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Reaching out to people
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey.
As the title says, I have difficulty reaching out to people. For instance, people from uni, school, even family to an extent. I worry they'll judge me for how things have been going and think "What a loser."
Are there any ways to overcome this?
Thanks.
As the title says, I have difficulty reaching out to people. For instance, people from uni, school, even family to an extent. I worry they'll judge me for how things have been going and think "What a loser."
Are there any ways to overcome this?
Thanks.
0
Comments
Well you've reached out here on our boards, so that's a positive start?
As for reaching out to people in face-to-face contexts, there's a few tips that makes it easier. Picking a good moment for someone to talk, picking a good person to reach out too - so maybe not someone who's got loads of their own personal stuff on. And maybe just start talking to one person and see how that goes? If it goes well, then you can build on that and start talking to others.
How does that sound?
Take care and do let us know how you're getting on.
Holly
I couldn't tell from your post whether you're at school, college or university, but have you considered joining a club or society which is linked to a particular interest or hobby which you have? If that isn't possible, going a club externally to an educational setting is also a possibility. That way, you'll be meeting people with similar interests to you. I've met some very like-minded people in clubs with I've joined at uni, I had the same concerns as you in thinking "argh, what if they think I'm weird, or what if they judge me?" but everyone is in the same boat, at least in terms of hobbies/interest and I've made some lovely friends. And if the club isn't for you, there's no obligation to stay there. Might be worth giving it a try
Shit part of life is that people do judge each other and some will think other people are losers... The good part is that once you find out people's reactions to you reaching out, you can weed out the losers and know who your friends really are.
I used to be incredibly shy and also had/have difficulty relating to people on an emotional level (by which I mean I have difficulty reading people, social cues, nuances ect). I think really, you just have to give it a try and see what happens...
Do you have "safe friends"? I.E. People you trust more and who are nice and/or gentle people?
Thank you everyone for your repliies.
It's more of the latter. Sometimes I find it a bit difficult to talk about myself and how things have been going. It's been tough but I wouldn't want people to think less of me for it or judge my circumstances.
Whatever your past is that's your business. You're perfectly within your right to say you don't want to talk about it if a tricky subject comes up :yes:
Small talk is a big thing. You can have friendships without people knowing much about you. I know lots of people who are fairly guarded on their pasts. One of my best friends is like this but we get on because we have a similar sense of humour and ee have a laugh about silly things. We often talk about things that have been on tv or things that have happened recently rather than her past. Silly little things like how she got on at the gym etc. You don't need peolple to know everything about you to form a friendship and you take as much time as you need before revealing anything sensitive about yourself. Everyone has a past of some description and some find it easier to deal / talk about than others.
Have you considered talking to a neautral person (like Samaritans or Childline) about your issues. Sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective.
Just wondering whether you need to talk about things that embarrass you or to get somr closure?