Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

My Granddad has cancer

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My granddad has Cancer, and he's terminal. I don't know much about it. Just heard from a friend he's "Terminal". He was quite absent during my childhood, there was always tension between him and the rest of my none-existent family, because of the fact He amongst other members of my Family are an alcoholic, and something happened (Which I'm unaware of what) Between my mum and my granddad and my uncle, to the extreme my Uncle hasn't seen his dad since he was my age, and he's now in his late 40's.

So I never got to see much of him when I was little, and then he moved to Thailand to marry some woman and adopt a child, or something. Then they split up and he married someone else, He runs a quite big cleaning company in hull which means he has a fair bit of money, and he's always played his grandchildren of against each other. Like, for christmas he might get my brothers (I have 6) something and miss out me and my sisters(I also have 6). Or buy me something and nobody else. He's always done this because he likes causing arguments.

But now because of the constant drinking and constant being drunk every night, he's developed Cancer, and the doctors can't do anything about it, He's spent weeks in hospital and now they've told him that he's comfortable, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this, Its bringing back unwanted memories of my Dad, because my dads currently loosing his battle with cancer, and I don't see my dad anymore, and I don't know what stage my Granddad or my farther are at. I feel really bad though at the fact he's going to die, Because I don't really have a family anyways, None of my Family members speak to me, and now I won't have the chance to ever again after he's gone.

I don't know what to say really, This has just turned into a ranty thread..


My friend (who told me) has informed me my auntie put this status up.

"Another update for the ppl I ain't text! My dad got rushed back in the other night after a few hours of been home,now he's got a chest infection n pneumonia he's not in a good way at all so can't really say much were takin each day as it comes..soon as he asks for his head shave again that's him picking back up..fank u for your caring texts they mean alot xx"

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So sorry to hear about your grandad Emmalee *hug*

    It's not because you aren't close to your family or that he seemed mean at times, that this isn't hard for you. And of course you feel sad that he's could pass away - it will be a challenge to deal with even if he hasn't been very much part of your life.

    You say your friend told you about this. Are you able to talk to them, or other close friends about how you feel about your grandad and your dad going through cancer? I wonder if it's helped just to be able to have a bit of a rant here and get some of this off your chest?

    Have a look at our basic article on cancer, as well as the Macmillan website that has a cancer support helpline.

    Let us know how you get on *hug*
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he's going to die, Really soon. and I can't be there till after saturday as thats when I get paid next. and everythings a mess. i keep crying so much i hyperventalte and be sick.im a mess.aghh
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can anyone help you get there sooner? I hope you're doing ok, whatever ok can mean to you right now
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    he's going to die, Really soon. and I can't be there till after saturday as thats when I get paid next. and everythings a mess. i keep crying so much i hyperventalte and be sick.im a mess.aghh

    How much do you need?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He was sent for more tests yesterday, and we should get a better idea of how long he has left, or something, I can't go down for a few days anyways, without it sounding really selfish, but this week I have things like interveiws, Housing meetings ect, things I really need to attend. I'm waiting for a text in the next couple of hours, (hopefully) to say, whats happening
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They're turning off his life support machine today
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug* Sorry I don't have more than a hug to offer. Have you made it up there?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kiss kiss hug hug. Are you with anyone tonight? Try not to be by yourself.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There was a slight improvement a few hours before they we're due to turn of the machine, so they reduced the sadation a bit, and he's still in intensive care, though. but still alive!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So he's not waking up out of the coma, they did this test (forgot the name) where they draw fluid from the spine to test for brain damage or something o_O maybe I've mixed two different types of tests up, Either way they did that and he has brain damage, not sure how bad or what type apparently theres different types, but they won't put a time limit on it..but he won't recover..
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Update on this :

    He was discharged from hospital about a month back, after he recovered enough to spend his 'final months at home' Christmas day he was re-admitted back to hospital, and they've said he might not make it through the week...its 'touch and go' He's on an IV drip and something else...
  • Options
    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hey Emmalee

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Christmas Day is a really tough time to get news like that. How are you feeling? Apart from very very sad, of course?

    From earlier posts on this thread it sounds like your Granddad, and your relationship with him and the rest of your family, can provoke a lot of feelings in you. How are you finding that today? Are you able to see him? Or talk to anyone about what's going on?

    Even though you've known he's been ill for quite some time, having something like this develop can still be a massive shock and provoke lots of confusing emotions. Allow yourself some time to adjust to the news and to feel and experience whatever it is you're feeling. There's no right or wrong way to deal with something like this - just do what's best for you.

    We're all here for you and are sending you virtual hugs and love at this difficult time. Please do write here if you want to get anything out. And, in the meantime, you're in our thoughts.

    Sending you big hugs *hug*

    Holly
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee I am so sorry to hear this.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big hugs emmy xx

    Sent from my KFTT using Tapatalk 2
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear this I know what it like I been thee this with my grandad and granma hugs it's not nice to go thee serious this like this how are u feeling today x
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone, I might be seeing him tomorrow...I'm going up north to collect my final bits and Bobs from my old city. So I might see if I'm able to pop in and see him...Just so shocking really, The fact he got better (well came off Life support and was able to go home) and I got my hopes up...Just to see it all go downhill Taking everything hour by hour
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    Thanks everyone, I might be seeing him tomorrow...I'm going up north to collect my final bits and Bobs from my old city. So I might see if I'm able to pop in and see him...Just so shocking really, The fact he got better (well came off Life support and was able to go home) and I got my hopes up...Just to see it all go downhill Taking everything hour by hour

    That be fab If he can go home :) weldone for being strong :) hope it all goes well

    Keep us posted
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    Thanks everyone, I might be seeing him tomorrow...I'm going up north to collect my final bits and Bobs from my old city. So I might see if I'm able to pop in and see him...Just so shocking really, The fact he got better (well came off Life support and was able to go home) and I got my hopes up...Just to see it all go downhill Taking everything hour by hour

    I don't know what to say em, I'm so sorry to hear this. I just wanted tooffer you hugs and remind you we care *hug*
Sign In or Register to comment.