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to meet or not to meet?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi

A brief overview here - I was dumped going on 3 months ago by my gf of 4 years. I was in a right state for ages and am still on prozac. Recently I've started feeling better as in not hurting or the time and I can look at pics without crying but I dunno if that is me or the tablets.

A while ago I 'met' this girl on the net and we have so much in common and get on really well, we just 'clicked'. We often spend hours chatting or texting, the other night she told me that she finds me attractive and daydreams about me (*blush*). I'm all confused here because she has recently been dumped too so maybe she is getting her feelings muddled. Also I find it a confidence boost that she likes me and am unsure how I feel about her.

We've been discussing meeting up and part of me really wants to but part of me is scared I might do something I regret or that we are both on the rebound and might end up hurting each other. I've told her that I wouldn't do anything with anyone unless I was sure I could give 100% but I'm scared of meeting and thinking I can give it when really I'm not ready.

I'm getting conflicting advice, one mate says I should just meet with her as friends and see how we both feel and that if I never take risks I'll might always ask what if and loose out on opporunities. Another mate says I should be careful because I might think I feel something that I dont and get myself into a mess so I shouldn't meet her yet until I'm more 'sorted out'

So I thought I'd throw it open, you guys give good advice from what I've seen and I've been given good advice by you too

cheers
Ann

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Ann
    I'm not exactly an expert with relationships, but I'll still try to give you a bit of advice.
    Firstly, about meeting her - there's nothing that says that meeting her will end up with a relationship. You ciould meet and just agree not to let anyhting happen when you do meet.
    Secondly, about a relationship - you say that she makes you feel confident. Isn't that one of the reasons why someone might find someone else attractive, just as much as their eyes, their figure, their sense of humour, etc?
    If you really want to wait, then do so. There's nothing that says you have to have a relationship with this girl. Maybe you'd be best tlaking together about how you feel, when you meet.
    I don't think you'll ever really know how you feel until you've made a final decision, but while analysing your situation is good, overanalysing it is bad. Maybe you need to go with your heart (what a cliche eh?)
    Anyway, I hope it all works out for you - let me know what you decide.
    Matthew
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ann i had my first real internet meeting and i went all on my own. I was thinking to myself why are you doing this but i have been single for ages and all my mates have paired off (one pregnant and another secretly trying to move in with her boyfriend) so im kinda alone to a point now. I though yeah im not looking for anything but a mate would be cool.
    Anyway i met him (and 2 mates). Didn't fancy him at all btu i felt quite comfortable around him which makes me say hes a mate. Just got to let him know it's only mates though as i got the distinct impression he fancied me.

    Anyway the point of this is that if you meet you can be friends. Then if after friends you like each other (maybe 3 months or so to make sure it's no rebound) then go for it!!!!

    Hope this load of rubbish helps you!
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