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The decision to take drugs...

**helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
For those of you who have taken any drug that isn't alcohol, cigarettes or caffeine ;)

What was your decision making process?

Tis all :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't remember the first time, but it never seemed like a big thing to me. My friends did it, my friends parents did it, it didn't bother me. The decision to stop was much more of a big thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wanted the experience, the opportunity arose to try it with my friend
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    i didn't see what was wrong with it, my mother did it, grandparents done it ... and they said it would make me happy
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,283 Skive's The Limit
    My mates were doing them, they looked like fun and so I wanted to know what the fuss was about. Turns out they were lots of fun.
    Started with weed and ecstasy and although I have grown to dislike weed now, I still think ecstasy is an incredible experience.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Reality

    My decision to use was always in order to escape reality. For one reason or other, I never gained much of an ability to handle it without making the excuse "I can't do this without being high". After 12 years of using drugs, mostly ice, I've gotten tired of the excuses and relapses and lies I've told everyone. It could be anything from not being able to forget my childhood from hell and the damage it's done to simply oversleeping one morning. Took a long time to realize that they were only excuaes. I could find another way. Working on finding at least an effectice one.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Seal83 wrote: »
    My decision to use was always in order to escape reality. For one reason or other, I never gained much of an ability to handle it without making the excuse "I can't do this without being high". After 12 years of using drugs, mostly ice, I've gotten tired of the excuses and relapses and lies I've told everyone. It could be anything from not being able to forget my childhood from hell and the damage it's done to simply oversleeping one morning. Took a long time to realize that they were only excuaes. I could find another way. Working on finding at least an effectice one.

    It's really positive to hear you're working on finding another way, thanks for sharing your story.

    Have you accessed any professional support?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Professional help

    Helen,
    i do go to NA amd have a sponsor, but she seems to be on the lax side of things. I miss my old sponsor who was tougher, easier to listen to and made more sense. I do have a therapist though.
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Seal,

    It's really positive that you've got some professional support - it sounds like you're taking all the right steps.

    Do you think you could talk to your sponsor and ask them to be a bit stricter? I guess with sponsors, it can be a bit hit and miss. I'm not sure how your NA group is set up, but maybe you could ask for a different sponsor?

    Having a therapist is another great step. Do you find them helpful?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At first it wasn't peer pressure but they did it so I wanted to give it a try and it felt good so I kept on doing it until I realised I was smoking weed to fill an emotional void and i stopped.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JPick wrote: »
    Hey Seal,

    It's really positive that you've got some professional support - it sounds like you're taking all the right steps.

    Do you think you could talk to your sponsor and ask them to be a bit stricter? I guess with sponsors, it can be a bit hit and miss. I'm not sure how your NA group is set up, but maybe you could ask for a different sponsor?

    Having a therapist is another great step. Do you find them helpful?

    JPic,
    I think it is time for either a new sponsor, @or something in addition. I see my therapist tomorrow so I will bring a lot of this up- I think it will help. I also think taking more proactive steps, like going to more meetings and finding a support group outside. I get distracted into a million things outside of recovery. I also get lazy after doing well for a while. I stop doing as much of the program because I'm doing well. I want to be the person who encourages, helps strengthen and support others through recovery. I'm so tired of it being the other way around, but I can't be that without being stable in it all, myself. The hardest part of a desire is the work to turn it nto a reality. The rest are your benefits.
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