Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

making the first time less painful?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

Me and my gf (both 22) are ready to have sex. I am not a virgin, but she is. We are having difficulty doing it for the first time as I dont want to hurt her, and she is scared of being hurt. Writing this, she has said she is ready to have sex.

Having looked it up on the internet, some peoples stories of their first time has really put her off and it is the part where it hurts that we get to and then stop.

Is there a way to make it less painful (other than horse riding)?

Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lube lube lube!! :) And lots of foreplay. Be gentle, if it's too painful for her then stop but a lot of the pain is often psychological (because she's built it up in her head as a painful experience, it'll feel painful kinda thing) so it's all about her being relaxed and comfortable.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As BA said, be gentle, supportive and have lots of foreplay!
    I am sure there must be some stories online about people who have not found their first time painful. Maybe read some of those with her?
    From what I can remember of mine, it was sometimes uncomfortable and a little sore afterwards, but the enjoyment totally outweighed the little bit of discomfort felt.
  • Options
    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Totally agree with the ladies above, just wanted to chip in with a para from one of TheSite articles that I think might be worth sharing with your girl?
    Will losing my virginity hurt?

    We’re not going to lie to you. Yes, it might hurt. How much varies from girl to girl. But there’s lots you can try to minimise the pain. Firstly: foreplay foreplay foreplay. Get to know each other’s bodies first through touching, kissing and licking. If you’re turned on, your vagina will release natural lubricant, making penetration easier and less painful. But the most important thing is to try to relax. If you tense up, your vaginal muscles will too, sometimes resulting in a burning, stinging or aching sensation. Remember you can stop at any time if you don’t feel comfortable.

    Here's a link to where it came from

    Great to see you're going out of your way to make sure it's a positive experience for both of you. :love:
Sign In or Register to comment.