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Help!My relationship with my mum is going worse?:(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay so I really don't know how much I can take anymore.I mean I really do love my mum but I just hate how we are constantly arguing.What she says really hurts me like she may say things like 'I wish I strangled you when you were born or I wish I never had a daughter':'( She starts arguments for the littlest reasons and I understand sometimes when she's mad at me and I apologise but most times it's for the most stupidest reasons!Like yesterday we had a family dinner and I happened to wear a dress which was sleeveless and she completely embarrassed me in front of the family calling me a slag and stuff and I got so angry I told her to **** off!I know I shouldn't have but I get such a bad temper I can't control.She never let's me feel comfortable!

I feel like I can't be myself in front of other people if she's around cause I can see her watching my every moves and we would come home and she would start!She says things that aren't even true and completely puts me down!We have been through a lot and I have always supported my mum.I hope to make her proud someday and get good grades at school,I really do but she seems to forget all Ive done for her and says I've done nothing for her etc.

My dad was violent towards my mum and I would always protect her.One day I had enough and I called the police because I couldn't stand to see her hurt anymore.This has affected me so badly but she seems to think it hasn't.

Theres so much stuff she doesn't know about my dad and if I told her it would hurt her so I decided not to.She says I'm exactly like my dad but I'm not!I will never be like my dad!:'( My dad still lives with us as she decided to forgive him but I don't understand why.My mum had never had a Job and hardly comes out from the house so I just think maybe she's just tired being at home all day.I told her she should go out for a bit and maybe start her driving since I'm doing it aswell and maybe I could help her but she doesn't want to.I hate how she tells everyone I'm the bad one but I'm not!I've done nothing but protect her!She keeps me in the house like a prisoner and she says Im a no good **** and that I show off in front of people!

I hate the things she says!Like me and my cousin are really close and she's like I'm trying to impress him!Like how?!He was at the dinner aswell.My dad used to cheat on my mum with my cousin so I think that's why she's saying that.Sometimes I just want to die!Seriously this is how I feel like.Yes I do swear at her and call her names but she brings out the bad side of me which I don't like.That's not me.Im usually a friendly person but with my mum I'm totally different.Shes really abusive and it's just making me depressed!

One of my neighbours came over today and shouted at me cause my mum told her some stuff about me.I don't see what I've done wrong?!Yeah sometimes I understand when she shouts at me but for a stupid reason like this!I won't tolerate it!what can I do?I hate this!:'(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey,

    sorry to hear about what ur going thew. thats wrong for ur next-door neighbours shouting at u. they shouldnt be shouting at u at all. i think u need to tell someone beause u SHOULDNT have to go threw this . have u tryed talking to ur mum or dad about it. they shouldnt be watching u niver.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How old are you? It doesn't sound healthy being in that house.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey, Nataliaa

    i know exactly what your going through... im here if u wanna talk.

    can i ask how old are you?

    Best Wishes
    MrsMcelderry
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Nataliaa

    It was really brave of you to come on here and open up like that - I hope that writing it all down has helped a little?

    Your relationship with your mum sounds very complex and difficult. You say you've been there for her and helped support her through the domestic violence from your dad, and yet she still treats you badly. And it can't be easy for you to continue living with your dad after everything that's happened.

    From the way you describe your mum's life, it sounds like she is quite isolated. Perhaps she has become withdrawn over the years - and bottling up her emotions and physically staying inside all the time must have an effect on her mental health. It may be that she is taking out all her problems on you - and perhaps she sees you going out with your cousin etc and realises what she's missing?

    Of course, this is no excuse for her behaviour, but it may help a little if you can see it from her point of view?

    Like others have said though, it doesn't sound like a very safe household and you definitely deserve to feel more secure and supported than you are right now. Have you ever spoken to a teacher, doctor or friend about what's happening? Also, if you are under 16 then you could contact Childline - they have some great services and you don't have to speak over the phone if you don't want to.

    We also run regular support chat sessions here on TheSite which many users find really helpful - perhaps you could join one to see if you like it?

    Do stick around and keep posting to tell us how you're doing
    Spanner *hug**hug*
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