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I can't cope

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
A lot more things are adding up again.
I'm crying. Don't know what to do. Got nobody to talk to.
Fuck sake :(
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    Hey Butterfly,

    Sorry to hear things are so difficult at the moment, have you managed to speak to anyone since posting this, for example a crisis helpline like Samaritans? It sounds like you're in an overwhelming position, how about telling us a bit more about what's going on for you, so we can offer you more personalized support?

    Crying is good to let emotions out, and reaching out on here was an amazing step to take, it's difficult feeling alone, but you can get through this. We're here for you m'dear :heart:

    Best wishes,
    Angel
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not spoken to anyone. Been crying on and off all night, only recently managed to stop. Now I'm just sat here. I feel numb.
    Boyfriend, college, family, people that aren't my family. I'm a failure.
    I messed up my chances of college a while ago, my only passion and it's just wasted because I'm stupid. I'm sick of people that don't like me sticking there noses into my life. I wish I could just live a happy life, be happy with all the people I care about instead of being stuck in the middle.
    My boyfriend told me before that he wants us to move house. I don't want to move, I want to stay here. I hate change and I know that the reason he wants me to move is so I'm further away from my family. And this is because his mum is sticking her nose in too.
    I don't know what to do. It's like I'm stuck, there's no way out of this unhappiness except the obvious one but I don't want to hurt my family any more than I ever have.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seriously thinking about giving up
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I haven't really got anything constructive to say. I just wanted to offer you a hug *hug*
    and say you aren't alone, you have all of us on here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Ellie :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its over, we broke up..... :crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Butterfly :wave:

    I have been reading your thread and I am sorry that you are struggling at the mo and I am sorry to hear about your relationship ending with your boyfriend, huge hugs coming your way *hug* What happened with your boyfriend?

    Angel is right crying is good to let it out, I cry a lot sometimes its hard not to at times.

    What happened with college and if you don't mind me asking what's your passion? You are not stupid we all make mistakes in life that's how we learn and grow.

    Let us know how you are and keep posting and like Ellie said you are not alone in this we are all here for you :heart:

    purple_rain
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We had a massive argument about an hour after I got back today. Uh, I'm starting to cry already while I'm typing. He trashed the bedroom, pulled my shelf down and stamped on it then through a load of ornaments and a cup of water at me. He was coming towards me so I ran out of the house and got my parents. We all went back to get my stuff. It was horrible and it hurts like hell.
    My passion is art. Wanted to go to college but I haven't got the right grade and I'm not allowed to retake an a level.
    I'm crying again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Woke up at 5.27.. didn't sleep very well, I feel sick.
    I didn't get to say bye to the kids...
    I won't see my dog again...
    I won't get through this. This hurts too much.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Really do hope you are okay, you can get through this and you will get through it, you are stronger than you think. I am here for you, and so is everybody else on here. You have people who care about you.

    Text me if you need a chat lovely <3 You are not alone. I promise things will get better for you. It's just tough at the minute but it will get easier. Don't give up just yet
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you... I'll try not to give up.. It's going to be hard. I feel sick.

    You can text me if you need me too, might not be the greatest help at the moment but I do care.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sending you massive cuddles right now. ♥

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :crying: All I can think is what if...
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hugs <3

    Wish there was something I could say to make everything better for you. Just know I care. Horrible seeing you so upset!!
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    butterfly123 wrote: »
    :crying: All I can think is what if...

    My "what if" is all about if he'd smashed you instead of your stuff. This is a good thing. Personally I'd be mentioning his abuse to someone incase he starts taking it out on the kids.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not doing that. Not because I don't care about the kids, I do care about them so please don't think that. He has never hurt the children and I don't think he will. This hurts too much already, I'm not adding to that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wish I could stop crying!! Every little thing is starting me off again! Even the thought of lemonade :( that sounds stupid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please can someone tell me how to deal with this :crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    butterfly123 wrote: »
    Please can someone tell me how to deal with this :crying:

    Hey butterfly - I'm sorry to hear about what happened. You mention the 'what ifs' and it's really natural to go over and over these after a break up. The thing is they don't change anything and often all it does is make you feel worse.

    Coping with a break up isn't easy but from what you have said before you have a really supportive family that you're close to. Lean on them, let them look after you and keep yourself in their company. Chat's on tonight which might be a good distraction for a few hours too. Big hugs and keep posting whenever you want to *hug**hug*
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    butterfly123 wrote: »
    Please can someone tell me how to deal with this :crying:

    Wish I could take the pain away. Hugs xx
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Jo.. and Claire.

    Another night sleeping alone tonight.. don't think I'm ever going to get used to this :(
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I know it seems like that now but it will get easier. Maybe take a look on the articles on here about relationships etc. I know there is a podcast about relationships and I think one of the questions is how to get over an ex. I cant link it cos I am using my phone but hopefully someone will be able too or a mod come along and link it :-) stay strong

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought about reading stuff but thought it might make me worse at the moment..

    Didn't sleep well, I dreamt about him again. Yesterday night I dreamt that he came to me and said he loved me and misses me and that he's never going to let me go again. Last night I dreamt that we were in a car together but he wasn't my friend, so I got out to check bus times and fell down a hole and he saved me and said he loved me..
    Wish I could stop hurting like this :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Feel really stressed out
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Finding it hard today. Feel like there's no change in my mood at all and that's making me worse :(
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    JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey butterfly,

    Sorry to hear you're feeling stressed and in pain. It's totally understandable after what's happened. It's a big moment and adjusting to this new situation must be scary.

    I agree with everything Jo said:
    Coping with a break up isn't easy but from what you have said before you have a really supportive family that you're close to. Lean on them, let them look after you and keep yourself in their company.

    Chat is on again this evening (general from 7pm and support from 8pm), so if you would like to talk about it or want a distraction, you can go along.

    In the meantime, do keep letting us know how you're doing :)

    Look after yourself *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All of us is getting into a lot of troubles in life not just you. It's not how you cope up, it's how you stand up after you got hit by troubles in life. I hope you're well now. :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't stop wondering if he's missing me and crying over me... is that stupid? All I keep thinking about is him. Why? :(
    I can't do this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't bring myself to say anything mean about him. I loved him, so why would I. I thought he did love me too but he's spreading lies to everyone and he's already hitting on other girls! So I meant nothing at all? Uh fuck off.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wondering if he's missing you is not stupid at all! When you have gone from living with someone, even if things have ended badly, part of us might hope that they miss us - it can help sometimes to feel that the relationship was worthwhile, that it meant something to both people, even if it's broken down.

    The fact that he is now spreading lies about you and hitting on other girls must be really difficult for you - do you think you might be able to get a bit of space from hearing about him, are you still in contact at all?

    This Q & A about 'How do I cope with a break up' might be useful for you to read. One of the things it says is:
    It’s always easy to blame yourself but just because someone has broken up with you doesn’t mean you’re worthless, you will have lots to offer to the right person. Painful as it seems, not speaking to your ex or having any contact with him is probably the healthiest thing to do, in the long run. Put away your reminders of him such as photographs and letters and try not to get them out until you feel better.

    Try not to be too hard on yourself, it's only been a few days and your emotions are likely to be all over the shop - you're allowed to cry, to feel sad, to feel angry and frustrated, lost, confused - it's part of the process and each emotion as you work through it will help you to recover.

    Maybe you could make some plans with family for the weekend to get out of the house and do something to take your mind off things?

    *hug*
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