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How can I stop being single?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone.
I'm wondering if you (especially females) could give me some advice on how to find a girlfriend. I'm a 19 year old male, and between 11 and 18 went to a single sex school, although most people did have a girlfriend. Then last September I went to university, but left in December, so reallly have gone the past 8 years without much contact with the opposite sex.
I'm not into clubbing, and don't really drink, and am really shy (to the extent where I find it a real effort to talk to someone who I don't know really well).
I've never had a girlfriend, and probably wouldn't know if one was interested unless she said so. So here's my problem. How do I tell if a girl is interested, and what do I do about it if she is?
Any advice on this would be really welcome.
Thanks!:)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya.
    I went to a single sex school for 5 years so to be honest thats no excuse. Is there someone in mind you really want to attract?????? If not don't go looking because it's one of those things you never find when you look.
    You could trying going out with friends. Doesn't have to be the pub, i find bars are full of nicer people than pubs (possible because they're full of 40 y/o greasy perverts who see a single 18 y/o and well they aim at me) Plus you don't have to drink-J20 is really nice and i drink it when i drive!

    As for telling them you like them.............. you don't verbally have to say...... I like you-if you act nicely to them (not too smothering though) they'll get the idea and then you can say...."would you like to meet again (so long since anyone nice has said that to me but some line like that). If they say yes...... take a number call her a few times and arrange something and if she says no...... say it's ok and move on-DON'T DWELL on it...it will knock your confidence.

    This probably pointless to you but you know if you want to chat especially if you have someone particularly in mind then contact me.

    Oh and don't just think the first girl you meet will be your g/f-try a few people out before you find someone nice!!!

    Kate x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Continued.....
    Eye contact is a way of saying yes you are nice and flirting obviously. I dread saying this but do a search on body language, you should find some decent stuff to anwer your question.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi mate im 19 and havent got a girlfriend but i have a few girl(friends) if you see what i mean the best thing that i can say from being with them is they all like diffrent things? not much help i know. Best thing is go out with some mates not clubbing if it aint your thing just to the arcades maybe a pub? and you never know what will happen? as for what to do ?well if she likes you go for it !!!! :D
    If she dont she will let you know trust me :(

    but anyway have fun

    S.G :cool:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by SLINKY GUY

    If she dont she will let you know trust me :(


    Guilty!!!! Shit now i feel bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: How can I stop being single?

    Although some may disagree that going to a single sex school makes a difference, I think it does. Theres a guy in college and he went to an all boys school, and he is very very shy. It turns out he really likes me but he became too obsessed too quick and it scared me off, you ned to not appear desperate, just relax when your talking to a girl, dont make too much of an effort like pretending to find things funnny that arent, but show your interested in her by using eye contact, smiling alot and paying more attention to her than anybody else there.

    As for not knowing if a girl is interested in you, believe me i think youll know. she'll basically use lots of eye contact, smile, and make conversation with you. And if she is interested in you and you like her, act on it!! Dont miss the chance and then go home thinking if only......
    Get her number and text her, but wait a day or so, you dont want to overdo and seem too interested, this may scare her off.

    Good luck :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NO NO NO. Don't wait a day or two. I find it dead cute when i've literally just spoken to a bloke and im walking home and you suddenly get cute txt saying "Hi, it was really lovely meetign you and i hope we can meet again" So cheesy it's great!!!!

    Whatever you do don't text again until she replys.......she won't reply if shes not interested!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kat
    NO NO NO. Don't wait a day or two. I find it dead cute when i've literally just spoken to a bloke and im walking home and you suddenly get cute txt saying "Hi, it was really lovely meetign you and i hope we can meet again" So cheesy it's great!!!!

    Whatever you do don't text again until she replys.......she won't reply if shes not interested!!!!

    OK so maybe I dont give the best advice, it is dead cute when you get a text straight away actually, but then what I mean is dont keep on and on texting, but then I suppose every girls different, some love guys being after them, others prefer them to back off abit and appear not so desperate and in ya face. And yes, definately wait till she replys so you know shes interested and you wont make such an idiot of yourself then if shes not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Angel babe i didn't mean to contradict you though the NO NO NO was a bit rude sorry!

    You are right, do not over text if for a mad moment you do give your number out and then go why the hell, she'll only ignore them. If you're tooooo persistent it's scary!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The way I've come out of single sex-ness lasting seven years is that females seem to be unobtainable, unapproachable, almost different species altogether. I know men and women are different, but I know deep down they're not THAT different! Just tricky to act like you believe it though. I'd never send a child of mine to a single sex school unless is was by far the best school in the area.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Women are not aliens! Treat them like human beings.

    If you feel intimidated when talking to a woman, pretend that she's your best mate, somone you've known for ages and feel comfortable with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I were you I'd join a club, evening class or something that where women will be around.

    It will be really difficult to start with when you don't know anyone and feel shy.

    But . . . if you force yourself to go through with it it will get easier.
    And the more time you spend around women the easier it will be.

    Don't think about chatup lines or any of that crap. Just think about making friends and having fun.

    Go forth and multiply.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Increase your circle of friends. I know that's pretty hard to put into practise, but the more people you know and interact with the easier it gets to interact with anyone.

    I don't do the "go out on Saturday night and pull" thing 'cos it just ain't me, most of my ex-g/f's I've met through friends, always makes it easier if you've got friends in common.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I ain't really got that many friends either. No confidence :(:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It kind of sounds like you re finding excuses for yourself. If you don't have friends try to make some. If anything it will help increase your confidence. :)
    I think there are some things on making friends on TheSite but I'm feeling lazy right now. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Where Daisy fails, Deeb prevails
    making mates
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Deeeeb
    Where Daisy fails, Deeb prevails

    I didn't fail...I was just feeling lazy. Now hush you. :p:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not making up excuses, just giving you the bigger picture. I know others who've been in my situation who have gf's, just got to get one myself! I'm a bit scared of getting intimate with someone too, so I also wanted to know, have you lot felt this way before you had a bf/gf?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most people are scared but the only way you can do it is to make yourself.

    Possibly get together with your mates with girlfriends. they might have some friends you can learn to be more confident around. if you're not confident don't jump into a relationship, make friends with loads of girls. you'll be better off!
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