Fed up

Former Member

I'm fed up.

I'm depressed and still battling with my existing mental health problems.

I don't want to see a CPN anymore. It was obvious that he hadn't read any of my notes and just spent time talking about crap. He was asking me personal questions despite this being the first time I met him, without even acknowledging that it might be difficult, because well... I don't even know him. Why should I trust him when we haven't built any sort of relationship? And my last CPNs... 1 worked so hard to get me discharged and the other one said she'd stick with me but then didn't bother to tell me she was retiring. They go on about supporting me, but they don't actually make anything happen or make me feel better. I really don't see the point. I told him last session I might as well be discharged.

And time. If it was helpful, I'd make time. Like I've done for the past 2 years. But it isn't. I thought I did the right thing by going back on anti-depressants but the GP only gave me 2 weeks worth. And I need to see her again, and have a blood test regularly. I don't have the time - I can't keep taking time off as it's adding to the stress of the whole situation.

I'm fed up. I don't have the energy for this. I'm going to cancel the appt with my CPN and not bother with the new meds if it means so many appointments.

Also, why should I spend ages talking about how I feel just for the hell of it? It's a joke. Surprisingly talking about my sleep and appetite and how shit I feel doesn't make me feel any better. They can all go away.

Former Member

Is it worth telling them all of this, maybe even showing them this thread? I totally understand how you feel, I've been there and everyone's journey is different, you need to tell them what does and doesn't work for you. I know it's not easy but this is one thing you can do which could make a big difference to how you are treated.

Let us know how it goes!

Former Member

I'm not sure. I'll try to tell them.

I really don't know what to do. These next few weeks are critical for me in terms of university etc and I'm just not coping. I feel bad but don't know who to talk to. Don't really want to talk to anyone because I can't really see it doing much help. Just lying in bed wanting so badly to be able to get up and do something. Socialise, go to the gym, do some work. But I can't.

Former Member

What is it that's stopping you? What's the feeling? Is there any support strategies that you could use to get you out?

Former Member

I don't 100% know. It's almost like my body is made out of lead and it just requires too much energy, effort and willpower which I don't have.

I guess part of it is "what's the point?". I don't feel good out of bed. I don't feel any better. I guess before with my other mental health problems, getting out of bed DID help, even if things were hard. I could enjoy things if I could distract myself from whatever crisis I was going through. But it's different now. For example, usually if I can get my butt to the gym, I'm pleased I went. But I went on Thursday and just hated it. Hated being out of the house when I didn't have to be, hated that people were seeing me. It's hard to have motivation to do stuff that hasn't made a difference to how I feel if that makes sense.