Hubbys constant need for sex turns me off......

Former Member

Long story short as possible. Me & Husband been together for almost 13 years, married for 10 of those years. I have had health issues, depression and hormones being the main two. After 5 years of a bad dry spell with sex I am finally getting my sexdrive back again, problem now is that since we have resumed having it on a fairly regular basis since April/May 2013 now he wants it all the time. It is either hey can I have a quick hand job if you dont feel like sex tonight? and this is every day. I finally told him last night that his constant need takes the fun and spontaneity out of the relationship and makes me not want to do anything, now he's pissed and got his feelings hurt. I feel bad about this but I cannot help the way it makes me feel. any advice from anyone out there? I am at a loss as to what to do and it brings back my anxiety and stress that use to be there in the past.

Former Member

sorry to hear that

Here's some links that might help u

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/depression

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/anxietyandstress

Hope this helps

Former Member

Hi there,

here are a few more appropriate links for you: http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/couples/relationshipissues/mismatchedsexdrives
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/couples/lifeasacouple/shakeupyoursexlife
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/couples/lifeasacouple/giveandtakesex

Obviously your partner can't expect you to be "in the mood" all the time, and he needs to appreciate that. If he's getting pissed off because you don't want to do things every single day then that's his problem. He's being unfair and unreasonable. Maybe it might be worth laying one evening aside a week, as it says in the final link, and have a special night together? If it was a bit more romantic maybe it'd make you feel more in the mood, and also it might leave him "satisfied" for longer if you spend a romantic/sexual evening together.

You might find some ideas on here: http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/tips/ hopefully you can access the British site in America, there is an American version as well but I don't know if the content is similar or not.

It sounds like you guys have been through a lot together, and you're obviously a strong couple but he is asking for an unfair amount of attention!! Gently explain to him again that you don't feel up to it every day, and every now and then have a nice evening together to try and put the "spark" back into the bedroom!