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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I slept with a guy, who was a friend at the weekend. I've had feelings for him, and although we don't see each other very often those feelings emerge each time I do. It was clear that it was going to be a one off thing at the time, but I wish I was seeing him again :( wah wah. And for people who know the extended, more entertaining version of the story shhhh.

    I had to take the morning after pill, I really hope that's partly to blame for me being an emotional wreck atm
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey yellowseahorse,

    How are you doing today? Is the CPN still off sick?

    It's tough when casual sex and feelings get tangled. Do you think there's no chance of something more in the future?

    Let us know how you're getting on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey JPick :wave:

    Assume CPN is still off sick, they said they'd get in touch when she's back.

    Feeling slightly better about this guy - I asked him outright if he was interested in anything more, and although he's not - he was nice about it and we're going to stick as friends. The real test will be when we see each other again but he lives in a different part of the country to me, so it won't be too often.

    Bit of a shame, but hoping I'll be over it soon :p
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Glad to hear you're feeling a little better about it :)
    The fact he responded nicely is good news - it must have taken lots of courage to talk to him about it. I think often not knowing where you stand can be really hard so although it's a shame, it's probably good that you've clarified things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm struggling. But that means nothing to anyone. Not really. None of my relationships last. With friends, with anyone. I don't have a place here. I don't fit in to the pattern like everybody else.

    I have the means and a place to end it. I'm close again :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went to the place today. I don't have anyone to talk to about all of this - not a single friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tried talking to a friend, totally backfired. I knew I don't have anybody.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No help no help :banghead:
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Are you okay?

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    No help no help :banghead:

    *hug*'s -What's going on? Why do you neeed held?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Same old. Nothing new.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't stand to be me. After each and every day I hate myself that little bit more and there's too much pain.

    I am happy sometimes. I was described as the life and soul of the party today. This makes people think I'm ok. But I rock - the more I go one way, the more I go back. It hurts too much. When I think about how unlikely it is that I'll ever get help with this, the more I know that I can't face being like this.

    I want to stay alive. I want to be better. I know I might not ever be 'cured' but I want life to hurt less. I know I have a choice about whether I live or not, but I feel like the choice is being made for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got an appointment with CPN next Tuesday. I'm doing quite badly. I just wish I had someone to sit with me so I'm not alone :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Decided to come off my meds.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Decided to talk to anyone about this - or just do it on your own?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seeing CPN tomorrow. I'll do it gradually. I've been having horrific dreams / am in fog till lunchtime / I'm on them for depression + sleep and they're no longer helping me sleep.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Didn't go that well. Really have given up and that means only one thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What happened yellow? Big *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hugs
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel so alone.

    And alienated. People are just waiting to tell me how I should feel (and what I shouldn't feel because it's wrong).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got no one to call. No friends. And the crisis team didn't help before.

    I don't want generic advice from a stranger.
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey YSH,

    Sorry to hear you've been feeling so alone. Has something happened or is it more general?
    It can be really patronising when people tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. When it comes to feelings, there are no shoulds, musts or have tos.

    We're always here to listen if you want to talk/vent/rant etc.

    hugs
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Had a big argument with my parents. Driven somewhere.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey ysh, sounds like a really difficult day.. let us know how you're doing?

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm fine.

    I feel like everyone is hiding something from me, and avoiding me because of it. People just seem uncomfortable around me. And like... I have sent maybe 3 texts in the last 2 days or so... and noone's replied - and they've been simple yes or no type questions. Like "would it help if I collected all the x from y?" I don't know what's wrong.

    I feel like I'm going mad, but then there are SO many signs, it doesn't feel like it can be in my head.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no friends here. The last time I got invited to do something (bar my housemate's party) was a BBQ back at start of term - first week of September. I spent September and October trying to organise various things - from drinks at the pub to visits to places and not one thing succeeded. People made their excuses - too much work to do / seeing other people / something already organised / too expensive etc. Some 'friends' come round here to play xbox and yet when it is round their house I don't get the invite. I've tried to put myself out there - even asking if I can tag along, but there only so much awkwardness and rejection I can take. I don't bother asking people anymore because I can't stand the rejection after I've tried so hard.

    I am so terrible to be around. I deserve to hurt and to be hurt. Thinking about dropping out of uni so I can leave here and find some cave to live in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really need to hurt myself :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :( what's up? Talk to us, we're here for you and we care a lot *hug*
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