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Auntie talking about abuse

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My auntie just told me about the abuse she and my mum suffered at the hands of my grandma.

I'm finding it a bit difficult to take it all in at the moment. I was abused as a child and it's bringing back bad memories.

I'm also petrified that abuse obviously runs in my family and I'm surely going to end up doing the same myself.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    betsy wrote: »

    I'm also petrified that abuse obviously runs in my family and I'm surely going to end up doing the same myself.

    It isn't genetic, and it's only learned behaviour if the person on the receiving end thinks it is normal. You don't, you recognise that what has happened to you and your mum was awful and shouldn't be repeated, and coming here and asking about it because you're worried is evidence in of itself that you don't want the past to repeat itself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Betsy

    I'm sorry to hear about your past - and that your aunty and mum have bad memories of abuse too *hug*

    You say that that this is hard for you to take in, which is totally understandable - it's not nice news to hear what has happened, and it must be even harder given your past.

    I wondered if you have spoken to anyone in your family about what happened to you? Maybe now that your aunt has opened up you could talk to her and support one another?

    Also, if the thoughts of 'cycles of abuse' are really worrying you then it may be a good idea to talk things through with a counsellor who can help you explore these feelings.

    If this all sounds a bit much then you could start with a smaller step of perhaps calling a helpline. NAPAC is the National Association for People Abused in Childhood and they have a helpline offering support and advice. RASAC is the Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre, which runs a helpline for people dealing with sexual abuse - you can call them on 0808 802 9999.

    Take care :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks both. I just feel completely lost about what to do/say. Everytime I think about it, it brings back memories to me, but I'm so angry that people would do something so bad to my family. Even though what they did was bad. Now I understand more, I can't feel as bad about what happened to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NAPAC are great btw. I've called them many a time myself.

    I was abused, but I know that I learnt some horrible behaviours. But being aware of it is more than half the battle, once you are aware of it you can choose to go with it or change. You have the power to make the decision! :)
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