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Can't deal with mum's boyfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I stayed at my mums house since wednesday. I dont get on with her boyfreind. He been causing a lot of argements everytime i go there and takes my mum off me :( i feel iam not wanted and iam been pushed away. I feel like iam not my mums darghter anymore. He wants my mum all to him-self, he dosnt care how i feel or nothing. he caursed a argerment with me all beause i wont let him have any ciggerattes beause he smokes all his and carsed a big argment i just wanted go get away from him. Then we always have the police around the house beause of him. i dont feel like my reashingship going to work. I tryed to get on with him and that. I suggested to my mum to go out and have girly time with each other. Fair dos she does come out and that. He gets gel that she spending time with me. He dosnt like me speading time with her even she my mum. he wont let me give my own mum a hug :impissed::crying:. Part me wants to be there beause thats my mum i want to have contact but i dont beause of her horrable boyfreind. i would like to stay in contact with her but i dont see this will happen or work at all. I really dont know what to do :crying::crying::crying::crying: Needs lots of hugs *hug*. i got lods of thing on my mind dont need him making it worse for me. i feel like i cont have my mum. i give up going to see her now. I really dont want to loose my trust with her. i feel like it is going to happen :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say he is jealous, and you can't even hug your Mum :( can I ask if you know whether he has been physical with her or is it just psychological?

    Also, how does your Mum react to this behaviour? How long have they been together and has this been going on? It's bad that she is letting this happen I just wonder whether she is scared of him or takes his side?

    My Dad's girlfriend is an alcoholic and he always used to take her side and made me feel like her behaviour was my fault when it wasn't. Try to remember that him being like this is NOT your fault.

    *hug**hug*:)*hug**hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is really bad and I am sorry to hear this. Try to talk to your mother in private. Explain to her how you feel, tell her how much you love her and you want to spend more time with her and you don't like this guy. I think she will understand you. Wish you luck!*hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PLEASE HELP ME its getting worse i cont cope anymore with him :( he making me what to do something i dont want to do. he caursing alot of argerments again. he gets involed in my comfos with my mum about famliey and it got nothing to do with him then a agerment come beause of him getting involved. i still want to see my mum but not when he is there. i got my hamster there to so i need to that. i dont know what to do its getting to much for me and my mum. my mum keeps forgiving him. i really dont like him at all. my reashingship isreally bad. i really dont like the way he is treating me and my mum. i spoken to my mum and told her about how iam feeling she keeps forgiving him. i give up and dont know what to do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    can you tell a teacher you trust?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Iam not in school or collage
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You said that when you ask your mum to go out with you she does.

    That's good... that is one on one time, if he is an arse, don't go round there.
    Sometimes people don't like each other, sometimes those people can put on a temporary front for the sake of the person in the middle, sometimes they can't.

    Can you explain how he stops you from giving your mum a hug?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When her and her boyfreind had a argerment she goes on his side and egnours me and then i get the blame,, she dosnt speak to me and dosnt give a hugs or nothing i not done nothing and i dont know y they get me involved in it and i told them i dont want to niver they dont liston or care what i say to her. i told her about how iam feeling that i fdont like thwe way she is treating her and me and she dosnt listonm and told her that its making me not want to spend time with her if i take her out he get gel beause he cont go out beause he is ill then haves ago at me and my mum. i dont want to break my reashinship with my mum. but it is beause of here horrable boyfreind, he gets involved in thing that he dosnt need to get involved and dosnt know then at all. :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if shes on his side, then how is she having an argument with him?

    If shes ignoring you and wont give you hugs etc, then it sounds like the problem is with her, as much as, if not more than him.

    How old are you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yep :( 19
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello again,

    I would like to say that thesite is great full of loads of people with real experience who wish to help you through these troubling times you are having.

    But, I want to give you a bit of advice to allow people to give you good advice, firstly, when writing a lot of text its good to use paragraphs and to place your text inblocks which makes it easier for others to read.

    Secondly, when you state your problems, explain with an actual example, you said 'he makes me do things I don't want to do' but are you harming yourself or taking about the washing up? You said 'he doesnt let me hug my mum' but I still don't know how he has stopped you hugging you mum, you have not explained or gave an example.

    How did he demonstrate his jealously when you took your mum out?

    Family's are not perfect, I dont speak with my mum, people sometimes wish there mum or dad is this or that but judge her for who she is I hope you improve you relationship with your mum but start focusing more on yourself and what YOU will do with your life/future, be strong and make yourself attractive to people and try and go on a training course, hobbies group of something your into to meet like minded people or find a job to keep your mind healthy x
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