Have your say on new styling changes by voting on this poll. Don't miss out!

About a thread I can't make

Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up?Posts: 16,688
(I couldn't decide where this thread should go, feel free to move it if there's a place it would fit better)

There's something that's been on my mind for a while now, and I'd like to ask people here for their opinions on it. However, there's one person on this forum that I think may be affected negatively by that thought and so I don't want to describe it in case they read it. But it keeps bothering me.

(I can't say exactly why it would affect them for the same reason I can't make the thread. I can say though that it's not because I'd be talking about them.)

I've thought of some things I could maybe do about this dilemma, but nothing seems good enough.

I did ask on another forum, but I don't know the people there at all and they don't know me at all, so I'm not sure how to take their advice, if you see what I mean. I also only got one or two replies, which might mean that there's nothing anyone can say about it...

Adding on the title "Poster X, please don't read this" or sending them a PM saying not to is ridiculous, as it would be an invitation to read it and also might give them the wrong idea, that I'd be talking about them, when I'd only be talking about myself.

Doing something similar to the "triggering" idea would also give the wrong impression, as it's nothing like the things usually associated with that and so would probably turn away a lot of people who could offer advice and would not be affected by what I'd say, while doing nothing to keep out the one person who would be.

I also can't think of any way to say "People who fall in <this> category, please don't read" because that would either be so generic it would apply to everyone or so specific that it would apply to very few people, and so would make it clear who I don't want to read it.

I can't think of any way to get around this, so this thread is basically pointless, but as far as I can tell I've been vague enough that it won't do any harm, so I can at least ask this.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have the same problem 100%. I suppose you could make an alias and try to make it vague enough that they won't know, would that work?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Nope, not in this case. It's not about who I am.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could raise the query in ask thesite or ask it in the chat when potential persons aren't about? :-)
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    It's not something for askthesite, but the chat may be a good idea, at the right time. Thanks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would say you can't just not make one thread just because somebody might be offended by it. I don't like everything I read on the boards but I just get on with it
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    It's not a matter of offending someone. It's... difficult to say without giving hints. It's not about anyone taking offence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just make it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you're probably worrying about nothing, tbh.

    I've had someone on another website make a thread about me. I read the replies and I was sat there thinking "I'm thinking the same thing too".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you're worrying too much about it. I think maybe you over think things sometimes :)
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    That's the problem... Ok, I'll risk getting a little less vague.
    It's... a thought I've had. It's very important to me so I want to get some other people's opinions on it, preferably opinions by people who aren't complete strangers.
    This thought is about myself, but it could also apply to someone else, who probably hasn't thought the same thing. But while I can take it, I'm afraid they can't.

    Better?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I think you're worrying too much about it. I think maybe you over think things sometimes :)
    I know I do. But some other times, I underthink things. And I don't know when it's one and not the other.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are asking for opinions about you and your own situation I think you should go for it. The advice you are given may not necessarily be relevant to this other person (depending on whether the situation is the exact same). Once you have posted the thread, if they then read your post, they have the option of choosing not to read the advice/opinions you then receive...
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    It's not the advice that would be the problem. It's my thought itself. It's not about stopping someone from doing anything based on advice, it's not making them think of something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ohhh I see...that's a difficult dilemma. Is it worth PM'ing a mod with a little more detail and asking for their advice on how you should go about creating a thread for said thought?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    That's an idea, maybe I'll do that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd just post your thread. Really, the site is for support for you. So you post, you get support. If someone else reads your post and is upset, for some reason, then they can post their own thread and get support. Any number of people could be upset by any one of the threads that people post. I think to not post for that reason doesn't really make sense.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you do realise this thread will be making people think all sorts of stuff?! ha x
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    you do realise this thread will be making people think all sorts of stuff?! ha x
    I do. Seriously, if it was just me this thread would be making a mountain out of a mole hill (or a planet out of a mountain -better analogy). The topic is literally something that only applies to two people I know of, including myself.
    The other one however has said things in the past that make it clear their mentality on the subject is far worse than mine. I seriously think that if I ask what I want to and the other sees it, it could end badly.

    Having said the above... I think if the other person reads this now, they'll know it's them I'm talking about, and what the topic is. Which is 2 out of 3 things I was trying to avoid by being vague.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    Indrid, I'm around today, so feel free to drop me a PM :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Feel free to PM me too. My curiosity is killing me.
  • Starry nightStarry night Incredible Poster Posts: 674
    If you like, I'm happy for you to PM me. I like giving advice...whether I'm any good is questionable. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Feel free to PM me too. My curiosity is killing me.

    Because you're the other person.......???

    Seriously though this site isn't around for you not to ask for advice if you need it because of someone else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Because you're the other person.......???

    Seriously though this site isn't around for you not to ask for advice if you need it because of someone else.

    No I'm just being nosey :-) but like Starry offering my advice services if required...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could you just sign up with another username and then post?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Melian wrote: »
    Could you just sign up with another username and then post?
    Again, that wouldn't make a difference as who I am isn't important.

    In any case, thanks for the advice people. I'll think about it.
Sign In or Register to comment.