having trouble fingering myself (girl)

Former Member

Okay, so I've rubbed my clitoris (I think that's the word) it has felt so lovely. Its been my only way of masterbating.
But recently, I have been dating a guy who wants to have sex. I'm worried though that I won't feel anything when we do it since a close friend of mine confessed that she has had sex four times already with her boyfriend and she didn't get aroused.
So in the middle of masterbating (by rubbing my clit) I have tried to finger myself but it just doesn't feel good when I have my finger in there. I move my finger around and even put two in once, but it just doesn't feel as good as rubbing. Not even when I play with my nipples while fingering.
I'm worried I won't feel anything either when I have sex with my boyfriend. Am I doing it wrong?

Former Member

long_gone:D wrote: »

Okay, so I've rubbed my clitoris (I think that's the word) it has felt so lovely. Its been my only way of masterbating.
But recently, I have been dating a guy who wants to have sex. I'm worried though that I won't feel anything when we do it since a close friend of mine confessed that she has had sex four times already with her boyfriend and she didn't get aroused.
So in the middle of masterbating (by rubbing my clit) I have tried to finger myself but it just doesn't feel good when I have my finger in there. I move my finger around and even put two in once, but it just doesn't feel as good as rubbing. Not even when I play with my nipples while fingering.
I'm worried I won't feel anything either when I have sex with my boyfriend. Am I doing it wrong?

Youre expecting porno imagery to be your sex education, which is going to be unsatisfying. There is no need for you to rub your own nipples when wanking, or to finger yourself. The actual act of penetration in a sexual encounter is physically nice when its mentally arousing. Id say most women wouldnt get anything out of physical pentration without sexual arousal first.
When youre really into a guy and really want to do it with him, there are lots of things that will feel really good when youre in that mindset, but dont worry if it feels pretty nothingy when you do it on your own. Keep concentrating on the stuff that feels good. Other stuff might feel good later when youre more ready.

Former Member

Definitely what Suzy said.
There are a few things that might make fingering feel better, such a lubrication, but if you don't like the idea of penetration then don't let your boyfriend make you have sex. You can't make yourself ready, and he can't make you ready.

*Holly*

Hey long_gone

You've already got some pretty spot-on advice here, in that sex very rarely works like how you see it in the movies. Like your friend, lots of girls find it hard to orgasm through just having sex.

There is no right or 'wrong' way to touch yourself, it's all about experimenting with what feels good. This TheSite article about female orgasms may be worth a read, and will give you some hints.

As for having sex with this guy, you're most likely to enjoy sex if you're comfortable, relaxed and, most importantly, ready. Having sex is a big decision and it may be worth also reading these articles just to checklist how you're feeling about sleeping with this guy.
Am I ready for sex?
Losing your virginity

Ultimately - sex, masturbation and finding out what feels good is a learning process and it can take a while to get there sometimes. But it's a fun journey, as long as you're happy and confident with what you're doing.

Former Member

The clitoris is where most of the nerve endings are so it will be the part of you that feels best to stroke and play with. But as Suzy said the biggest sex organ is your brain; when you're in a mindset that you want sex and want it with your partner then it will feel good. But porno imagery of tweaking a nipple and sticking something inside you isn't how it works in real life. It mostly doesn't feel very good unless you have that mental connection with the person you're playing with.

Former Member

Penetration might not be great, but just wait till you sit on his face. Then you'll love it.

Annaarrr!!

Shikari wrote: »

Penetration might not be great, but just wait till you sit on his face. Then you'll love it.

You're a bit of a git but you do make me laugh.

Everyones pretty much said what needs to be said. First time I had sex I'm pretty sure I wasn't really into it/hadnt made up my mind and I didn't feel a thing (y) make sure you're ready and willing 100% and don't do anything you're not comfortable with.