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Mental health: 1st meeting with GP, anxious

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sincerely sorry that my first post bypasses the introductions, but I promise to be more sociable when I jump over this (hopefully brief) hurdle!

I've been neglecting the state of my mental health for yeeeeaaaaars, living in constant denial about my cutting, suicidal thoughts, occasional hallucinations, and cycling between highs and pretty abysmal lows. I'm quite proud that it's never affected my work, university, or volunteering, but I don't think I want to continue living a life where I can't face waking up. Every month brings at least one crippling panic attack, which only recently I've accepted. I'm genuinely fearful of being alone in the house. Last summer was horrific. I remember spending one whole day lying down on the living room floor just because I was so empty. Scissors were close-by, so I had to physically wrench myself off the floor and walk out of the house just to stop myself. My brother and my Dad were home this summer, so I had someone to latch onto.

But anywhoooo....

I was wondering if anyone would be so kind as to share their first meeting with their GP? It will be the first time speaking about this to anyone for me, and I'm pretty terrified. Someone at work opened up about their bipolarism and suicide attempt, and she is so confident and happy, I couldn't believe it. If she can be so happy with such a history, then why can't I? I'm still undecided whether or not to open up to my family and friends about all this. Still pretty much in denial myself.

Sorry for this ridiculous catharsis. But I'd really appreciate some stories! Even if they are negative, I'd rather face the reality of it all.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm just popping in briefly so not in a good headspace to sit down and write a detailed, personal response but I wondered if you've seen DocReady? www.docready.org is a great tool to help you prepare what you need to say to explain your issues to your GP.

    Well done for taking such a brave step. You don't need to shout it from the rooftops, but it's great that you can talk here and are prepared to talk to a professional. High five for that. :yippe:

    These videos might also be helpful:

    Self-harm: interview with a GP
    Self-harm: interview with a health professional
    Good luck, keep us posted.
  • Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Hi raccoon_rocket

    Sorry things have been so bad, it sounds like you've got a lot going on. It's great that you're taking some steps to make things better for yourself. It's understandable that it's pretty scary at the moment, but hopefully you'll find that as you get used to letting people know it gets a lot easier. Maybe the girl at work is just a bit further down the line in terms of dealing with those things so they don't feel so raw?

    If you think it might help, you could write down some notes about what you want to say to your GP before you get there to remind you. You could even give them the piece of paper instead if that felt better. If you explain that you find it really difficult to talk about they should understand.

    You could also try speaking to a helpline like Supportline or SANE's helpline - that might be a gentle start to getting used to talking about these things a bit more.

    GPs can be variable, but there are plenty out there, and it's your choice who you go back to see.

    This is a great step - really hope things go well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the replies, the Doc Ready site's quite handy in getting my worries in order.

    Wasn't as long or horrific as I had thought it would be. He said I needed to stop self-harming and the hallucinations need to stop or I'd be a sectioned, which is a pretty blunt but fair assessment. I've been referred to a consultant or something like that, so I should get a letter for some counselling. Also, some Sertaline Tablets to lift my mood. I guess the consultant will diagnose me if I have anything?

    Thank you again for your help.
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey racoon rocket,

    Just thought I'd check in and see how the last couple of weeks have been.
    Have you seen the consultant yet? Have the tablets been helping at all?

    Let us know how you're doing :)
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