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Harry and Sally
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
An age old question for you lot to debate - Can men and women just be friends? Explain your answers.
Susie
Susie
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Comments
Yes they can just be friends, I have alot of male friends and thats all they are- friends. I used to be really good mates with a boy when I was 11 and everyone kept saying we were going out and it really annoyed me. Its good to have male and female friends. Yeah, Ive ended up getting really close to them, things have happened and the friendship has been ruined as a result of it, but its too easy to let that happen, but Ive still got close male friends who I can talk to about anything and thats all we'll ever be- friends.
But can they just be friends?
Difficult to say - so many people lie when they say they aren't attracted / sexually attracted to someone.
And that's fair enough because otherwise the friendship might not be able to work at all.
Ooops rambling a bit. I can't help it - it was very hot last night and my brain is feeling the effects of the resulting lack of sleep.
Apologies
S.G :cool:
But thats just what we are, friends, and now we are so close, I personally just wouldn't feel right taking it any further.
I guess it's like any sort of relationship - platonic or otherwise, being honest with each other is the key.
S.G :cool:
Same goes for me, I had really strong feelings for a mate, told him and havnt seen or heard from him since, this was about 6 weeks ago now! :eek:
I definately think you can have friends of the opposite sex, but I agree there can be complications, like if you fancy them or whatever then it can be hard to view them just as friends.
I do believe in friendships with the opposite sex although it is not as easy for people to accept as a friendship with the same sex
So yes - men and women can JUST be friends but that doesn't mean somewhere along the lne there won't be the 'MMMM what if?' thoughts.
Thats the point, yes males and females can be friends, but not so purely that sexual attration isn't a factor, it needn't just be physical attraction, we often evaluate members of the opposite sex based on whether we would want our offspring to share their genes and the very fact we chose to remain friends shows we like what we see.
Virtually everything we do in life can be traced back to reproducing and brining up offspring as effectively as possible, having 'friends' of the opposite sex is no exception.
Tobacco - 0.9 %
Alcohol - 0.5 %
Opiates - 0.003 %
Ecstasy - 0.00005 %
Cannabis - No recorded deaths
WAY HAY - lets get rid of all theothers and just keep Cannabis!
Anyway - Back to the point... I agree with Oscar Wilde
A man and a woman can never be friends without sex rearing its ugly head (Or something like that)
Yes, of course.
Men and women can be friends and no more. In my twisted world view, you make friends with someone, or you connect on a mental level. Therefore, friendships are immaterial of gender. That's it, that's all you need to know.
Further to that argument, you can't prove it either way. For every example of people that have been friends and then further feelings have destroyed it, you can bring examples of male/femal best friends who have never thought that way. However, having said that, it's a nice argument.
Bit slow to respond on this one, but i soo agree! This happend to me extremely reacently (as in last week...) I really liked one of my best boymates but that was just getting in the way of the friendship thing... so i told him how i felt n tho i was prepared for him to never speak to me again it does seem to have (so far) made us even closer.
But only time will tell i guess!
Ln
***
We flirt with each other and have kissed once, but we're still only friends.
I think that if there is an attraction then there will always be flirting, but the love for our respective partners means we'll always be just friends, never lovers. Sometimes he's like my big brother and other times I fancy the pants of him!
I stayed up until 6am Saturday morning at a sleepover on Friday :eek: and this was one of the topics we touched on. Personally, I believe firmly that gals and guys can have platonic friendships. However, this isn't the case with a female mate of mine. Story time....
I am extremely close friends with the (male) ex of one of my very close friends. We can just talk and talk and when I'm around him, I'm at ease. I'm aware that the feeling is mutual... recently he told me that he gets on better with me than he does with some of his male mates. Many people would probably think for a fleeting second "Oh, bet they fancy each other" but once they see us, they know that we are nothing more than close friends. Admittedly, I think he's good looking, and he's told people I am, but we just don't think of each other in that way.
Not so one of my best female mates. She is convinced that we both fancy each other to bits. It's got to the point where I cannot invite her out if me and him are going somewhere, because she'll spend 95% of the time making little comments. You all know what I mean... Oh, don't Tash and Dave get on well? or They look good together don't they? She just cannot accept that we are just mates. The two of us (me and him) were talking about this. He came up with a good point...
"If I was to play fight with one of my male friends, like pinning them against a wall, people would think it was just two lads mucking around, and would think nothing of it. But if I was to pin you against a wall in jest, can you imagine the looks?!" People view mixed-sex friendships in completely different ways to those in which they view same-sex friendships.
So yeah, I personally think females and males can be just friends... I have lots of male friends and am just as capable of having a laugh with them as with my female friends. It's just a question of how other people view the friendship though.
Susie
how unfortunate for one of my mates. she had been best mates with this lad since they were like two or something. anyway all the girls in our group knew she liked him, but last summer, her best mate came out to us all. Then after him, the two other lads in our group came out.....it was like...ohmy god!!! gutted.