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my wierd relationship..or is it?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi all..its the first time am actually posting questions...and hope someone gives me some advice..i am really disappointed.
i am 21 year old girl, and never dated before..i never found anyone good enough..i did have crush on my teacher n a classmate before but i brushed them off. 14 months back, i met this guy, who is 30, a doctor by qualification but no career yet.he dint want to be a doctor. he does logo designing and photography basically works from home. but we share common dreams.he never dated or married.from the country i come from,not dating is fine..its generally no sex b4 marriage kind of thing. we just got close very soon n i told him i loved him....few days later he said he did too. we have been going out a lot..wen i go to his place,we make out, a little foreplay and all. he adores me...he calls me his baby all the while.. he treats me like a baby...sometimes the kisses he gives are like how you kiss a baby. basically i feel all he wants is a baby...wen i told him why he treats me like a baby....he says i am his little baby..and he adds apart from being many other things.(probably just so he doesnt hurt my feelings) he is very sweet very caring and soooo adorable..but doesnt know how to pleasure me. even in the foreplay..i have to go down on him most of the time. i never really agreed for him going down on me.but only becos he never really sounded like it wud be nice. it sounded like he just wanted to repay me. he says..i wish i could make you pleasured without going down. but doesnt do anything abt it. i hav told him a few times wat i like. but he just starts doing it and suddenly stops gets back to kissing me like am a cute little kitten or a baby. it just irritates me so bad.he asked me once how could he make me come.but i hav absolutly no clue. but reading stuff online or erotica dint help either..apart from tat..i drive him everywhere..he has a vehicle tat he never takes out. doesnt want to drive in traffic he says. takes taxi to everywhere. i get him flowers when we meet. i give him cards. gifts and everything..but on special occasion he did get gifts only cos i said do something special for me.but it felt like he did it for the heck of it.he pays the bills wen we go out though..we used to share in the beginning.later he insisted he pay. but i feel like i am the guy in the relationship.and i wonder if he is gay..the way he talks and walks sometimes. and not wanting me in tat way. we are best friends though. i just need perspective..am i acting demanding and selfish or is this normal? or is he gay? and sorry for such a long paragraph..m just so confused ryt now. help :banghead:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Based on what I just read, I think he is very strange.

    A man who stops giving you pleasure to kiss you and say how can I make you come is weird?
    A man who says he doesn't want to drive in traffic and then pays for a cab which will drive in the same traffic he is afraid of is a weirdo?

    He sounds gay or asexual?
    He is alleging he is a qualified doctor but he is either lying or lacking in ambition if he is sitting on his bum.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    still confused

    bettyboo, thanks for replying soon..and he is doctor.not lying abt it.i saw his certificate.met his friends.he worked for a year as a doctor too...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bettyboo wrote: »
    He sounds gay or asexual?

    based on what exactly? People don't sound gay, they don't walk gay.

    You can't just tell if someone is gay
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To me it sound like you need to put you foot down and say - you can pleasure me like this or I don't bother with you.

    People change their minds about what they do with the lives and he could just be a nervous driver. And with the suggesting he's gay I think is a little judgemental.

    I don't think it's weird, but I think you might need to communicate with him a bit more and tell him how you feel and that you want him to treat you like a woman not a baby. If he says no then you know where you stand and if that's not what you want then there's not much flexibility in that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    miss riot thanks

    even i had a slight doubt tat maybe its my fault.maybe i am not communicating well. but he is not completely right either...but ill try talking to him and lets see what happens. i really hope he understands me and my wants...i dont want to lose him or hurt him or make him sad. and m pretty sure he cant be without me. the point is i dont exactly know how to pleasure me either * embarrassed* :o
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, what have you done to explore what you like?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    welllll......

    almost nothing :( but i like it when he kisses me in certain ways..and feels me up..just roaming his hands on me makes me feel so good! and we tried few things too which i liked.....too embarrassed :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can't blame him, or call him gay, because you can't or won't explore the things that you enjoy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I don't think it's weird, but I think you might need to communicate with him a bit more and tell him how you feel and that you want him to treat you like a woman not a baby. If he says no then you know where you stand and if that's not what you want then there's not much flexibility in that.

    :yes:

    It seems like you both really care about each other but being slightly inexperienced and perhaps shy about saying what you like could hold you back a bit. You say some things he does you really like so while he's doing it share how you feel and tell him. You can learn together what you both like :)

    If you talk to him about this calmly and honestly there is no reason why he should take it badly, unless something is going on with him separately.

    Let us know how things go when you do speak to him *hug*

    In the meantime have a look at theses articles that can help;
    Sex and Self-esteem
    Losing virginity
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