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Weight Issues
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Something I haven't really talked about is my weight but its something I have battled with for the past 8 years.
I was always a healthy weight because I trained in martial arts four times a week..I never worried about what I ate because I would always burn it off. I have never been "thin" and I have always had curves...
When I was 16 an injury put an end to my training and between the age of 16-20 I put on an enormous amount of weight. In 2010 I decided I wanted to get fit...the weight thing was not the driving force behind that change but I knew losing weight would come part of getting fitter. The weight came off healthily until I injured my back so severly I couldnt stand, walk or sit for longer than 15 mins of each. I continued to lose weight to get back to my goal weight which at 5"2 would make me a comfortable size 10 and I achieved that.
I maintained my weight loss for 8 months until my Dad passed away...then comfort eating took control again and I put on a third of the weight I had lost. In Jan 2013 I decided enough was enough and I spent 11 months losing the weight and toning up at the gym to get in a dress for a work party last weekend.
Now I am in a situation where I am getting a lot of male attention and I'm being told by friends and family that I look the best I ever have...but...in my head I am no slimmer/fitter/toned than I was when I was several stone heavier than I am now...and I am going round in circles of binge eating then starving myself which is not how I lost weight in the first place. I am also becoming obsessional about exercise and I panic if something prevents me from going to a gym class....i know some of it is driven by needing to be in control because of other things happening that feel out of my control but I dont know how to get over the "fat" image I have of myself before it gets out of hand...
I was always a healthy weight because I trained in martial arts four times a week..I never worried about what I ate because I would always burn it off. I have never been "thin" and I have always had curves...
When I was 16 an injury put an end to my training and between the age of 16-20 I put on an enormous amount of weight. In 2010 I decided I wanted to get fit...the weight thing was not the driving force behind that change but I knew losing weight would come part of getting fitter. The weight came off healthily until I injured my back so severly I couldnt stand, walk or sit for longer than 15 mins of each. I continued to lose weight to get back to my goal weight which at 5"2 would make me a comfortable size 10 and I achieved that.
I maintained my weight loss for 8 months until my Dad passed away...then comfort eating took control again and I put on a third of the weight I had lost. In Jan 2013 I decided enough was enough and I spent 11 months losing the weight and toning up at the gym to get in a dress for a work party last weekend.
Now I am in a situation where I am getting a lot of male attention and I'm being told by friends and family that I look the best I ever have...but...in my head I am no slimmer/fitter/toned than I was when I was several stone heavier than I am now...and I am going round in circles of binge eating then starving myself which is not how I lost weight in the first place. I am also becoming obsessional about exercise and I panic if something prevents me from going to a gym class....i know some of it is driven by needing to be in control because of other things happening that feel out of my control but I dont know how to get over the "fat" image I have of myself before it gets out of hand...
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I just wanted to say that you are beautiful in your own way, it doesn't matter how you look. I know you haven't exactly said that you don't feel beautiful, or pretty, but when I have 'fat days' I feel really ugly too. It sounds like everyone else knows you're not fat, you just need to try and start believing them. I do know that's easier said than done though.
Have you ever thought about talking to your GP about all of this? Do you have any friends or family that you could feel comfortable talking to?
You say you're becoming sort of obsessed with the gym, and exercising. Do you have a personal trainer, or could you get one? You need to be careful. Exercise is great, and can really help with your mood, but you can have too much. I think a personal trainer would be good as s/he could tell you what you need to focus on, or when you need to stop, stuff like that. Also, maybe try and cut down on the amount of times you go to the gym and make a sort of routine that you could stick to. Things like how many times you'll go to the gym a week, which days, which exercise you will do on which day.
The first step is realising something isn't quite right, well done on that. You'll get there eventually. We're here for you *hug*
Thank you...I don't feel pretty at all...I don't believe my friends and family when they tell me I look good...I know I should but I always wonder if they are just saying it. Its also stopping me from having a relationship as I think if they looked at me properly they would see I'm ugly...
I haven't spoken to my GP as I didnt think it was something they could help with. I have hinted at friends that I feel fat but like all good friends they just try and reassure me that im not. If I mention i feel fat to my mum she isnt much help because she has suffered with anorexia in the past and thinks im heading the same way.
I have been going to 3 gym classes every week which are all run by proper fitness instructors and give me a balanced cardiovascular workout with weight based training...but last week I ended up going to 5 and this week I planned on doing 6 but where does it stop? My back injury is killing me but I refuse to rest it because my mind is telling me I can't miss a gym class!
I just wish I could be as slim as the image in my head...on the other hand, i know how distorted my perception of body image is because I loved the figure of a girl on a documentary I was watching, then found out she was anorexic. Its like a constant battle with myself on whats realistic and whats unhealthy...
You need to be careful. Exercising that much with a back injury may do more damage long term, which won't help things at all. How do you feel about maybe making a chart, and trying to cut down on days? If you write down when you will go to the gym, and cut down on how many times you go now, it may help to have sort of a set routine that you could stick to.
This sounds like something you could definitely see your GP about. S/he may know a bit more about stuff like this, and know how best to help you. I think it's worth a try if you're up for it?
I have also got my "food tracker" back out and have given myself a calorie amount per day thats healthy but will give me a weight loss (a sensible one).
Having said that I don't trust myself to follow it because already I'm worrying about Christmas and needing to lose lots of weight before it comes round...im also looking in the mirror and hating everything and wanting the weight to come off now...
Right now I dont want to see my GP but I wont rule it out....I dont really trust the nhs anymore...
How's it going this week?
Long time no talk on here.
Sorry to hear about your battles with food, we are all here for you.
I can imagine that not being able to go to the gym is frustrating, but hopefully you will be feeling better soon, please take care of yourself and PM me if you want a chat. Sending you hugs ♡
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Thank you...My mood is stupidly erratic from taking medication thats making me feel depressed and not being able to exercise for a boost...im constantly fighting with myself as to when i can go back as i wanted to go back wednesday but was still unwell and my GP is saying after xmas...
Sorry I've not really been around much...things have been difficult recently. Hope your ok? x
I am fine thank you, slowly getting there
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "