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Fallen for someone that i can never have a relationship with

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've wanted to share this for a while but I was hesitant and I was putting it off for a while but I've found the courage to share it and i feel like it will a good thing to share it. Basically I was seeing an advisor that college recommended to me when i dropped our last year in november and i started having feelings for her and they were pretty intense and i felt like i had to tell her, obviously with her being in a professional position she had to stop seeing me and i respected that and i understood but i cant stop thinking about her and the feelings are so intense and its painful to know that ill never see her again and never speak to her again and im not sure how im going to move forward or move on, everything reminds me of her, even small things like people with the same colour hair and it's so painful and it makes my life feel empty without her even though I never had a relationship with her, it's like I lost her but how can I lose something I never had? I'm so confused and I don't know how to move on or deal with it.

it's a pretty strange and complicated thing I know but I needed to share it and get it off my chest and maybe get some advice on what to do?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Time.

    Time is what makes you get over her. Those things don't go away over night.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there LP1234,

    It is good to see you on here :). I imagine speaking about the issue here must have been a very bold step – great stuff mate :d. We can all identify with you on the subject of wanting something we can just never seem to have.

    There is this material here on TheSite which I have included a link to which you might find very helpful thinking through this.
    http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/unrequited-love-3182.html

    Like StrubbleS said, time in due course will help you get over this. In the time being, I have a couple of questions or suggestions you can think about or talk through with people :thumb:.

    You mention that you can’t stop thinking about her and that everything reminds you of her – are there any times when you’re able to get a break from these intense feelings?
    What are your interests, it might be a great idea to keep yourself occupied with friends, exploring your interests or even going out to meet new people. These might help to fill the void that you’re experiencing and to build your confidence in the future.

    How do these sound to you?

    Let’s us know what you know + how you get on?

    Stay safe

    :wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deji:) wrote: »
    Hey there LP1234,

    It is good to see you on here :). I imagine speaking about the issue here must have been a very bold step – great stuff mate :d. We can all identify with you on the subject of wanting something we can just never seem to have.

    There is this material here on TheSite which I have included a link to which you might find very helpful thinking through this.
    http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/unrequited-love-3182.html

    Like StrubbleS said, time in due course will help you get over this. In the time being, I have a couple of questions or suggestions you can think about or talk through with people :thumb:.

    You mention that you can’t stop thinking about her and that everything reminds you of her – are there any times when you’re able to get a break from these intense feelings?
    What are your interests, it might be a great idea to keep yourself occupied with friends, exploring your interests or even going out to meet new people. These might help to fill the void that you’re experiencing and to build your confidence in the future.

    How do these sound to you?

    Let’s us know what you know + how you get on?

    Stay safe

    :wave:

    Hi thanks for replying, there isnt many times where i get a break from these feelings, it seems like there happening most of the time, its hard because even though i did like her, i dont want to think about her anymore but it almost seems like my lifes empty without her in my life? Pretty extreme i know. I do have friends that i do sometimes go out with but not often, my social anxiety is the reason for that its gotten to the point where they just dont bother inviting me anymore because they know most of the time i wont go, i want to meet new people but again my social anxiety stops me and really gets in the way and even though i do want to meet new people, it seems like at the moment the only person i want to see is this person, even though i cant and its pretty frustrating how much i feel for her, i never knew my emotions could get this strong for someone. This is a new feeling for me because i have never felt like this for someone before so i have no idea how to cope, it doesnt feel like i can cope. Sometimes i think about what could have been if that makes sense? What it would have been like if i was with her, its all fantasy though, it will never happen.
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