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Am I doing something wrong?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Growing up I was never very popular. I was the fat kid at school that no one liked. Always got picked on, and wasn't very good with girls. But in the last 2 years, i have moved to a new area, lost 4o kilos, and gotten my life pretty well on track. Since I lost all the weight, I've been finding the girls around here really find me attractive. But only in the last 6 months I have gained the confidence to get involved with someone. But my relationships are not lasting long (usually because of drama and immature nonsense), and they are getting physical very quickly. In the last 6 months i have been in 3 physical relationships, and am getting into another one now. I'm not looking for them.. when the last one ended, I told myself I will focus purely on work, and establish a good financial background..but I met another girl, and it has already gotten physical. I think I'm gonna get more involved with her, but I'm not sure if I am doing the wrong thing by getting into so many short-term physical relationships. I have always been told that at my age, a relationship should be fun. But I wonder if doing this too much will screw me up emotionally? And so far, I don't think anyone has really gotten hurt by it. Not that I know of, anyway. Is it likely that I'm causing these girls emotional damage that I don't know about?
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Also..I advise you take things slow...Don't go into a relationship thinking "okay this is going to get physical" you're setting your expectations to high. Just go with the flow...Do whatevers right in that moment but don't get your relationships all planned out before they've barley even begun
First well done for getting your life back on trak, that takes a lot of courage and strength! :yes:
It understandable to feel slightly confused about what is right or wrong in the dating world as you say you have only felt ready and confident in the last 6 months. What's important to remember is that there is no right or wrong of how to have a relationship - it's about what feels right for you.
Are you happy having these short term sexual relationships? Are you worried about commitment or is it simply the physical side that worries you?
Perhaps the fact that you posted this means you feel slightly unsettled about how this has been going, so maybe asking yourself what would make you happy and whether you are looking for something deeper. After that perhaps you can adjust your way of dating to your own preference
Good luck
I do want something deeper. I want to find a girl that I can settle down with, and start a family. I am being extremely careful with that, and I know that in order to find her, I will need to date around a bit. I just feel that 4 physical relationships within a 6 month period is quite a lot.. It always feels right in the moment, but I wonder if I need to try to resist that a bit more in order to find that deeper connection with someone. I understand that I may be a bit young to be looking for something like that, after all, I'm only 20. But it's what I want to find, eventually. And I'm wondering if these short-term sexual relationships are going to make it difficult for me to connect with someone, even though they are fun and no one is getting hurt.