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Feeling harassed

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Volunteering
Theres a guy at work who i used to get on well with but im starting to feel really harassed by him.

It used to just be that there was the occassional 'thats what she said' joke between everybody but thats only funny probably the first... two times. Now its all the time, usually only to me and I cant feel like i cant say anything without him turning it into anything sexual. There'll also be comments about me, for example somebody spilt some milk the over day which went all up the back of legs and he'll say stuff like 'want me to get that for you'. Nothing overtly sexual but its all the time.

I dont give any signals to encourage it, i dont make any innuendos or even encourage his comments about me i just ignore them but he's not getting the hint.

As we're both being trained as assistant managers we'll have to be working alot together so i dont want things to be awkward. During any other time when he;s not saying stuff like that everythings fine, i dont feel awkward or uncomfortable being alone with him. I know if he tried anything i could keep him off, not that i think he's got the balls to. I also dont want to bring our manager into it unless i have to so im thinking of just sending a polite text asking him to back off. Other than only being slightly uncomfortable its fucking annoying as well and im starting to dread working with him and having to dodge all the sexual suggestions

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would comment on it when he does it. Something like, "You know, that's kinda annoying when you do that". Then he knows exactly which behaviour you're uncomfortable with rather than an out of the blue text.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just say 'Ok it's getting boring now' or something. If he carries on maybe have a word with your superiors. A guy I used to work with was getting really overtly sexual and annoying to me, to the point he was slapping my bum and grabbing my hair, which was awkward because he was one of my supervisors. In the end I complained to another supervisor who wasn't impressed and I'm sure he had words because it stopped after that. Though he never told me he had words.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I'm totally inexperienced here, but it sounds like he may be trying to flirt and not realising that you're not interested. Keep that in mind, it doesn't have to be malicious.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, i realise its not malicious at all, i know he fancies me and is really rubbish at flirting its just very annoying and slightly awkward when i know that others have noticed. With the exception of him and the manager, the rest of the team is about 10 out of 12 female
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sent him a text saying how I felt a d that didn't wanna mention it a work unless I had to and his reply seemed pretty embarrassed and genuinely sorry. Don't have to work with him again til Sunday so we'll see how things are and then obviously if it hasn't quietened down ill have to have to being the manager into it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done for saying something, it can't have been easy. I'm glad to hear his reaction was apologetic rather than defensive, that's a good sign.. all the best for Sunday, let us know how it goes :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How's it been since you last posted Lexi? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well it was awkward at first, he did stop and hasn't carried on but was in a bit of a mood with me for a few days. I don't really care though, he has extreme mood swings about the smallest things. Things are ok now, just been chatting normally and keeping it lighthearted so overall good :)
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