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We lived very close to my parents, so now that I live with my parents again I live very close to him and I see him through the window a lot which I don't think helps me. I always get that weird feeling when he walks past the window, and I'll suddenly feel a bit sick. I've blocked him on Facebook so he can't message me on there, and I can't see anything hurtful he might put about me. I can't bring myself to delete his number off my phone yet.. I don't know why. I know his number off by heart so it wouldn't make any difference but I can't do it. I'm not going to text him. So I haven't spoken to him since, and I haven't been anywhere to see him.
I'm going to look at that q and a now, as I'm having more trouble sleeping at the moment. I have put all of the photos of us away, but I know they're there and I keep thinking about them. I also can't bring myself to delete them off my phone yet. He deleted the photos of me on his Facebook straight away
I've felt really stressed out, and a bit lost, and I'm sad all of the time. How long will I be sad for? I hate having to try and put on a brave face. Its worse because I feel like he's not even bothered at all, but all day everyday recently I can't be bothered to do anything. Maybe I should force myself to try..
I might try and go out at the weekend like you said. I'll have a think about what i could do and let you know, if that's okay?
I realised this morning that I start physiotherapy on Friday... uh. I honestly don't think I can drag myself to that, and concentrate on whatever she tells me I need to do. I completely forgot about it, and I've had the appointment for 2 weeks. Stupid me.
I wish all these horrible feelings could be over, cause I hate this
So nearly a week before me and him broke up, I applied for a child minding job. She got back to me and asked if I could go and meet her and her son but my boyfriend (I know I should call him my ex but don't want to yet
That's great news about the child minding! That will keep you occupied at the weekends like Jo said helping to keep your mind off things.
How do you feel about it? This is a positive step to take and it is a way to focus on yourself a little, as it sounds like you deserve it :thumb:
Good luck with meeting the family and the son and let us know how it goes
purple_rain
Not sleeping well, awake now watching a dvd so I'm not sure how I'll feel when I wake up tomorrow. Sorry, everyone, that I keep moaning.
You mention that you liked that you got to make your own decision about this and that's really important. It can be hard to lose a relationship but gaining your independence again can be super satisfying.
It also means that you probably feel a bit more responsible about it all going well too and if you've not done much the last few days it's going to feel a bit strange getting back out there in the world like you say, even just getting dressed, putting make up on and going outside which seem like everyday things. It's natural to have taken some time to feel sad this week, you're allowed to!
Please don't feel that you are moaning at all too - this place is exactly where to come when you need to offload. Good luck *hug*
I hope it goes well, who knows though. I feel like nothing ever goes well for me.
I've walked there to make sure I can find it later, and its literally a 5 minute walk from where I live which is good.
So far I've had a bath, done my hair and make up, got dressed, and been out of the house even if it was for just 10 minutes.
Also, I own a lot of clothes and most of the ones I usually wear are still packed. Took me ages to pick something to wear, but its good that I'm allowed to wear what I want and I don't have to wear what he wants me to anymore.
Even when we were together and he actually was hurting me I never told anyone that we knew, and its not fair that he's lying, and telling everyone these lies. I even have photos of marks and bruises he gave me on my phone, and even now I wouldn't show anyone..
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Sorry if I sound crabby with you, don't mean to. X
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Pretending for a moment that I agree with the concept of "slut": why?
My ex got very jealous over something that was nothing, this made me feel like he still loved me, and we ended up sleeping together. My fault I know. I'm an idiot and I bring all this shit on myself. Don't think we're planning on talking again.
Anyway.
Everybody makes bad choices at some point or other. I do regularly. Having sex with someone isn't the end of the world, though.
Is this the same guy or a different one? Because if it's the same one I'd suggest that not talking again is not a bad thing.
But tonight I'm feeling positive so this is how I'm going to look at the whole situation.
He doesn't love me if he can spread these lies about me, if he actually cared he would have spoke to me after last night or he could have at least text me today, he physically hurt me during our relationship which you shouldn't do to someone you're supposed to love and I can make my own decisions now! I can do what I want because he can't control me anymore. Yes, I'm still hurting and I'll still probably moan because who knows how I'll feel tomorrow, or the next day, or the week after. But in the long run I'm better off.
Thank you to everyone who supported me through this. I don't know what I would have done without the site, chat, and you guys. My family have been great but I don't tell them everything like I do on here. They still don't know that he physically hurt me, and that he tried to control a lot of things and they probably won't unless I absolutely need to tell them and I don't see why I would. So thanks again
I'd say perhaps this was a good thing as it's made you realise how little he cares about your feelings?
Keep up the positive thoughts!
I just need to enjoy life as it is now. I can make my own decisions, I can go out when and where I want, I have a job that I love which I wouldn't be allowed to do if we were still together, I don't feel pressured to do anything anymore.
The only thing that upsets me now is that people are eviling me in the street because of the lies he's spreading, which means people believe him. And also, he's getting his mate to spy on me. I thought this meant he misses me and isn't over me but I think that's wrong? I hope by doing this that my ex realises I can live without him, quite happily.
I am very angry. Just because I'm not there to be treated like his personal child minder does not mean he can leave the kids home alone! They are 7 and 5 years old. He left them for only about 10 minutes but still I don't agree with this. Apparently he didn't even lock the door. What the heck is he thinking!? I feel like I care about those children more than him.