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Frustrated!!!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Aaaaagh im so frustrated!!

I just got back from visiting my friend in her new flat. Its nothing fancy but shes moved in with her sister and its their place, they have their independence. Meanwhile Im the last of my friends to move out and have their own life, im nearly 24, still living at home and feeling more and more.... frustrated about it. I cant think of any other word.

Ever since ive moved back from uni, nearly 3 years ago, ive had itchy feet but been advised to stay at home and save my money. Which makes sense I know. And recently my parents have been advising to save as much as possible to try and buy a house when i move out instead of rent. Which again I know makes sense. I just dont know when that will be, and right now im in a shitty job I hate with barely any social life, sitting in my bedroom of my parents house every night.

I always feel a bit selfish putting my problems on here because i know that they're nothing compared to the some of the things i read on here but im more and more feeling like why would you not to do something you really really want to do just because of money? If you can afford it (which to be fair i can on my salary) then why not?

Comments

  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I don't have any advice, sorry, but wanted to comment on this:
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    I always feel a bit selfish putting my problems on here because i know that they're nothing compared to the some of the things i read on here
    Don't fall into this fallacy. If everyone whose problems are not as bad as others' never said anything, no one would ever say anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    I'm more and more feeling like why would you not to do something you really really want to do just because of money? If you can afford it (which to be fair i can on my salary) then why not?

    I think you should ask yourself this question. Why not? I wondered what is really stopping you, if you can think of anything? Would it make you happier? Do you really want to get your own place, more than anything?

    You've been advised to save your money but I think you would benefit more with having your own place, which you know you could afford. I say do it.

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Make a list of the reasons for and against look at what you'd like to do and as butterfly said the reasons stopping you.

    If you feel it's right then your parents will come round to it. I moved out at 18 my parents weren't really ok with it aswell as several years later moving areas which they didn't agree to and tried to talk me out of it but I stuck by what I wanted and I would never go back.

    If you are sure of your decision go for it.

    Whenever I've made decisions I've just gone with the 'you only live once so go for it!'


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I want to get another job as Im sick of mine so Id quite like to wait until im settled in something else first. Im just frustrated im getting nowhere very fast
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Well I want to get another job as Im sick of mine so Id quite like to wait until im settled in something else first. Im just frustrated im getting nowhere very fast

    Are you looking for a new job? Do you know what kind of job you would like?

    I guess these things take time, and it sounds like for the time being you would like to wait before you look for a new place to live.

    So it's more the feeling of frustration then, and finding ways around this? Do you have many friends?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being the practical sort, if your parents are allowing you to stay (I suspect almost rent free) in order to give you a chance to save enough money for a decent deposit then the sensible option is to stay at home, even if it isn't the "coolest" one.

    You mention your friend, she's moved in with her sister. Not exactly branching out..... I suspect your other friends, most of them will be couples as well and as you know it's easier to afford the rent/mortgage if there are 2 of you contributing towards it.

    My advice would be to be patient, buying a house really is the best option if you can afford it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am looking at the moment, but no interviews yet. I do have friends but most of them live far away now, and because of where I live, it's not very easy or cheap to get to town and back so I'm also feeling a bit trapped here.

    Also i am planning to find a roommate other wise i would get lonely and I don't know if if an ever afford to buy, what if I can't?
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Hi Lexi, have you started doing any research around mortgages or even part-rent/part-buy schemes? I can completely relate to your question 'what if I can't ever afford it' as I've often felt the same way, but the only real way to know that is to identify what kind of property and area you might want to live in, how much a deposit might cost and how long it might take for you to save it. Once you know the facts you can decide - ok yes I'm willing to stay and save for x amount of time or ok no, that's not actually achievable within a time-frame that's acceptable to me so I'll explore the rental market a bit more...

    In terms of your life as it stands, have you thought about doing some volunteering? I know its the word on all our lips at thesite at the mo, and that's because it really can boost your network, experiences and confidence.

    Glad you've posted about this :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    I don't know if if an ever afford to buy, what if I can't?

    With a 10% desposit most banks will lend 3 times your annual salary over a 25 year mortgage. The more deposit you have, the better which is why imho you're better off staying at home to give you a chance to save one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in the exact same boat - I'm working for minimum wage and I'm only a temp so I have no job security. You're not alone!
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