Help?

Former Member

I'm new here so yeah, this is how I'm feeling:

For a few weeks now I have being feeling really down. I have lost interest in everything I used to be interested in including sixth form, going out with friends, even going on the laptop or my phone. I have recently broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months and I was and still am deeply in love with him. In January me and my mum found out that we were going to be evicted from our home, and he was there for me when I was at one of my worst times. I feel like a part of me has gone; we were inseparable. We had the best relationship, good banter and loved spending time with each other. This could not have come at a worse time as I am currently doing my AS levels. I miss him so much that I am taking so many steps to avoid thinking about him which is effecting my everyday life as when I do think about him, I breakdown into tears. There are certain buses for example that I can't take because they go to where he lives and certain places in my town. The reason we split up was because I became paranoid and even though he wouldn't admit it, I believe he is depressed. Everything became to much for him. I tried my best to help him and when I was focusing so much on him, I became less aware of how low, stressed and even depressed I was feeling.

A couple of years ago my dad told me he didn't want anything to do with me as I didn't get on with his girlfriend at all. She was verbally abusive to me and I never said anything as she was so good at hiding it. I was only 13 at this point and I felt like shit to say the least. At 15, I got pregnant with my ex boyfriend of 2 years but we lost it. My mum made me forget about it as I was about to start my GCSE's but I do still think about it.

Everything has acclimated to me become very angry recently and my mum unfortunately has had to put up with my moods. I get angry with my mum the quickest, to be honest, she is more interested in the next bloke she's going on a date with than how I'm feeling. Whenever I sit there, she looks at me and tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself and that I'm just feeling down today, when really I've been feeling down since I was 13.

The one I love doesn't want to talk to me and to think that it happened because of my own paranoia makes me hate myself and I feel sick to my stomach.

So any help on what I can do because I hate feeling like this and I really don't know if I can do it anymore.
Thanks

Former Member

Heyy,

Sorry to hear what u are going threw . Have u seen ur gp, spoken to ur famliey or teacher about how ur feeling they might be able to help u.

Former Member

hi artichelen_, welcome to the boards. hopefully you'll find us a supportive lot with people who can offer similar experience to what you've described.

it sounds like you've had a variety of things happen to you, seemingly all at once, that have contributed to you feeling down in the dumps.

you mention things like paranoia, which could be a result of a hormonal or chemical imbalance- and if so, a trip to the doctors as bubbly heather suggests would kick start an investigation into this. a doctor may also be able to refer you for counselling.

in the short term, there are various online help sites (including us at thesite!) which may be of use. one I like to recommend is mood gym (apologies I can't link as I'm on my phone, Google it!) which gives you simple exercises to improve your mood.

it sounds to me like you have at least three separate issues causing you to feel down - your ex, your dad, and your mum. I'd suggest continuing to talk about these issues here with us, but have you considered accessing counseling in your area? your school may offer something, or your doctor?

Former Member

It sounds like you've had a tough time over the past few years *hug*

Have you considered talking to someone at the college about how you're feeling? It might help if you have some face to face support. My college had a student services and they were excellent, even took me to see my Dr, where I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and then referred to counselling. Or the college may have a counsellor on site, who you can talk to. Exams are always stressful to deal with and I understand the added pressures on top is really frustrating and is making you feel worse.

But I would definitely advise talking to someone at your college that you trust or maybe going to see your doctor, as it sounds like you really need someone to talk to and support you.

Good luck!

Former Member

Thank you to all the replies, it's a relief to know that people actually care!
I applied to get counselling at my school, but the waiting list is as long as about two months before you can even see someone so maybe a trip to the doctors might be needed.
Ellie, if you don't mind me asking, was it easy talking to doctor? Like, did you feel like you couldn't tell him or her anything because you were too afraid or embarrassed?

Thankyou!

Former Member

I had a teacher with me and she basically told the drs why I was there. The Dr then did several questionnaires with me. To be honest it is difficult at first to talk about how you are feeling, I became embarrassed at first. But it definitely gets easier with time!
If you are worried that you will be to nervous or uncomfortable to speak honestly with the Dr then you could try writing it down beforehand and then give it to them. That way you know you've got everything down.

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Former Member

I think I might do what you said and write it all down beforehand. I know the way it will come out will sound embarrassing to talk about, then hopefully as time goes on, it will get easier to talk about. I don't want my doctor to think it's 'just a phase' like what my mum thinks.