Must I REALLY Love My Family?

Former Member

My Mother.

I dont know what to say about my mother. Sometimes she is just aggravating. Seriously. Like a hit my head against the wall kind of way. :banghead: just like that. I actually do that sometimes, but not hard. That would hurt. I dont like her. She is not my stepmother like most daughters have problems with, but my real one. I get along with other people just fine, but she has SO many things that are wrong about me. SO many. In her opinion. She even blames her Multiple Sklerosis on me. I mean, WTF?!
Well, she does way worse crap. Way worse. But for that you have to read the next post. So ya.

Peace out,
fridaythethirteenth

Former Member

You don't have to love anyone, You love the people who love you and who are nice to you and show you respect loving and care, if people don't show you that, and treat you like crap, why should you love them?. I have a brother who I don't love I really hate him to the point I wish he didn't exist. it doesn't make me a bad person for it, I also don't love my mum, As you get older you realise family isn't the people your born into, just like you choose your friends, you chose your family. anyways...nobody can force you to love someone.

If you don't love your mum, thats fine...

Indrid Cold

Exactly what Emmalee said.

Former Member

Yeah, another agreement here. I do love my mum, and my step-mum for that matter, but they were/are wonderful women who cared for me. And loved my dad and my brother and sisters.

But you don't have to love anyone.

I am interested to hear about what your mum does that upsets you so much if you'd like to share?

Former Member

I know how you feel. but for me it's not my mother it's my father I really hated him and I still do sometimes. When he is in a bad mood me and my other two sisters we used to be really scarred of him. You name it and he did it. for example : one day my sister was at my grandmother's house we only live maybe 5 minutes walking so he went to my grandmother's house and grabbed my sister from her hair and pulled her the whole street and on the way he threw stones at her. another day he threw an orange at my sister and my sister moved and it hit me in the eye, i couldn't see for about 5 minutes. sometime he would use his hand or his belt.

He would tell us to go far away from his house. And when he's pissed off he would say that people who don't have kids or can't is better then him because we are in his way.
He say alot of bad words. Anyway I grew up really hating him, my mother tells me to love him because he's still my father but I don't see him that way he never really liked us and for me well I don't know who he is. He want everything his way.

In 18 years he didn't tell me once that he loves me and he don't show affection.
I'm not close to any of my family so F**k them and f**k my life.
I still hate him. And I used to wish that my parents separate.
I guess it's not bad to not love someone like Emmalee said.

Former Member

Hi fridaythethirteenth,

Welcome to the boards :wave:

It's true that it can be hard to live or deal with family when they aggravate you so much and the relationship is struggling. Having a problematic relationship with your mum will inevitably make you feel upset and annoyed :mad:

Have you talked to your mother about how you feel? What are her views on your relationship?
Being blamed for her having MS is certainly not your fault, and seems like from your post that she has a tendency to blame you, or worse, for things - which can be hurtful - and perhaps something you can talk to her about.

Good luck and let us know how you get on *hug*

Former Member

For me Emmalee has summed it all up.

Just think, are their horrible selfish uncaring people in this world?...

Can these people have kids?



Don't speak with my Mum neither.

I remember her saying I should quit my job and claim benefits, what kind of crap advise is that, she just wanted to be put in a easy position as that would of meant she could quit and we would get everything paid for, I thought, wow, if I did not think for myself and listened to her I would have no future, be a bad role model for my Son etc.

Now I'm on the cusp of a good career.

That's just one example, could go on...

There's a lot of poor kids out there that have a 'blind faith' in their parents but there comes a point where you judge them for who they are and think, if this person was a stranger and not my parent, how would I feel about them?
What qualities do they have, if I met them as a. Colleague, would I want to talk to them on break, would I want to speak to them at all.

If you can answer, I'd love then for all the support, advice, encouragement, help, love 'doing their best' for me then great, you should let them know how much you love them as they truly Love you and I praise them, but if the answer is the opposite then just focus on your life and think about your plans.
x

Reena

Like the saying goes; you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.

Totally agree with Emmalee.
xx

Former Member

pink girl wrote: »

I know how you feel. but for me it's not my mother it's my father I really hated him and I still do sometimes. When he is in a bad mood me and my other two sisters we used to be really scarred of him. You name it and he did it. for example : one day my sister was at my grandmother's house we only live maybe 5 minutes walking so he went to my grandmother's house and grabbed my sister from her hair and pulled her the whole street and on the way he threw stones at her. another day he threw an orange at my sister and my sister moved and it hit me in the eye, i couldn't see for about 5 minutes. sometime he would use his hand or his belt.

He would tell us to go far away from his house. And when he's pissed off he would say that people who don't have kids or can't is better then him because we are in his way.
He say alot of bad words. Anyway I grew up really hating him, my mother tells me to love him because he's still my father but I don't see him that way he never really liked us and for me well I don't know who he is. He want everything his way.

In 18 years he didn't tell me once that he loves me and he don't show affection.
I'm not close to any of my family so F**k them and f**k my life.
I still hate him. And I used to wish that my parents separate.
I guess it's not bad to not love someone like Emmalee said.

He sounds like he has narcissistic personality disorder.

http://www.lightshouse.org/the-narcissistic-parent.html#axzz2RkRPqjYK