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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ice cream is most definitely the answer to any problem :yes: It must be with the amount I've consumed in the last 4 weeks!

    Is it worth going back to basics and writing down everything that you will need to do between now and when you move? Then you can tick things off as you have done them which might help make you feel more in control of the situation/what to expect?

    In terms of being scared - I can only say that is perfectly normal/understandable and I would imagine the adrenaline will help you get through the short-term. Have you considered talking to someone who currently works for the company/in your new role or similar role and asked about their experience of working for the company/what to expect, that sort of thing? And maybe ask the new company if you could spend a day with them to get a "feel" for what you will be expected to do, etc?

    Sorry if this is all useless advice...I was a mess when I was offered a new job/resigned from my old one and then decided not to do it lol!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I've got a list. Currently there just happens to be a lot to do on it with relatively little progress being made so far. There's a lot that's still up in the air though because I'm going to temporary accomodation until can sort something permanent out.

    Job wise, I'm probably making a fuss over nothing. It's the same company I work for currently, just a new role with a different part of the business at a different location. I've worked at the office I'm going to before, so know a few people around the place but there are >1000 people there so don't know any of my new team.

    Looking forward to it overall - but going to be a bit of a nightmare in the short term.

    Glad we agree on the ice cream!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I saw your PM before I saw this...I apologise my response to your PM wasn't much help...

    Something that we often tell our colleagues who have been given promotion; when you are promoted its of advantage to work with people you don't know because you can make the step change into the higher level role without having to constantly fight against peoples perception of you in a more junior role :) I appreciate its still scary though!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Having a crap evening. I feel horrible which is partly in response to my weight but thats not something ive talked much about on here and the whole subject terrifies me and makes me feel like someone is playing mind games with me which is stupid, irrational and makes no sense to anyone because its only really me that knows the full story about my weight issue. I feel panicky, paranoid, on edge and tense but no idea why. I have a packet of diazepam sat here looking at me...i want to take the lot :'( I keep going out in my car and estimating my chances of dying should I just happen to swerve off the dual carriageway. I feel so out of control. Its stupid. Im stupid
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are definitely not stupid young lady.

    You have just given me some truly excellent advice. Something I hadn't thought of previously that has acted as a massive reassurance as to the benefits of moving to something completely new in starting my new role rather than staying where I've got the background knowledge.

    Big hugs. Hope you got some sleep last night. Fresh eyes onto today?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have just given me some truly excellent advice. Something I hadn't thought of previously that has acted as a massive reassurance as to the benefits of moving to something completely new in starting my new role rather than staying where I've got the background knowledge.

    Glad it was of some help/reassurance
    Fresh eyes onto today?

    The weight thing is still a massive issue and is really bugging me...other than that I had 9 hours sleep and am seeing Despicable Me 2 tonight so have some motivation to keep going with the essay - I did 1000 words in the end yesterday but still not certain on what I've written...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll have to report back on Despicable Me 2. Haven't seen it yet.

    Sounds like you're making good progress on the essay. If you get something down - then you've got something to edit and work with which is always a better place to be in than having to face the blank document.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll have to report back on Despicable Me 2. Haven't seen it yet.

    It's awesome, ideal for a total switch-off from revision :)

    Just 'cos.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahahahaha I :heart: it!!!!! What a great video!

    SM - I will let you know what its like :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is awesome, definitely a good plan to go see!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also managed to find "Side Effects" on DVD in Tesco...have wanted to see it since May!!! Promised myself I can watch it on Sunday "IF" my essay is finished - no pressure!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was good :) not as much of a distraction as I had hoped but the evenings are always worse at the moment.

    A friend also text me this evening. This time last year I had a meltdown in front of her and said I couldnt cope. She put a reminder in her phone to ask me how things were a year later. What am I supposed to say when everyone just expects things to be perfect? I'm such a failure and in 6 days time, it would have been 18 mnths since I made the biggest mistake of my life and failed him when he most needed help. I should just disappear because it wouldnt matter to anyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad to hear it was good. Will take the recommendation and put it on the list.

    You are definitely not a failure. You've achieved a massive amount in the last year. Hugely so. Surprise, Surprise, you haven't managed to magic up a completely perfect life in 365 days - but then unfortunately I believe you are actually only human. So that wasn't really ever going to happen.

    By the sounds of everything you've said over the while on here, your dad was ill, really ill. Given the problems he was evidently having with his mental health, you could never have fixed everything. You might think that on one particular day you could have done something slightly differently, but may well have only changed the timings rather than the overall plot. It's hard to understand, and my uncle was a different story to your dad but I think there are probably some similarities. My granma put a note on one of the funeral flowers 'Plain sailing from now on'. It's really difficult for everyone who's left behind, but at least for your dad everything else is simpler now.

    Anniversaries are hard - but you will get to one you don't notice nearly so much. Look at what you've achieved so far. Got offered a job, moved house, calmed me down over my job panic.

