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kids need discipline, not love. Agree?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Kids who are loved during childhood ends up spoiled, entitled, and generally bratty. It starts with them throwing tantrums at grocery stores bc their parents won't buy them candy. It culminates with 16 y/o's thinking (and demanding) their parents owe them a car just bc they could drive. What happened to the concept of earning your living? Let's face it, parents willingly spend money on children knowing they ain't get nothing in return bc their under-16 children don't work! That's 16 years of them living with parents free of rent, not contributing to family expenses, and thinking they could do w/e they want bc their parents will always love them.

Plus the time parents spend with their kids could be detrimental to their own careers. Not just stay at home moms, but also working parents who give up promotions, taking time off to attend school plays and sporting games, etc. And these 16 years of putting up with brats...that's enough money spent on them to buy a house!

Solution: Discipline your kids! Foster care is good for the character bc if children misbehaves, they are out of that particular home. Don’t ppl get kicked out of school or work for the same reason? But to be practical, a permanent home that disciplines is the 2nd best. Don’t put up with bad behavior. Make kids do 100% of chores after school (from age 5 and on) so parents won’t have anything to worry about when they get home from work. Most of all, withhold love and affection 99% of the time. Don’t talk to your kids unless chore related. Make everything business-like. Your kids will then become productive and competent in the real world.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you are joking, aren't you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I'm dead serious? How was I joking?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissmekate wrote: »
    No I'm dead serious? How was I joking?

    well what you've written is pretty much a load of bullshit. so i thought maybe you worked in childcare and had had a bad day or something.

    please don't have children if this is your child rearing method.
  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    I agree, Children do need discipline.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Angel** wrote: »
    I agree, Children do need discipline.

    well yeah, obviously, you can't just let them run amok. but not discipline INSTEAD of love.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grace wrote: »
    well what you've written is pretty much a load of bullshit. so i thought maybe you worked in childcare and had had a bad day or something.

    please don't have children if this is your child rearing method.

    Are you serious? You're saying there is something wrong with this method?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissmekate wrote: »
    Are you serious? You're saying there is something wrong with this method?

    love =/= spending lots of money and giving everything that a child asks for. almost all children are loved, but the majority don't grow up to become 'spoilt, entitled and generally bratty.'

    if parents don't want to worry about their children when they get home from work they should just.....not have children.

    doing what you say won't make your children productive and competent etc., it'll just fuck them up for life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kids need discipline AND love.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kaff wrote: »
    Kids need discipline AND love.

    What I was going to say, what's wrong with both? Bit taken a-back by your comments OP, extreme.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    What I was going to say, what's wrong with both? Bit taken a-back by your comments OP, extreme.

    It's the free ride kids have that bothers me. Like living in parents house w/o paying rent or contributing to groceries, etc. You could actually LOVE your charity cases?
  • Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Noob Posts: 876
    I'm 16. I've had absolutely nothing but love from my parents. Never been smacked, been grounded twice in my life and that was years ago. I don't have a job, I don't give my parents money for me being at home, I get given pocket money every week and don't do chores or anything, just help out occasionally if my parents ask me to. I am perfectly independant though. And me and my brothers do get spoilt, we're never left needing anything, we mostly get what we ask for plus more when birthdays and christmas comes around and yet none of us are spoilt brats. I am happy with my home life. My mum couldn't be happier with her job and her hours and everything. In no way have me or my brothers held her back, she loves being able to have the same holidays as us so she can spend time with us. I think you're fucking delusional darling. Its kids who grow up with no love who struggle more and end up quite fucked in the head frankly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hE1C222D2
  • Annaarrr!!Annaarrr!! Noob Posts: 876
    ^lol'd!!!!!!!!
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,207 Skive's The Limit
    I prefer the Carrot AND Stick method.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the OP has confused showing love to kids as "spoiling them" when spoiling them at every given opportunity is no real love at all. I'm sure it was the beatles that said money cant buy you love.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissmekate wrote: »
    It's the free ride kids have that bothers me. Like living in parents house w/o paying rent or contributing to groceries, etc. You could actually LOVE your charity cases?

    So when you were 4 they sent you down to work in the mines then?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    troll
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loving your kids means you discipline them imo. If you let them get away with murder it doesn't help anyone.

    Spare the rod etc... obvs not literally condoning caning, but if you don't punish in some way, they don't learn
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kissmekate's writing style sounds very familiar. I'm sure I've seen them round these parts before.

    I would say you have to thrash your child to stop them turning into a brat, but a lot of brats seem to like that sort of thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not a parent...

    But I believe the best way to bring up kids is by being attentive to their needs, but also by making sure they have recognised boundaries.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    troll

    Definitely looking for a reaction. I think the topic overall is fine though, so if people can stick to the topic and avoid responding to the extremity, then there's probably some interesting discussion to be had.

    There was an interesting article on obedience in the papers a few weeks ago - not sure if anyone caught it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It don't work like that? especially with the chore bit...

    My mum never disciplined me..or showed me love, I became a young carer at age of 6..I had to cook, clean and do all the household work, I still acted up in school..I got kicked out of school...because I longed for attention and love and care from someone, and the only way I felt I could get it was by..misbehaving.

    children need love...and disciplin..not showing children love affects them in the future..I read an article where not showing children love can affect them in the future mentally, more adults become depressed, alone..and anxious that haven't had love from there parents..then those that have...

    Just saying..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every single person above me, were trolled to death xD
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shikari wrote: »
    Every single person above me, were trolled to death xD

    Yes we are all literally dead
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RIP us...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Emmalee wrote: »
    It don't work like that? especially with the chore bit...

    My mum never disciplined me..or showed me love, I became a young carer at age of 6..I had to cook, clean and do all the household work, I still acted up in school..I got kicked out of school...because I longed for attention and love and care from someone, and the only way I felt I could get it was by..misbehaving.

    children need love...and disciplin..not showing children love affects them in the future..I read an article where not showing children love can affect them in the future mentally, more adults become depressed, alone..and anxious that haven't had love from there parents..then those that have...

    Just saying..

    Where is that article? Sounds interesting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was on the NSPCC site...my old teacher told us to look at it for research on an assignment once
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would say that it would be much better to bring a child up with lots of love and no discipline than the other way round.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    even better to bring up with both ofc
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This reminded me of that Japanese woman who was in the press a lot a while back:

    "Yale law professor, and mother of two girls, Amy Chua gave the world a new type of mother role model in her memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother: someone who insisted on several hours of music practice every day, banned sleepovers and wasn't happy with anything less than an A+ for schoolwork."

    Her kids lives sounded nothing like a childhood to me! More here
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