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What comes after the honeymoon period?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:wave:

So the Daily Mail are saying that:
  • Around 40% of couples who have been together for four years only have sex a few times a month
  • Of those who have been together for 15 years, 15 per cent only have sex a few times a year

Researchers found that in the first 12 month 'honeymoon' period 15 per cent of couples have sex every day, compared to just 5 per cent of other couples.

What do you think? Sex every day in the honeymoon period?

What happens after the honeymoon period? Does it really matter how much sex you have?

Full article here

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    Danny!Danny! Deactivated Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    I think a few times a month is fine if that's all you both want, but if one or both of you aren't happy with that it can be a big strain on a relationship. And, in my opinion, a lot of wasted opportunities!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marriage is not so easy. It is quiet difficult to have long a happy marriage especially if you think that marriage is all about sex. You get used to your partner and sex becomes not the main important part of your relationship. Also people can change.
    It would be better not to have so idealistic view of marriage. Don't expect love,sex,romance and excitement all the time. People have to work on their relationship and make it work.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and it's so true that the first 6 months you have loads of sex, can't keep your hands off each other. But then it kind of dies down, and reaches a reasonable level where it's sustainable.

    I've split up from him now, we didn't have sex that much towards the end so I dread to think what it'd be like after 20 years together!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I found things go well for the first 2 years then it all fucks up. For me anyway... :/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    What happens after the honeymoon period?

    Morning sickness :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You get the honeymoon period then it settles down for a bit as you have other hobbies other than sex.

    And then after another year or two, you're back to having sex every day as you're "trying for a baby".
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I found things go well for the first 2 years then it all fucks up. For me anyway... :/

    *hug* does there seem to be a pattern to this, or do you feel it's been pretty different in each relationship?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, it all comes down to communication breakdown, or me letting myself become totally disempowered and being walked over.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No more hankypanky thats for sure! As my friend who was married a year ago, Would say!. Afterwards you stop trying to look good, And being 'at it like rabbits' You just, slob around the place, In your underwear, Make up everywhere, Not caring..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you guys seen our how much sex is normal article? Worth a look :yes:

    Few interesting points..

    Arctic - 'you have other hobbies other than sex' - do you think after a while people start to do their own thing again a bit more? I've often seen that lead to arguments.. it's a tricky adjustment sometimes..

    MissRiot - you mentioned feeling disempowerd.. power struggles often happen after the honeymoon period - I wonder how you could prevent this from happening in the future?

    Vipsa - you mentioned working at relatioships - how much is a good amount of work do you think before it's too much. What sort of things do you do to work at a relationship?

    Be interested to hear your thoughts :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think having your own hobbies and having separate lives can only be good for a relationship. The best relationship I've had is the one where we are two separate independent people - as people should always strive to be. The moment you start living somebody else's life is the moment trouble will start. You've lost a part of yourself, or you have forced (intentionally or not) somebody else to do the same and I imagine that would cause a lot of resentment, whether you are even conscious of it or not.

    I live with my partner of about 8 years or so keeping things separate keeps us both happy. He has his friends, I have mine, we very rarely ever mix. He has his hobbies, I have my hobbies. He has his tv show, me, mine (though I have convinced him to come to the darkside of cartoons). Nobody has to "ask" if they can go out (though I do ask for common curtousy of mentioning if you have plans in advance in case I had a dinner already started). He has man date nights, I have lady nights, we don't have to consult eachother. I've gotten into many o conversations about this, especially at bars when some of my friends have found companions for the night.

    You're boyfriend doesn't mind you're out? You didn't even ask him? You don't know what he is doing tonight? No, and I'd leave the person in a heartbeat who dared tried to do it any other way!

    As for the lack of sex - I think the post honeymoon comfortable stage plays a big roll. Nothing dries up a lady like continually finding nail clippings on the night stand and q-tips that have missed the bin :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Been with her for 4 years, still in our 'honeymoon period' - I guess if you find the right person then that's how it goes...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think moving in together changes perceptions as much as anything. In the early days you screw every time you meet, but that might only be once or twice a week. Moving in together means you're always together so you don't spend every night screwing. It feels like you're doing it less but you're not.

    I agree with Manda too. You do settle into a routine, you do go back to associating with your own friends, arguments about the laundry do get in the way. But I also agree with Glenn, in a strong relationship it isn't an issue, you reach a balance you love.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never left the honeymoon period with my last longer term boyfriend. We had sex every day we were with each other.
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