I need help...Triggering.

Former Member

On Tuesday night I took a large overdose and collapsed under the stairs at the reception where I live and the staff and resident's had to stay with me and an ambulance came I wasn't aware of what was going on the only thing I can remember is when the paramedic was going to take me in that I "couldn't go, I needed the toilet. But someone had stolen my shoe" Then my friend came with me to the hospital and we sat their for around 7 hours being monitored and having hourly blood tests done and being observed before the nurse said 'We need to put you on a IV Drip' Naturally I didn't want the IV so when the Nurse came and put the Cannula (can't spell) in my arm I said I was going for some fresh air and she said if me and my friend didn't come back in 10 minutes then they'd contact the police. Obviously I didn't go back and we walked home from hospital after being in there for around 8-9 hours.

The police we're called and they came and judged my safety but I told them I was feeling fine and I just needed some rest and was going to go to sleep, I took my own cannula out (oops) so they we're 'fine' as long as staff checked on me every hour.

Then on Thursday night I took another overdose, but a staff member walked in my room during it and called an ambulance, when the paramedics came I refused to go to the hospital and then he said "Emily, We're going to have to call the police and get you sectioned" he was concerned the fact I couldn't sit down, or stand still and I was moving around all over the place. which is actually normal for me! more than the fact I'd taken an overdose. So I went to hospital and then had to have someone sit with me to make sure I didn't leave again.

My bloods we're taken and I refused and I.V also had other tests like ECG and then I was told they've all come back abnormal, but I refused to have treatment and then left the hospital again after telling the nurse that I felt fine and had no plans to try and harm myself and everything that I felt they wanted to hear but I didn't feel was true, really my friend was really tired and I thought if I lied she could go home. which worked.

Now...I just feel even worse, and if I go back..this week, they said I'll get sectioned for average 6 months....I just can't handle that! I need help though

Former Member

Sorry to ear you're struggling. You should accept the help as thry see you as helping yourself. If you keep harming yourself they will section you but accept the iv. Do you really want to die? Remember if you die that's the end of it no chance. Lt them help you looks like you want them too but r scared xxx


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Former Member

I'm sorry to hear how low you have been feeling recently *hug*

You say you can't handle being sectioned, but you want help. I'm just wondering what do you actually want? Why don't you think you could handle being sectioned?

I think accepting the help when people are trying to give it would be a good idea, this way you can be looked after but not feel so, sort of, trapped.

People care about you em, and we're here for you.

Former Member

Emmalee wrote: »

On Tuesday night I took a large overdose and collapsed under the stairs at the reception where I live and the staff and resident's had to stay with me and an ambulance came I wasn't aware of what was going on the only thing I can remember is when the paramedic was going to take me in that I "couldn't go, I needed the toilet. But someone had stolen my shoe" Then my friend came with me to the hospital and we sat their for around 7 hours being monitored and having hourly blood tests done and being observed before the nurse said 'We need to put you on a IV Drip' Naturally I didn't want the IV so when the Nurse came and put the Cannula (can't spell) in my arm I said I was going for some fresh air and she said if me and my friend didn't come back in 10 minutes then they'd contact the police. Obviously I didn't go back and we walked home from hospital after being in there for around 8-9 hours.

The police we're called and they came and judged my safety but I told them I was feeling fine and I just needed some rest and was going to go to sleep, I took my own cannula out (oops) so they we're 'fine' as long as staff checked on me every hour.

Then on Thursday night I took another overdose, but a staff member walked in my room during it and called an ambulance, when the paramedics came I refused to go to the hospital and then he said "Emily, We're going to have to call the police and get you sectioned" he was concerned the fact I couldn't sit down, or stand still and I was moving around all over the place. which is actually normal for me! more than the fact I'd taken an overdose. So I went to hospital and then had to have someone sit with me to make sure I didn't leave again.

My bloods we're taken and I refused and I.V also had other tests like ECG and then I was told they've all come back abnormal, but I refused to have treatment and then left the hospital again after telling the nurse that I felt fine and had no plans to try and harm myself and everything that I felt they wanted to hear but I didn't feel was true, really my friend was really tired and I thought if I lied she could go home. which worked.

Now...I just feel even worse, and if I go back..this week, they said I'll get sectioned for average 6 months....I just can't handle that! I need help though

How r u? Hope u got support Emmalee

Former Member

Emmalee - are you receiving any help from your GP or the mental health team?

Former Member

Friend overdosed right in front of me, Told staff and then went with her to the hospital, can't help but blame myself for her overdosing since I've put her through stuff by making her remember her past, because I had a breakdown, for 3/4 hours I was running around the streets in my socks and dressing gown in the rain singing and shouting that I was going to go jump in the river and go swimming, including getting on the other side of the bridge. I don't remember doing this, or remember getting all my clothes out of my woardrobe and throwing them out my window. but I was told by friend. Who went onto overdose that very night.

I've bought paracetamol again, the same amount I took when I took the large one, I'm not sure how much more I can handle beign alone or feeling alone. I keep being threatened with being sectioned...

I see my GP every 2 weeks, but no I don't have any other mental health team...

Former Member

Emmalee do you think you could call the out of hours GP or Samaritans? It sounds like the environment you're in can be quite triggering for you and for others but you're not to blame for your friend's overdose. It must have been really upsetting to witness so try and be gentle with yourself and talk to us about it if you need to?

It's good you're seeing your GP regularly but it might be time for an emergency appointment, what do you think?

You shouldn't have to feel alone and I'm sad that you feel so on your own right now. Don't forget that there are a lot of people that care about you here and we can offer our help, our hope and our support whenever you need it *hug*

Former Member

On Friday night I had a breakdown again, Took an overdose my flat mate walked in during and then called reception who called an ambulance, I ran around the building refusing to go in..Eventually ended up in the ambulance and was taken to hospital, where the doctor said 'You're just a waste of money on the NHS' so i discharged myself before I'd even had my bloods taken, So I went home..Cried a bit, then calmed down played some silly music with my friend and sat on the computer, then the police came and said 'Emily, You need to come with us' I refused so two of the police put their hands on my arms and said 'Your being detained, we aren't putting you in handcuffs but we're not letting you go'. Then I broke down and became highly distressed, Ended up back in hospital refusing to move of the chair..

Eventually I was referred to crisis and the home treatment/ intensive team. who are now coming to see me everyday to check I'm okay and are wanting to admit me into hospital for 6 months in January, if I show no progress, they've even said themselves I'm showing signs of Bipolar Disorder and are going to refer me for a Diagnosis...

Former Member

Home treatment team have discharged me even though they've said I'm high risk to myself but because I appear to be 'dressed, and engaging' they don';t thhink i need their support...Having horrible thoughts right now

Just wish I was dead...Need to be dead

**helen**

Emmalee wrote: »

Home treatment team have discharged me even though they've said I'm high risk to myself but because I appear to be 'dressed, and engaging' they don';t thhink i need their support...Having horrible thoughts right now

Just wish I was dead...Need to be dead

Hey Emmalee, just wanted to drop in and let you know you're life is still worth living and we're here listening. I can see you're really struggling and as hard as it is try not to let the negative thoughts get the better of you. you've done well to reach out and keep talking here. Are you able to talk about something of the things that are causing you the most distress/worry/fear at the moment?