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Masks

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I went to counselling and she helped me figure out all I do is hide behind a mask. I am never - ever myself. That kind of scares me, because what if no one likes the 'real me', how do I drop the mask and have real confidence?

This website is the only place I am the real me, it's the only time when I can say what I really want to say and know that I won't get judged.

I just want to know if someone else hides behind a mask as well?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    everyone uses masks - or personas. whatever you want to call them. You're a different person to different people - your best mate won't view you in the same light as your parents. The problem comes when you start pretending and lying to yourself in order to fit in or whatever. If you're not true to yourself then everything can feel distorted and unreal. I felt totally detatched from reality. I don't do it anymore because I don't live on the pretence that I have to please anyone else asides myself unless I choose to, but its hard trying to find yourself again and gradually bring back in parts of you one by one into your everyday life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    everyone uses masks - or personas. whatever you want to call them. You're a different person to different people - your best mate won't view you in the same light as your parents. The problem comes when you start pretending and lying to yourself in order to fit in or whatever. If you're not true to yourself then everything can feel distorted and unreal. I felt totally detatched from reality. I don't do it anymore because I don't live on the pretence that I have to please anyone else asides myself unless I choose to, but its hard trying to find yourself again and gradually bring back in parts of you one by one into your everyday life.

    I feel detatched all the time + how did you change your view, like why do you know nott please everyone or whatever? Because I don't feel strong enough to do that:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My view only changed when I found myself having a psychotic episode a few years back. It took away everything I had previously hidden behind, I felt incredibly vunerable but is made me see what was going on around me in a much better light. No one else put me first at that time so I had to put myself first and stop joining in other peoples games.

    Everyone has the strength, its just a case of knowing where to look - different strokes for different folk, but its there somewhere.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cutesmileyfun wrote: »
    how did you change your view, like why do you know nott please everyone or whatever? Because I don't feel strong enough to do that:)

    Sometimes it's really hard to say no or to put yourself first. Like anything else it can be practised. Start small, "Make your own cup of tea" or something, and see how that feels. Try it with someone you trust, you might find it's not as scary as you think.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    Start small, "Make your own cup of tea" or something, and see how that feels.
    Thankyou I'll try that :)
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