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The uncle..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey
I touched on this a little bit on this in chat yesterday but I thought I'd say a little more about it,
My uncle is a really aggresive man, he's bigger then me and is terrifying to say the least, He's constantly drinking and he's spent years in prison for GBH, he's only been out a few months. He's just started dating one of the people I used to hang around with at school but was a couple of years above me, I don't expect the relationship to last long but because she used to be my friend he's trying to control me, and I don't like it. If I don't like something or someone I will tell them its not always a good thing and it gets me in trouble an awful lot, but its better then pretending I like someone as it hurts both people. So anyways, My uncle hates the fact I don't like him telling me what to and has turned against me.
He personally knew Alice he didn't always like her but he knew how much she meant to me, so he's started saying things like "Ha even your friends can't stick you they've killed themselves to get away from you" amongst other horrible things, I had to sit on the sofa as I wasn't allowed to move and him and my brother who had both being drinking heavily and they both went on and on about how I'm a failure and how they know about my suicide attempts and how I'm really pathetic if I can't even do that properly.
I have to say, it was one of the hardest things I've ever heard, I stood up to go and get a drink, So my brother followed me slamming the door into me and trapping my fingers in a door. I already have a broken finger and a bust knuckle so it was really painful, then when I went back in it was round two and eventually I just went "for fuck sake your making me want to jump infront of a fucking bus" Well, My uncle..replied with "shame that won't kill you"...
Ive actually had it...
I touched on this a little bit on this in chat yesterday but I thought I'd say a little more about it,
My uncle is a really aggresive man, he's bigger then me and is terrifying to say the least, He's constantly drinking and he's spent years in prison for GBH, he's only been out a few months. He's just started dating one of the people I used to hang around with at school but was a couple of years above me, I don't expect the relationship to last long but because she used to be my friend he's trying to control me, and I don't like it. If I don't like something or someone I will tell them its not always a good thing and it gets me in trouble an awful lot, but its better then pretending I like someone as it hurts both people. So anyways, My uncle hates the fact I don't like him telling me what to and has turned against me.
He personally knew Alice he didn't always like her but he knew how much she meant to me, so he's started saying things like "Ha even your friends can't stick you they've killed themselves to get away from you" amongst other horrible things, I had to sit on the sofa as I wasn't allowed to move and him and my brother who had both being drinking heavily and they both went on and on about how I'm a failure and how they know about my suicide attempts and how I'm really pathetic if I can't even do that properly.
I have to say, it was one of the hardest things I've ever heard, I stood up to go and get a drink, So my brother followed me slamming the door into me and trapping my fingers in a door. I already have a broken finger and a bust knuckle so it was really painful, then when I went back in it was round two and eventually I just went "for fuck sake your making me want to jump infront of a fucking bus" Well, My uncle..replied with "shame that won't kill you"...
Ive actually had it...
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Because suzy...it was christmas..
Hope you're okay, always about if you need to chat.
I agree. I'd think id rather have no family at all than spend it with those awful horrible people you describe.
for sure. I think thats probably the case for lots of abuse victims. Its a fantasy though. Thinking that somehow things will change, and i think in some ways this is the worst bit about christmas. As you grow up you can choose who you hang around with, and create your own "family" out of close friends if you want to, rather than put yourself in situations where you will be abused, just because you happen to share a bit of DNA.
Then allow yourself to grieve
You hope that things will change, but they don't, and there's nothing you can do.
It's not a fantasy though. Okay you'd be in an unsafe environment, but the abuse may not happen just because you're there for Christmas.
Everyone has their own opinion on situations like this though. So I'll stop there
A fantasy of a perfect family christmas is something most people have. I do. It never bloody happens.
All im saying is you dont have to put yourself in those situations. You might find that trying to be part of a family christmas is actually more hurtful than enjoyable. Thats all im saying. Im telling you that you have choices here.
Is there anyone in your family that you feel supported by? I can get how trapped you must feel, especially if you're caring for your parents and need to be around at family events but I'd hope someone in your family can provide a bit of support and back-up when your uncle says those horrible things. Even just a hand on the shoulder and knowing you can leave the room. You shouldn't be made to feel physically trapped like that. It's really easy to suggest not letting him get to you but he sounds like a horrid individual whose words and opinions are disgusting and hurtful but in the end, they amount to nothing. You're a strong person. Bullies like him don't like that.
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My mum just believes that I'm really clumsy (which is true) and thats how I get my injuries..she refuses to believe anything else
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Im not saying its easy. Im saying you have choices. Im not saying any of your choices are easy. Theyre not. Refusing to spend time with people who are physically, emotionally and verbally abusive towards you is not in any carers remit and certainly not in a young carers. Maybe you should mention it to social services? It doesnt sound like this whole situation can last. Does your father have any other carers? Why is it down to you?