If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
I am crappy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm feeling shite and have done for some time. I've had a lot of crap go on for the past few months/years/decades. My condition is getting worse, I've spent a fair bit of time in bed and I don't seem to be able to keep myself up. All I see around me is reminders of how much of a cripple/how unloveable/how prattjsb/how lonely I am. I seem to mess everything up and everyone around me seems to have problems too. I seem to just attract people with issues - the last guy I went out with (mods can vouch for that), the creep who was harassing me, even my friends. I went on 11 dates in 6 months and had no second date. I've become good friends with the last guy I saw (who told me he wanted to be just friends within 5 mins of meeting) and its excruciating sometimes being around him and not telling him how I feel cos I'd rather have him as a friend than not at all. But nothing tastes right, music doesn't sound right, TV bores me, I constantly feel there's this huge void and I can't fill it. I now understand what people mean by you can't really love someone else until you really love yourself. But i feel almost apathetic towards myself - i feel totally unloveable. I can't do mindfulness enough to make me feel better. I'm hoping I'm going to get EMDR soon but you all know what NHS waiting times are like. I keep having these crashing lows where I just cry for hours and want to disappear. I said to a friend the only reason I don't do anything is because I know how much it hurts to be left behind.
What do I do? I'm not exactly at crisis point but I can't get help any sooner. I've told a CPN how I feel and was just told if I get to a point where I want to do something then to call them. But I need to sort myself out on my own. I hate these labels and psychobabble shit. But how???
What do I do? I'm not exactly at crisis point but I can't get help any sooner. I've told a CPN how I feel and was just told if I get to a point where I want to do something then to call them. But I need to sort myself out on my own. I hate these labels and psychobabble shit. But how???
0
Comments
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down. It sounds like everything's getting a bit overwhelming and I can understand how frustrating it must be going through the same stuff time after time for so long. NHS waiting lists and a CPN that will only come in when you've hit crisis point can't help either.
I really liked the article you linked to the other day about self care - lots of good stuff there. I imagine you've tried putting some of it into practice? How has it gone? Has anything helped?
If I remember correctly, a while back you mentioned that you've been trying to learn German. Have you ever tried exploring that as a way of meeting new people? There's a site called Conversation Exchange that links people wanting to learn new languages to those who speak them. I don't know where you live, but Skype, email etc. is always an option. Maybe worth a try?
Hope it gets easier
I have so many things I have on the go and I'm so rarely finishing anything because I have so little self belief anymore.
Sorry to hear you're feeling so angry and frustrated. Seems like everything is still just too much to deal with. The whole business with the tribunal must be really aggravating and being housebound really can't be helpful right now.
I hope it gets easier and that a solution to your mobility issue presents itself soon.
Hang in there
From reading your thread I can see how frustrating things are for you and how it makes you so angry including your mum being around and probably annoying you a lot. I have just read the quote underneath your thread, it's a really good quote where did you get it from? I'm all for quotes so I get interested in where they come from.
What will happen with your mobility scooter, can you get any support to get it fixed?
purple_rain
No support to get it fixed. Its burnt out really so not really much that can be done. I need to see if I can find a charity which will fund me a new one (£700) as I asked a few for funding for a second hand one and they said they would only fund a new one as I would get more years out of it. Most turned me down because I'm either too old (21 and under) or too young (50+). Theres one which will fund me but i need to see if I can get an OT to assess me and then see if theres a scooter they would recommend, then get a doctors letter and then get 2 quotes for the scooter. a lot of work! plus I need to write a convincing statement to go with it!
Spanner
Nothing seems to be going right. I just don't know how I'm going to move past it. I'm going to forever be bound to someone else driving me, I can't just wonder down to the park by myself or up to the pub. I feel so stuck!
Just thought I'd check in and see how it's going.
Have there been any developments or have you had any luck finding a solution to your mobility problem?
Keep us posted
I'm having a down day - feeling very sorry for myself and just want someone to curl up to but I'm feeling like no one wants to get close because of the disablity.
MR lot of hug to you *hug**hug* try see some funny thing on tv or internet..you feel good maybe..or read something nice..or music...wat cheer you up..do that.
Sorry...I not mean it like that