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Would You Choose The Mother Of Your Children Or Your Girlfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am a man of 30 years with two children from a lady I've been dating for 5 years . My older son is three and the other is 8 months . I have paid lobola for this woman and the only thing left is to get married . The problem is , she disrespest me , we fight everyday for nothing and if she sees that she was wrong , she wouldn't appologise but want us to pretend as nothing ever happened . Whenever we have argument, he threatened to give back all the money I have paid and tell me that she is still young and fresh , lots of man would die to have her .
Last year I decided to date someone I had an eye for back to high school because I was no longer happy with my relationship . I am happy with this woman and we treat eachother very well and up to now we had never fought about anything . I want to get married in two years from now and the problem is , "who should I marry"? PLEASE HELP ME


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would check the warranty on your first girlfriend and return her if possible. She seems defect and not working as intended. No, seriously. I have no idea about customs of buying your bride, but I guess the obvious thing to advice is going for what makes you happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you get product insurance?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marry your horse. You clearly can't deal with women.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there PhilaM,

    Welcome to the forums! :wave:

    This must be a hard decision for you. Just to make you aware, TheSite is aimed at 16-25 year olds in the UK so you may find other sites more suitable in terms of getting support for your issues. In the mean time we can provide some general advice that you might find useful :)

    On the one side you have young kids with this lady you paid Lobola for and have dated her 5 years, however you fight a lot and she seems quite disrespectful to you - and on the other hand you are dating and seem to have fallen in love with your old high school friend - am I correct in saying this?

    It's important to assess what makes you happy. Being happy in yourself will also make your children happy, and if the fighting is constant with their mother, a calmer environment could do you all some good.

    There are a couple of things to think about before making an informed decision;
    - It's worth getting advice and informing yourself on the laws in your country regarding custody of the children if you were to decide to leave.
    - In terms of the Lobola - what are the rules? Can you leave her if you wish? Will the money issue be able to be solved?

    Consider what you feel is right for you, follow your gut instinct and take that decision :yes:

    Good luck and let us know how you get on!
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