Housemate unwell - what to do?

Former Member

Those of you that read my posts are probably aware of me complaining about my housemate. Well, one of my other housemates has just had a word with me and told me that this weekend while I was away he was acting really strange. He was running around naked after an argument with another housemate and then went into his room and was really low and quite moody for the rest of the day. At the moment he's wondering around in a bra and pants and talking strange and smoking in the house (he doesn't smoke usually). He seems to have massive ups and downs, one day he'll be whooping and cheering and running around really hyper and telling everyone he loves them, some days we'll hardly see him and he'll just hide away in his room. He also has a hocking twitch that he does pretty much all the time (the hocking before you spit thing). And sometimes he just generally seems really jumpy and twitchy. I also frequently hear loud banging coming from his room like he's throwing stuff about (I live in the room next to him). At first we just thought he was on steroids or something as he's a big guy and goes to the gym a lot, but it's getting a bit weird now. We're not sure if he's taking drugs on his nights out (which are usually several times a week) and just on massive highs and downers or if it's something more. I've also noticed that he doesn't seem to like being alone and needs constant stimulation, he either always has his gf over (if they're together) his mates, or he's talking on the phone - usually really loudly having an argument or really loudly and excited about something. It's rare that I don't hear anything when he's in.
Basically, we don't know what to do. My housemate says if it happens again and he goes a bit crazy he wants to call an ambulance, but he won't be sectioned unless he's a danger to himself. Which he doesn't seem to be, he's just acting very strange and his character seems to change really dramatically. So they'll send him back and he's likely to get angry at us for reporting it. So....yeah, what do we do?

Former Member

Is there anyway you could talk to him, or maybe his girlfriend about it?

From what you've said, it could either be drugs or mental health- I'm unsure. I know from experience that when on stimulant drugs (coke, meow, MD etc) that you need to constantly talk, move, and also the thing you said about his twitch... most people chew their lips/tongue, or move their jaw around while on stimulants. And the low periods could quite possibly be come downs, which can be utterly awful on some drugs.

What's his eating habits like? When he's hyper/active, does he eat?

Equally, it could be mental health, which if it was I think he needs professional help because it sounds like he's got worse over time? Which means he might continue to get worse.

I think the first step would be speaking to him, just ask if he's feeling okay because you're abit worried about him.

Former Member

Yeah at first we just thought he was being a typical loud jock type guy, always partying, with friends etc. But the running around naked and in womens underwear is a bit odd. He generally eats pretty healthy, he cooks most nights (and leaves a mess in the kitchen), nothing really seems to change much in that way. He does bulk buy though (as in a whole manufacturers box of a box of cereals, kilos of meat etc) which takes up loads of space and gets on peoples nerves. But I dunno if that really means anything. He also owes our landlord money and is always late paying his share of the bills - again I dunno if that's because he's spending all of his money on food and partying or being generally disorganised. He confides in the housemate that had a word with me a lot and he's pretty good at dealing with this kind of thing (his parents also work in mental health), so I think he's going to do the honours. But it's hard to get him on his own because he always has company or is on the phone or out.

Former Member

The running around naked thing could be drugs, I know a fair few people who've done it down roads etc. and have no memory of it afterwards.. (they were sold some dodgy dodgy stuff though!)

But if he's eating normally then that kind of makes me edge towards mental health, because most stimulant drugs suppress your appetite.

Either way, I think he probably needs some kind of help! Doesn't sound normal at all. Hopefully your other housemate will manage to speak to him.

Former Member

He also told me he spent most of easter walking around naked while me and the other female housemate were away. He almost walked in naked when I was in the kitchen once (I had my back to him) but he grabbed a pair of boxers and put them on first. He said that he 'tries to make sure' he's covered up for us girls and apologised for always having his hand down his boxers (another thing he does). I thought it was a bit weird because how do you try to not be naked? Unless you live alone or with family most people don't have to think about getting dressed before leaving their bedroom.

Former Member

That is really weird... not sure what to say to that!

Former Member

Well shortly after I posted this, some friends of his that we didn't recognise came round and he left with them. He said one of them was his uncle (which they clearly weren't) and was making excuses for them even though we didn't say anything. He still had the bra on under a tshirt and was wearing a weird hat and sunglasses and only one sock. This isn't him at all but I dunno if it was some kind of stupid dare by these people. I also found out that while I was a way he spent a day talking in a different voice too. My housemate rang a mental health helpline and they were really unhelpful and just said there's nothing anyone can do unless he's being dangerous. But I think he's got a job abroad this summer so he might be moving out soon.

Former Member

Maybe phone 111/nhs direct?

Former Member

I would try and talk to his girlfriend or one of his sensible mates to find out whats going on. Try and let them know you wont care if they say its drugs, just so you know. Otherwise id feel quite uncomfortable living with someone like that

Former Member

I haven't seen his gf or regular friend recently. The guys and girl he went out with area we'd never seen before. Just need to catch him at the right moment.

Former Member

OK update, sounds like it's actually drugs. Just overheard a conversation with his friend that pretty much confirmed it.

Former Member

Ballerina wrote: »

OK update, sounds like it's actually drugs. Just overheard a conversation with his friend that pretty much confirmed it.

Did you hear what drugs?? It sounds a bit like meth, but that's really uncommon in the UK (well, in my area anyway!)

If it becomes a real problem it might be worth talking to your landlord about it.

Former Member

Didn't hear what specificially, but the conversation certainly sounded like it. Well he's already threatened the 2 french housemates and other housemates have told them they're sick of how he treats the place but he never sorts it out. He also owes the landlord money so my housemate is going to confront him and then tell the landlord. He's finished his uni course so hopefully he'll go. If he owes the landlord money and it turns out it's because he's spending it on drugs I don't think he's going to be very sympathetic.

Former Member

I think one of you should definitely speak to the landlord.
It's all well and good him wanting to take drugs, but if it's impacting and disrupting other people's lives that's just not on. It sounds like he's too absorbed in it to notice though!

Former Member

I don't think we would have a problem if he wasn't such an inconsiderate housemate, everyone has said that he disrupts the harmony and how nice the house is when he's not here. He knows full well that he pisses us off and is always apologising but then he just carries on. He went out again last night and bought 2 girls home but luckily I didn't hear much from them after 2 of us went out and told them to be quiet. Now he's hiding in his room so I think he's on another comedown. My housemate is going to try and catch him on his own today and confront him I think

Former Member

Hi Ballerina,

This can't be an easy situation for you at all , but it seems like you and your housemates have handled this well. Speaking to him yet keeping your distance just in case but watching and listening is a good way to figure things out. Like you say hopefully he will move out soon and if he hasn't paid properly I imagine the landlord won't be too happy!!

These things can start feeling like your problem and its important to remember that if you ever feel unsafe, to put yourself first and try to stay with friends or family if he gets aggressive in any way. Seems like he's more annoying then dangerous at the moment though, but try to stay aware and hopefully it will stay that way.
Similarly if this really starts being a concern of safety and you feel he is becoming dangerous then it's important to speak to an authority (such as police or an appropriate adult) or/and the landlord.

Our article on dealing with someone's addiction has a few bits and pieces of advice too

Let us know how you get on :yes:

Former Member

He's moving out soon anyway. Just found out. So not going to bother making the atmosphere even more uncomfortable before then. Just wish we'd figured it out sooner, but oh well