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Relapse-(May trigger).

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
this is probably going to be a ranty thread of nothing but me sounding like a rediculous idiot.

I recently moved out of my friends house into another hostel, this time we're expected (and I prefer) to cook for ourselves as my last one the meals where provided. I prefer to cook for myself anyways. but I've noticed since I moved out (3 weeks ago) my eating disorder has become incredibly worse, to the point where I'm having (including drinks) less than 200 calories a day and feeling constantly sick, dizzy. I find it really hard to eat. I'll pick up something in shops. See the calories and if they're high I'll put them back. high is more than 200. and if I do, for example having a bit of salad. I end up crying.

I think the staff are aware of what I'm doing, I even told a staff I suffered with anorexia before, as she asked how I became anemic. and she asked how much I'd eaten on that day,which my response was "an apple". I know the staff on the prince's trust are aware something is going on, as we'll be on course from 10am-3pm doing highly active things and they go "you not going to have some lunch" i just shake my head.

Urgh.stupid me. again.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Emmalee *hug*

    Sometimes a good rant is important. Just to get it all out there.

    Even seeing your thoughts written down can give you a bit of perspective.

    Hopefully your settling in to the new hostel well. Have you been assigned a support worker at the hostel or anything like that, or will you have a support plan?

    It sounds like your able to talk to the staff a bit at the very least.

    It might be an idea to talk things through with them, to at least let them know whats going on your end... If anything it might discourage them from pushing too much onto you, if you guys have communal meals or anything.

    Alternatively, if your eating that amount of calories a day, will be impacting on your physical health (I know you are aware of this and I don't mean to come across as too preachy). However it might be an idea to talk it over with your GP or someone else that you trust.

    I'm sure people have linked you to the Eating Disorder section on theSite before, but have you seen the info they have on b-eat organisation? They have a helpline with a call back service that might be able to offer some more specific guidance and support.

    I've linked to both below.

    http://www.b-eat.co.uk/about-beat/about-us/contact-us/

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/eatingdisorders

    Let us know how today has been for you.

    Phil
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Haven't got much in the way of practical advice, but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.
    I had some issues with eating, I think it was a lot to do with self harm, I was causing myself physical pain and felt I deserved it. Although my diet still isn't that good, it is a lot better now. I have my 3 meals a day, they may not be healthy but at least I enjoy eating again.

    You're not stupid, you just slipped. It took me a long time to get myself into the habit of eating 3 meals again, perhaps because I was still dealing with my depression.
    Like Phil said, let us know how you're doing, here if you need us. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your responses, I'm on a very slow computer in a shared area so I'm going to keep this short and send a more lengthy reply probably soon.

    I've moved drs (again) and I'll be going there soon as ive run out of medication, so when I see this new one, I'll be telling (hopefully) about this...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's really good.

    I know you recognise this, but I think it bears repeating: if your calorie intake is that low you should try not to feet involved in high-energy activities if you can avoid it.

    Take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I generally do really high energy activities often, like rock climbing, and such and such...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My keyworker has guessed...Have to do a food diary. Told her I can easily just lie..
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    Emmalee wrote: »
    My keyworker has guessed...Have to do a food diary. Told her I can easily just lie..

    Hello Emmalee,

    Is their any point in lying though? I guess it's about weighing out the pros and cons and then taking the route which would be most beneficial to recovery, if you wanted to take that route. How do you feel about doing a food diary?

    Best wishes,
    Angel
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