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Dont know what to do!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi

this is a bit complicated but I would appreciate some advice.

About two weeks ago I split up with my girlfriend. We hadnt been together long and she was my first. Anyway she broke it off because she said it wasnt fair because she couldnt give me the relationship I need. The thing is I went to see her yesterday and we talked for ages. She said she still really likes me and admitted she wanted to kiss me and take me to bed. I did too but neither of us would do anything because we knew it wasnt right. To complicate matters she said the only reason she broke up is because Id said I wanted a relationship and she didnt and she didnt want to hurt me all the time. Im now kicking myself because I shouldntve said anything and we'd still be together. I was happy with that and still want the security of someones arms round me but should I ask her to try again or should I leave it? I want to try again but am afraid that I will want more than she can give again even though most of me doesnt want a relationship. Does this make sense? Also ive met another girl on net who Im gonna meet today and think I might have feelings for her but dont know if its just cos Im lonely and missing ex and the comfort or if its more-she feels somethin for me and I dont want to hurt her. What should I do? Help! Im so confused and frightened by it all. Part of me knows that gettin back with my ex is a bad idea because I will end up wantin more than she can give but part of me really wants to try because I feel like I destroyed it last time by not giving it a chance to just be-because I wanted more. What should I do? Should I tell my ex any of this? We are good friends and honest with each other but I dont know if tellin her is gonna make it awkward and I dont know if I should tell her. Please help.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ermmmm give it time! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tell her everything very simple tell her everything
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are both still attracted to each other and there isn't anyone else in the equation , then I would suggest going for it.

    You never know how it might turn out!

    Just try and take things a bit slower;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How did today go for you? Sometimes when you meet internet people they are not what you expected and you don't get on as well in reality. How did you and that girl get on.

    Sometimes it helps to think why you got together with someone in the first place it can help you decide if you can recreatre it. Me and my ex were friends for ages and we focused on what attracted us to each other (we'd both fancied the pants off each other from afar it turns out) and that helped us. On the other hand me and ex ex only got together when she had got me drunk
    I hadn't seriously looked at her before then. Coz we only got together then we didn't really have anything to recreate and I also resented it that she'd got me drunk to get me into bed to me thats a bit cowardly.

    Also now you have met this other girl do you fancy her in reality?cos if you do that could show that maybe your feelings for your ex aren't that strong. When I was with my ex sure I fancied film stars coz they are fantasys but I didn't really fancy anyone else obtainable. My mates say the same thing about their partners.

    I was in a real state after splittin with my ex - ended up in hospital for a few weeks (long story) but I'm coming round and am starting to enjoy being single. So thats another option.

    Last peice of advice - DO NOT REBOUND! either with your ex, this other girl or anyone else. It is possible to rebound with an ex (I've done it). The reason being that you probably feel lonely right now so it would be easy to try to get rid of that loneliness with anybody and you are probably seeing obnly the good things about your ex and not the things that irritated you.

    Hope it all turns out OK
    Sash
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    @ sasha.

    Thanks for advice. The trouble is I dont know any of the answers to the questions you asked. me and ex got together because she got me drunk, I hadnt really looked at her before but then Id hardly met her before! I dont know if we can recreate it, I tried suggesting it the other day when we met up but she didnt respond. Part of me knows that she wants to and part of me knows she doesnt. the thing is I know she doesnt because of me not because of her feelings. I feel like the only reason we arent together is because of me and how I felt. I wish I could talk to her properly and explain that ok part of me wants a relationship but the rest of me just wants comfort, that was all I ever wanted. I tried explaining that to her but all she said was that I should listen to the part that wants a relationship because thats the part thatll win in the end. i just wish Id given it a chance to just be, rather than wnating to turn it into something else. Is it worth asking her for that chance or will it destroy the fragile friendship we have? You see Im not sure we can just be friends because there is still a lot of attraction there!
    As for the person I met yesterday-I had a great time and think we could be really great friends. She fancies me I know and I think I could fancy her in the future but right now Im confused and dont want to hurt someone else. I just dont know what to do-wish I could talk to my ex again properly like we did the other night but her parents are staying with her so I cant-also is it a good idea to try to talk to her and explain everything or am i going to ruin it all? I just dont know what to do! Help basically, is there any hope for me and ex or should I just forget it? I want to try and see if I could be happy with what it was but is that selfish and ultimately hurtful for her because she doesnt want anything serious so she wouldnt mind i dont think but am i using her if i do that and if so thats wrong even if she knows thats what im doing. Oh Im so confused! I dont know!
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