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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    WhiteLillies wrote: »
    I cant post properly at the moment as im at work but I've requested a board of consideration form from the uni and given them an outline of why I want one and explained how much I've done. I hadnt considered the SU...I will give them a call too...thanks :)
    Will reply properly later xx

    The SU will usually be the ones well-versed in complaints and stuff. They will definitely ask you for a detailed timeline, so if you can write down times of emails, etc., whilst they're fresh in your mind then all the better :) Save everything relevant, just in case.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You really are a super efficient young lady.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, so I have print screened all emails sent to and from me and the uni people with times and dates as supporting evidence alongside my board of consideration form. In doing so, I have realised the same day my unit tutor emailed me telling me she had been off sick and would look at my assignment when she could, she posted to the VLE the very support document that has caused all these issues but didn't tell me in my email that this document was available.

    In terms of work, all the feedback was positive so that's good.

    Been a tough few weeks and just when things start to look up I feel like I get knocked back down again and I'm starting to feel like I don't have the energy left to keep fighting all of this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Congratulations. Very productive.

    Give yourself a tea and biscuit break.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Both essays submitted and board of consideration form with evidence sent. I'm having a day off before I even think about my exam!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow! That is an amazing achievement! Well done you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Congratulations girl!

    Hope you either do something amazing with your day off.

    Or do something thoroughly satisfying. Like spend the whole thing reading a trashy book/one you've always wanted to. Or watching daytime TV. Or sleeping.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks :) The marketing essay is hanging over me and preventing me from feeling like I've achieved something but heyho.

    My plan now is to: have a shower, continue reading a book I started at the weekend (this was before I was aware of the support document/essay issue!), go shopping for some final holiday bits, pack (or at least sort what I want to take!), eat(!) and generally do nothing productive in terms of uni!

    I was also very self-restrained this morning by turning off my 5am alarm and texting my manager to say I wouldn't work today and was taking the day off as lieu time to have a rest :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wwwwwwwwwoooooooo hhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooo
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done lady!! Very proud of you :) Especially for taking some well deserved rest time!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :) I could just go to sleep now...my textbook I ordered yesterday arrived today so I can revise while I'm away...I haven't started revising today but I have marked the relevant pages with post it notes!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really miss him...having time to think is so annoying...i guess i dont feel angry/frustrated/sad/want to hurt myself. Now i just feel confused and even disappointed(!?) and as if I have no energy anymore. I know this will never happen but in an ideal world I want just two weeks with no contact with anyone other than a counsellor to talk through all the jumbled up stuff in my head, no time concept, just some good books and DVDs and a complete rest because I feel like grief (is it even still grief at this point?) and uni/work have demanded so much that I am literally worn out. I've even deactivated my facebook account because it just felt like extra background noise that I really didnt need.
    Also, when I feel like this I remember a time when I was at college and I became so exhausted I couldnt function. I remember being sent home from work and to stop me trying to do more college work, my Dad took me and my Mum for a drive so I would sleep in the car...I slept literally for the rest of the weekend after we got home. He didnt lecture me or make me feel stupid. He just did what was best for me then. I wish he was here now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Massive hugs to you girly.

    Do you know how mature that post is? How self aware you obviously are? How much you've learnt.

    What are your plans for your holiday? Can you do for yourself what your dad did for you in the past? Go on your holiday and have a proper break. No revising for at least the first 2 whole days. That's two WHOLE days after you get there. Give yourself some relaxing time, and rest time.

    Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest it just felt like another rant which is all I seem to be using this for at the moment! I think I've always been self-aware but I'm really self-conscious with it...I don't think thats always a bad thing though?

    Its just a week in a Haven. I have no idea where it is or what we are doing but will be good to have a change of scenery :)

    I will try to do what he did. I think yesterday I proved to myself I could actually say no and my office didnt fall apart without me. I think 2 whole days is reasonable. My plan was to take it but only to do any if we had some rainy/lazy days not doing anything. Otherwise it was going to be a bit of bedtime reading...at least that way it would help me sleep ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aye, sweetheart, it's still grief. another stage in the cycle and a confusing one at that, but still a different step to where you were before. be very kind to yourself, take the rest as you've been running on adrenaline. I echo SM- you stand yourself in very good stead by demonstrating how self-aware you are. maybe try a diary/letters while you're away to kickstart some of the counselling process and take it out of your head? xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats a good idea :) I feel sick and like crap...been teary all day :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't beat yourself up about being teary. It's only human. Try and let yourself be a bit teary if that's how you feel, read a book you're interested in, just enjoy the scenery.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to be fair but my manager and store manager keep telling me they are concerned about me so then I panic and make myself ill worrying. Im also feeling tetchy because of this hol...when i left today my manager was like you can call me whenever I dont care if its 3am..because i was in a state I couldnt really say much so i text her 3 separate msgs when i got back with some reasons behind why im like i am right now and shes still not responded...which in my paranoid state is making me feel like "out of sight, out of mind". I know its just me being stupid and shes busy but i just feel a bit lost and another friend text me and i replied saying i wanted to relocate as I've had it with this area and she didnt respond which im guessing means i've annoyed her too. I dunno...im already counting down the days until i can go back to work. Having time away from one of my key distractions/support network when i feel like this is not good for me :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about other distractions? Reading, checking out the scenery? (Even, shhh, revision if you think it will help).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've started reading a really good book, im going shopping today and i will start revision at some stage too...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Argh I dont want to go on hol. I need to get out of this house, out of this area and away from all the crap. I've had it with the lot of them!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go on holiday. Use it to sleep and revise in peace if nothing else
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But its the same people im going on hol with that I want to escape from. 11 more sleeps until I can go back to work...just 11 more....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Made myself sick worrying...no sleep last night and now I have to drive for 5 hours...just 9 more sleeps!
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hope your okay lovely, remember I am always here if you need a chat *hug*

    Stay strong :heart:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've discovered I have a sort of talent when it comes to landscape photography! Not my opinion but those of my family :) May have found myself a new hobby and the sea air is definitely clearing my head/helping my mood...I normally live near the coast so I think I need to make a conscious effort to start going for walks there when things are bad...and even taking a camera with me...
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sounds goood :)

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Want to go home now. Had a good break but worrying about my exam. Dont want to go back to work because before I left I was a mess and I'm worried about seeing them all again. Wish I could just disappear and start again somewhere else as someone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi WhiteLillies :wave:

    Are you still on your holiday? Where have you gone?

    You said you don't want to go back to work because your worried about seeing them again but they may not think about what you were like before you went on holiday and they may ask you all about your holiday and will be intrigued to see if they have any photos :)

    purple_rain
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeahh I go home tomorrow...we went to Cleethorpes for a week...

    The thing is...they thought a break was what I needed...but I still feel like I did before I went away...if not worse because ive had time to think and i have done no work for the exam I have in just over a week...

    I cant post properly right now but thinking has left me feeling pretty confused and im feeling really lost...
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