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Struggling and hating myself

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I'm really struggling to keep myself going - I'm so tired and hurting that I don't very often feel like doing much other than sitting about. But if I'm not achieving something pretty much constantly then I feel so totally pathetic and useless. This has totally been exacerbated by finding out that I'm a lot more over weight than I thought. I hate how I'm starting to hate myself and wanting to get a little self destructive. I'm doing what I can to try and make myself feel a little better but tbh I feel like I haven't much control right now.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've started to self harm again. My mother is driving me nuts and I can hardly bare to be in the same room as her. I'm making ever excuse to spend as little time with her because she makes me so angry. Everyone around me is seeing it too and commenting on it. She's totally over stepping the limit and not letting me doing things I need to do just to stay sane. She's being incredibly unsupportive, to the point she's not letting me plan more than a couple of days ahead because she's become so chaotic. She's also said she may decide to go elsewhere for Xmas, but hasn't made a decision yet...!!!! And I and getting to the stage of wanting to throw myself head first into self destruct mode. I'm ready to do stuff that I'm not going to mention on here but I know I'm not going in a good direction.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't really know what to do - my friendship between me and my best friend is on the rocks and I still want to just self destruct but I dot at the same time. What do I do??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I usually find that time away from each other works.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not going to say a lot because i'm not good at all tonight. but I know what you are going through I have the same problem with my dad and I don't speak to him much, I try to avoid him as much as I can because when he opens his mouth to say something he always gets me down. your not alone and a lot of people are here for you. <3
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i have one friend less, i'm pushing 14 stone, and i'm practically tearing chunks out of myself. Im just finding every day harder than the last and i don't even want to get out. Of bed anymore. I dont really see what. I can do anymore.
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    katypatatykatypataty Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi Miss riot
    Really sorry to hear that you're feeling so sad ..looks like you were up pretty up late.
    Can I ask what kind of support you're getting at the moment? It sounds like you could really do with some help and you don't have to cope with this all on your own.*hug*
    Speak soon
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got my mum who can be great and really not at other times, my best friend who's 70 odd miles away who i don't actually get to see that often and i have an EMDR therapist but because EMDR is not about current stuff its difficult to talk about it in those sessions. So not really anyone i can hugely rely upon
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