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Experience and thoughts based on the TS article: "How Not to Cheat":
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Drunken kisses, fumbles in the bedroom, or even just a cheeky text may result in you being called a cheat! The few experiences I’ve know of people being cheated on normally results with them being heartbroken and questioning all the things they’ve ever done and all the things their partner has ever said. So why do we cheat if we know nothing good can come out of it?
I’ve been checking out the TS article on “how not to cheat” (http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/relationships/how-not-to-cheat-3490.html) and have secured my belief that there are various reasons people cheat. Dr Diana Iveson explains some people cheat because of lack of trust in a relationship, ““usually one partner doesn’t trust the other to be faithful and decides to get in their first” or “they may as well get on with what there always being accused of”. Other reasons in the TS article include feeling neglect in the relationship; not being ready to settle down; and the old age excuse of being drunken and disorderly.
But what if you haven’t cheated but feel awful anyway? Ever seen a gorgeous women or a man on the street that has made you turn your head? What about someone who seems to be there at the right moment, you’re feeling just a bit down and they come in full of excitement and you feel the sexual tension? Is that still cheating – well not really if it’s just a cheeky smile or a bit of teenage lust but if it gets to the point where you would rather spend time with them than with your partner it’s a sure fire way to know your either with the wrong person or you aren’t ready to ‘chose’ who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
But that’s just my view I’d love to hear from you. What do you class as cheating?; Do you think you can survive it? Why do people do it? Do you have any experiences you’d like to share?
I’ve been checking out the TS article on “how not to cheat” (http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/relationships/how-not-to-cheat-3490.html) and have secured my belief that there are various reasons people cheat. Dr Diana Iveson explains some people cheat because of lack of trust in a relationship, ““usually one partner doesn’t trust the other to be faithful and decides to get in their first” or “they may as well get on with what there always being accused of”. Other reasons in the TS article include feeling neglect in the relationship; not being ready to settle down; and the old age excuse of being drunken and disorderly.
But what if you haven’t cheated but feel awful anyway? Ever seen a gorgeous women or a man on the street that has made you turn your head? What about someone who seems to be there at the right moment, you’re feeling just a bit down and they come in full of excitement and you feel the sexual tension? Is that still cheating – well not really if it’s just a cheeky smile or a bit of teenage lust but if it gets to the point where you would rather spend time with them than with your partner it’s a sure fire way to know your either with the wrong person or you aren’t ready to ‘chose’ who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
But that’s just my view I’d love to hear from you. What do you class as cheating?; Do you think you can survive it? Why do people do it? Do you have any experiences you’d like to share?
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Comments
Obviously it would be nice to think that it’s always about deep care for the other person. But what about feeling guilty. Or paranoid about being caught. It’s a pretty good way to spoil a relationship, so there must be an element of self-preservation there too!
If you do cheat, is that because you don’t really care about the person you’re with enough? Is it a good enough excuse that you get caught up in the moment and it’s meaningless? Do you just feel too attracted to the other person to stop, even though you care about your partner?
Personally I think that however difficult it might be, if it’s really important to you, you can stay out of other people’s beds. I think most of us have reasons why we would like to mess around every now and then, so maybe we could find out some more by asking “Why Don’t You Cheat?”.
It's a good question
Considering around 50% of people have cheated in their current relationship (when surveyed) I can't wait help but think it's part of human nature to be tempted.
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