    You're one impressive young lady.

    xx
  • ReenaReena Posts: 1,375 Wise Owl
    You're one impressive young lady.

    I second that.
    Don't disappear because it would matter.

    Everyone might expect things to be perfect, but that's their opinion. If they have never been through what you have how can they understand how it feels? And even if the have, we all suffer differently, and it can take years to get back to some normality. It's not the same but something that happened when I was a kid affected me for years. It was only in the past 3 or 4 years that the incident was made less distressing -with help from my counselor.

    Don't worry about what they expect, if you're not happy you don't have to pretend to be just for everyone else. Take your time getting sorted, go at your own pace. -I just wanted you to know that.
    Hope you are feeling a bit better today. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you both for your support/encouragement. I don't feel very impressive.

    Had an awful day. Lost it at work and threatened to quit...which wasnt out of the blue...I had a run in with a manager who was threatening/intimidating me. I hate my Dad for the fact he took the easy way out and has left me feeling how he was. I've gone from being hysterical to being angry to having a panic attack and back to teary in about 10 hours today!

    I know its all stupid and i know i sound pathetic but just cant deal with any of this anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really not in a good place tonight. I can't even describe the feeling but it's not good. Don't know what to do. I'm shaking and it feels like I can't catch up with the thoughts that are racing in my head. Just want to hurt myself to make it stop...
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Stay strong lovely. Pm? ♡
    Keep posting it could help. Do you have anyone around you?

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I went to bed for an early night. I feel really ill this morning. And I have to face 12 hours of work which makes me feel anxious after yesterday.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Did you get much sleep? Hope work is okay. ♡

    Sent from my GT-I8190 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you get much sleep?

    Not really. 12 hours I worked...had 2 panic attacks, been back and forth between tearful and angry...still not finished my 2nd essay. Im just not in a good place!
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    It sounds like you need a break and a rest. When is the 2nd essay due? I know work offers distractions, but it could also make you run down, and that wont help you in the long run.

    Always here, I am gonna pm you now :) x
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Both have a deadline of 13th August, the latest I can submit is this coming friday; however, ideally i want to have them in by the tuesday because of plans to go away. Its been horrendous because my mgr has been away for 3 weeks but she is back on monday. Will check my inbox :) x
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    ah no ways. I guess it's good to be organised though. Do you have a lot more to do on it?

    Having plans to go away could help you, stay focused I guess. <3
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have just over half of the main essay plus layout, appendix, references. Then i need to proof read both essays and put them through our online system to make sure they dont show up as being plagurised from poor referencing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    4 weeks later and I've written 2 essays equal to 12,000 words (both still need proof reading/references checked); worked 40+ hour weeks / 10-12 hour days managing a dept and had a personal thank you from my store mgr and senior management team for everything I've done...all i feel right now is a mixture of relief and sheer panic for when my manager comes back tomorrow and realises i didnt do everything she asked because instead other things happened which took priority but have no evidence to show what i really did even though my store mgr knows what I did. Im also sad that shes back because ive loved working so closely with the senior team and its not like that when she is there...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol and just like that I get it wrong again. My 8000 word essay is wrong. My access to my uni's VLE was suspended...i got it back this week and ive now found the support document. So thats 2.5 weeks wasted because they screwed up. I sent emails requesting all info to be sent to me and that little document seemed to be unimportant enough not to include it in an email and I dont have time to now redo it. Angry is not the word. Just not meant to get this degree obviously.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mitigation my love - if you can prove they screwed up, then it's their fault for not sending it. Emails have timestamps etc.

    You have worked incredibly hard and through immensely difficult stress. Your manager will realise this - and as it's now today I hope hasn't done too badly? She'll understand that priorities change. Perhaps you can tell her what parts of the experience you've enjoyed and perhaps this will inform your further working experience?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Purple_roo wrote: »
    Mitigation my love - if you can prove they screwed up, then it's their fault for not sending it. Emails have timestamps etc.

    :yes: They will almost certainly be able to do something about that. You shouldn't have been shut out of VLE whilst working on coursework, either, that's not on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to echo what the others have said.

    I know your tutor doesn't have a track record for being the most responsive in the world, but this is probably a good time to drop them a note. Attach your essay in the state it's currently in to show how far you've got with it and how much work has gone into something that they've since changed the requirements on.

    Do you have a students union of some kind? Getting in touch with them might be useful as well.

    Look at how much you've achieved. If the store manager is pleased then they can back you up if required to your manager. Sounds like you've had some pretty high praise. And if you';ve liked the work then that's great - one to put on the list of aims for the future once you get some breathing space.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant post properly at the moment as im at work but I've requested a board of consideration form from the uni and given them an outline of why I want one and explained how much I've done. I hadnt considered the SU...I will give them a call too...thanks :)
    Will reply properly later xx
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