First Time...

Former Member

OK, I'm quite a shy private person about this kind of subject so this is not easy for me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

Right, myself and my partnet are newly married (and both virgins) and we tried to have sex for the first time recently.

We were unable to penetrate as my partnet found it to be uncomfortable and sore.

Having spoken to a close friend about it he mentioned some kind of membrane that seals her or something?

Kan anyone clear this or offer some words of wisdom?

Thanks... -B-

Former Member

We have an article here that may be of some help: http://ned.thesite.org/sex/general_sex/painful_sex.html

Former Member

I read that... it makes sense... but I'm looking for clarification mainly on the membrane or mainly some words that'll make me able to talk to her about it and assure here that things are 'normal'? Is this normal for the first try?

Former Member

The membrane you are talking about is called the hymen, and it is mentioned in the article above. For more information, you should really be talking to a trained counsellor, such as someone fromm Brook Advisory Service: http://www.brook.org.uk/index2.htm

Former Member

I'm sure we have no serious enough problems...

I assume mastrubating her more in that area and trying to streach - by inserting/trying to insert finger(s) may help relieve this?

Also, should we do this untill we both feel comfortable enough with things down below for her before attempting penetration again?

After talking to her about it she said she does'nt want to try again... but I know it's her uncertainty about it - re above problem - than any underlying problems or not wanting to do it. I think she is also concerned as she works in the general practice that she would need to attend if she needed a doctor! - which i think may also be an underlying thought she may have. Am I making any sense here?

There must surely be other females with same uncertanties as my partner?

When it comes to penetration... would it perhaps be easier for her being on top?

Former Member

I have read that IF the hymen is intact it may bleed... what are we talking? a couple drops or worse?

Former Member

Try this site for the answers to your questions: www.likeitis.org.uk

Former Member

this seems 2 hav bcome a conversation btween u and karla doesnt it brian? wen me and my boyf tried 2 hav sex the 1st time i was a virgin and we couldnt bcos it was 2 painful 4 me. the next time we talked bout it b4 hand. talkin 2gether made me much more relaxed, and we had very comfortable, enjoyable sex. try talkin 2 your partner brian and tell her not 2 b nervous. also, wen the hymen is broken there is only gonna b a few drops of blood, not like a waterfall or nethin! hope this helps, love bobbi. XXXX

Former Member

brian,

I hope that the links and advice that Karla has given you provide you with some pointers in the right direction.

I feel that as Karla has suggested, you may need to seek further advice as a couple so you can overcome your specific difficulties and get answers tailored to your needs.

I'm going to close this thread now.

Regards,

Squinty. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/cool.gif"&gt;

[This message has been edited by Squinty (edited 29-10-2001).]