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Advice for someone who cares for someone who self harms

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, my girlfriend told my a while ago she had an eating disorder and cut herself. I want to help her but don't really know how. For example, sometimes we're talking by the internet and she suddenly stops answering (most times this happens we had been talking previously about self harm) and i get the feeling she might be cutting herself, but don't know whether y should say something or not. I know she's not supposed to stop self harming and start seeing herself in an objective way all of a sudden, but still... If anyone could give me some advice on what to say or to do to make her feel better, it'd be lovely ^^

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Kirtash,

    Welcome to the boards :)

    It's lovely to see you are trying to get advice on supporting someone you care about. I don't have much useful advice but Thesite has an amazing article on supporting someone who self harms which is probably worth a look.

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let her know that you're there for her if she wants to talk. But don't force the subject.
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey their Kirtash,

    Welcome to TheSite.org message boards :wave: It's great to hear that your girl friend has the option of opening up to you, and it's always a positive for her to have someone to reach out to, however, their is also a lot of pressure a person can put on a relationship when they open up about any mental health difficulty, etc. As the relationship may seem for demanding, etc. But you've taken the first step and reached out for yourself, as you need to look after yourself.

    How do you feel the relationships going at the moment? With self harm, it can often be difficult telling people, or opening up about it in a relationship, so you would need to take it at a pace you both feel comfortable, maybe it's about expressing your worries to each other for example while out for a cuppa? :) However, like Melian said, don't force the subject, as it can often leave people feeling rather edgy.

    However, just being their for her is a positive, it sounds like she could really do with someone like you, does she get any support, for example counselling, etc? If not, maybe it's just about giving her encouragement, and really support her through it? But you also need to remember to look after yourself to!:)

    Best wishes,
    WhispersOfTheHeart
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you very much to everyone ^^
    Butterfly123, thanks for the link, i found it very helpful ^^
    Melian, thanks for the advice, I'll try not to force it, but i still get nervous when she seems depressed or i see new scars on her. :(
    Whispers of the heart, yes, the relationship is great, and she is getting professional help, actually she was already getting it when she told me. However, i don't think i need help myself xdd
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is she aware that you get nervous when you see her new scars?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    Is she aware that you get nervous when you see her new scars?

    Probably. I mean, it must not be very difficult to notice.
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