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To Leave or not to leave?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey Guys!

I have looked extensively at website for all kinds of help and advice on this but just can't seem to make the break for some reason. Since I started uni in Bristol back in September 2012 I've wanted to leave, but I kept at it and despite not attending I got a 2:1 in my first year. I have good friends and family living close and love the city but I rarely attend lectures, missed deadlines, get upset about it and somehow still feel alone in the decision.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in January of this year, which obviously has an effect on uni and my lecturers have been really good about this. I think my main worry is I don't know what to do if I leave-does anyone have any realistic help? I study International Relations but really want to work with children (I am fully CRB checked etc).

I am quite literally at the end of my tether.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have a personal tutor you can talk to?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have previously spoken to my module leader who offered me help, or to go part time but who also said leaving could be the best option and ultimately it was my decision. I had decided to go part time, but then I just felt as bad and nothing changed in my mindset.

    I have my parents support to do whatever I want, although leaving will ultimately mean leaving Bristol and moving home, which I'd prefer not to do. But they just worry I'm not in the right frame of mind to make the decision, which is understandable, but I worry that is something that might not change for a long time.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    RuthAnne wrote: »
    But they just worry I'm not in the right frame of mind to make the decision, which is understandable.

    This is a really interesting statement and seems quite contradictory - on the one hand your parents recognise that you're struggling mentally as your 'frame of mind' isn't quite right. But at the same time they aren't making the connection between that and how that same frame of mind is affecting your ability to cope with uni, make decisions within a learning environment and really reach your potential. Does that make sense, and is it potentially something you could explain to them? As much as they want you to carry on, it's worth trying to help them understand that you can't isolate the impact of your diagnosis.

    What can help to improve your condition is having recognised an area you're passionate about - working with children. Is this something you've had prior experience of? Happy to make some suggestions on taking this forward, perhaps on a voluntary/part-time course kind of basis, if you feel it's a direction you're really serious about?

    Really good to hear your lecturers have been so supportive and are able to help you make your own decision. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Helen,

    Thanks for your post. That makes complete sense! I guess it's put my confused thoughts into something comprehensible. For example I know that leaving may be something which I regret but similarly I know that I can't cope with things as they are.

    I spoke to a student advisor yesterday and found out I am able to suspend my studies for up to two years. This gives me the option to start again in second year at the course I'm doing this September or next or that I can apply internally for another course. Which at the moment seems like the more appealing option.

    I have lots of experience of working with children: I have a junior sports leadership award which was teaching children in year 3, I am a trained Cub Leader and work with
    Beaver, Cubs and Scout units back at home, I have worked in a kids soft play doing childrens' parties and have a number of personal references from looking after my niece's friends. I would be happy to show all experience from my cv if that is useful. If you could give me some advise on how I could go forward with this that would be great?

    I've figured even though it may not be a long term option, I need to do what makes me happy short term.

    Once again, Thank you so much!
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