Coworker snubbed me

Former Member

Don't get me wrong. Most ppl at work like me. We talk and have fun just like any other people enjoying camaraderie. This one girl, however, all she did was snub me as of recently. She didn't used to snub me. Idk y. She talks to everyone else though and I'm starting to get jealous. I'm always nice, friendly, and outgoing, so what doesn't she like about me? Consequently, I lost my will to live. Should I report her to management? What should I do?

Former Member

Are you seeing any type of mental health professionals? Losing the will to live over somebody not liking you or missing a christmas party is not a normal or healthy reaction. Not everybody is going to like you, and that is something we all must deal with.

Also, I am not accusing you of having multiple accounts, Helen scolds me when I do check out some very similar posts by this user with very similar issues. There are some helpful pieces if advice.

http://vbulletin.thesite.org/search.php?searchid=1105594

Former Member

I'm seeing a counselor. Just need to know if management will stop that girl from hurting me.

Former Member

Nobody is hurting you. It is a simple case of somebody not wanting to be your friend. While it may not be a nice feeling, there is nothing management can do about it pursuing the issue could result in the other person feeling uncomfortable and harassed and this will only cause further grievances for you. Your boss cannot force somebody to be your friend.

Discussing this with your counselor and learning ways to cope is your best option.

Former Member

There is precisely nothing your boss can do about someone not wanting to be your friend, speak to your counselor to get advice on how best to broach it with the other person, or just drop it and ignore it. Getting your boss involved will make you look bad

Former Member

My boss could at least help some other way, right? Can't bear this alone

Former Member

My best advise, and one you have been given here several times before: Worry less about your colleague and seek psychiatric help because you clear have some issues which you need to work through.

Former Member

Help

Seek professional help to help you get over this girl. Not everyone will like you this is a fact of life one you must embrace. Just chill out when you see the girl and don't let her get you down. You have your own life and you can live it with or without her.:)

Former Member

Kissmekate wrote: »

My boss could at least help some other way, right? Can't bear this alone

You could, but only in a "I have a feeling I may have done something to offend X, are you aware of anything?/is there anything I could do to mend the relationship?" e.t.c.

Your boss *may* know what the problem is, and *may* be able to offer you some advice, but don't expect or ask for anything other than that. Don't ask your boss to intervene, in fact make a point of asking your boss not to say anything/tell them you are quite happy to sort it.

Former Member

I addressed this with my supervisor this morning. Turned out that coworker is just there to do her job and is in general not all that friendly. Guess I won't be talking to that person ne more.

Former Member

Frankly many people at work are just there to do their job, and there's no particular reason why any of them would want to be friends with you or anyone else if they don't want to. It sounds like you have a skewed perspective on people's obligations towards you. Noone has to be your friend and you're going to have an easier life if you accept that and move on rather than fighting it.

Former Member

But she talks to everyone else.

Former Member

Kissmekate wrote: »

But she talks to everyone else.

So what?

I talk to a lot of people where I work. Doesn't mean I want to be friends with everyone there.

Former Member

its not nice if you feel someone is purposely ignoring you or snubbing you. Just try and get on with your work and ignore it/her as best you can.

Former Member

Yea I agree with Suzy even if you don't have to make friends in the workplace, sometimes people are very cold and it can create an uncomfortable and even intimidating atmosphere. But as suzy says there isn't a whole lot you can do except try to focus on your work - remember the problem is not you but the other person not wanting to reach out. Everyone has their own little worlds and their own little weird things, nice things, and even not-so-nice things and being able to work with people in spite of their personalities will only be a credit to you in the long term. An ex of mine had the boss from hell and would phone me crying all the time, but I would just say to her, as horrible as it is now its only temporary, and you know you can do this - and you will know in the future you will be able to put up with anyone. She turned it from an injury that her boss was a dick, into a strength that she was able to persevere and do a great job in spite of him being a grade A cock.

Former Member

Doubt management can do out tbh. Not everyone you meet in life will like you, but if its really made you lose your will to live i think you need some kind of professional help.

Former Member

Kissmekate wrote: »

But she talks to everyone else.

That might be down to your attitude and the way you have talked about people as if you are stalking them. It might make people feel uncomfortable and wary about trusting you.

Former Member

There's a long trail of "my coworker" thread from Kate here. I'd say the issue was something to do with her rather than her mates. Hence time for her to seek psych help because they really don't seem to do anything unusual but her reaction most certainly is.

Former Member

ShyBoy wrote: »

Yea I agree with Suzy even if you don't have to make friends in the workplace, sometimes people are very cold and it can create an uncomfortable and even intimidating atmosphere. But as suzy says there isn't a whole lot you can do except try to focus on your work - remember the problem is not you but the other person not wanting to reach out. veryone has their own little worlds and their own little weird things, nice things, and even not-so-nice things and being able to work with people in spite of their personalities will only be a credit to you in the long term

:yes:

It's good your supervisor made you aware that she may seem to talk to everyone else but isn't actually so friendly :no:
Perhaps try to focus on the people that you do like at work and enjoy spending time with them - as it seems if this girl isn't giving you her time then it probably isn't worth your attention!

Good luck *hug*