plzz ur advice will be more appreciated thanks

Former Member

Hi i'm imalisa....
i might sound somehow but wats is going on in my life right now is killing me slowly. no one to talk to, no one to seek advice from. i feel that you guys could help me wit ur advice...
I love my boyfriend soo much and he loves me also, but we've been having problem and am confuse i don't know what to do, i don't know if am the one making the mistake i need help plz............. here is the full details, we've been dating for a year now and am crazy about him but each time we had an argument maybe little argument that wont lead to break up, we end up breaking up and maybe one week later he will go get a new girl friend... dis is the second time dis same tin has happened......... he came back to me the first time dis tin happen and he apologize that he still luv me that he couldn't be wit d girl, he keeps thinking about me. base on the fact the i still luv him so much, i accepted him back and we lived happily for about 7 months and now same tin repeated its self and it hurts me soo bad i decided to quit but i still love him and i keep thinking abt him every night until i met a guy who i like and i feel a little bit attracted to him, he told me he likes me alot and he wants to be wit me. i agreed we went out for abt 2weeks . now my boyfriend is trying to come back, i dont knw wat to do (accept him or let him go?) i still love him thats the truth but for the other guy, i just dont trust him i feel he is tryna use me. pls help me out, i dont wanna get heartbreak any more..... i don't know if i should go back to my bf but what's the probability that he wont break my heart again. pls i need ur advice on what to do, i dont want to make the wrong decision.

Thanks
Ima

Former Member

I don't know, we can't decide for you. but can I suggest something?
talk. tell him all that bothers you and ask him about things you fear off.
also see if he initiates part of the conversation and asks you back stuff he wants to know.
this all seems like you both don't really talk with each other, he gets frustrated and leaves.
do you talk about things or just meet and ignore everything?

Former Member

hello kittyhugs
we do talk to each other very well:yes:

Former Member

Sounds to be that he keeps on coming back to you as his back up option if things are not working out between him and other women.


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Former Member

Hi G-Raffe,
i thought about that too but i really don't knw wat to believe any more

Former Member

G-Raffe wrote: »

Sounds to be that he keeps on coming back to you as his back up option if things are not working out between him and other women.


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You'd think that, but there's more to it than that. (In my personal opinion).
I had an ex once, that i was with for about 2 years. During that time, we used to argue just like you, over tiny things, it'd snowball into bigger things, and we'd split up. I'd get a new girlfriend, see her for a short amount of time, realise the grass isn't greener on the other side (basically, that the new person i have met isn't that special). I'd then realize i was sort of still in love with my ex and i'd go back to try again.

He's probably, sort of in love with you, but bored/sick/done and wants to move on, but can't because he's still attached to you. Or because you'll split up and he'll get whatever it is outta his system and then come back.

Former Member

You can obviously see a pattern here, and its not the makings of a healthy relationship. I've done similar things in the past and it never works out well. I know it hurts when you break up and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel something towards my ex for sometime after we broke up but we broke up for a reason and some relationship problems can't be fixed. I think you would be best off cutting all contact, healing your broken heart and then start afresh. I know it's hard, but otherwise you could be doing the same thing of breaking up and then making up for many years to come.

Former Member

Shikari wrote: »

You'd think that, but there's more to it than that. (In my personal opinion).
I had an ex once, that i was with for about 2 years. During that time, we used to argue just like you, over tiny things, it'd snowball into bigger things, and we'd split up. I'd get a new girlfriend, see her for a short amount of time, realise the grass isn't greener on the other side (basically, that the new person i have met isn't that special). I'd then realize i was sort of still in love with my ex and i'd go back to try again.

He's probably, sort of in love with you, but bored/sick/done and wants to move on, but can't because he's still attached to you. Or because you'll split up and he'll get whatever it is outta his system and then come back.

Which in essence boils down to exactly what I said.

Former Member

Probably, you know i don't think huge amounts.

Former Member

Hi imalisa,

Welcome to the boards :wave:

This must be a really hard and upsetting situation. There could be many reason why he acts this way and keeps leaving then coming back - however what's the most important is what you actually feel about all this.

Are these arguments about important things? Perhaps asking yourself why you break up regularly could help - are there deep reasons as to why you should end it? Dealing with arguments by speaking about them rather then ending things can help in these situations.

As kittyhugs mentioned speaking to him is the best way to find out what he really thinks. You say you communicate well, so if you can speak to him about how this has made you feel and this is why you are hesitating to get back with him, it could either give you closure and willingness to move on, or help you rebuild the relationship.

It seems like you still love him but it's a question of whether the bad has overcome the good while being with him. At the end of the day you need to follow your instinct as to what feels more right.

Do let us know how you get on *hug*