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Getting older/growing up.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not sure where to put this really?

Basically just having one of those mid-twenties crises. I'm nearly half way through my third and final year of uni, and I guess because I didn't start til I was a bit older and everything, it's making me think about how old I'm getting. (Will be 24 in feb and when I graduate).
A lot of my mates up at uni are a few years younger than me, and I start thinking about what happens when I graduate? I'm not ready to settle down into a proper life yet, still have more travelling to do etc, even though I'm aware the reason I didn't start uni til I was 21 because I was too busy doing that and fucking about for a few years anyway.
But I miss those days, working a full time bar job, no responsibilities, having a laugh with my mates all the time, going on holidays and travelling e.t.c.
Then I realise that a lot of my mates at home are moving on....a few of them are settled with good jobs, quite a few are now in serious relationships, one is even engaged.
What the fuck is going on? I don't want to grow up, it sounds shite.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No rush. Frankly, in your settled mates' eyes, there'll be a certain amount of envy. Not that they're not happy, just that there will be a part that wishes they could have the freedom to just do what they want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it's any reassurance I was pretty much 24 when I graduated, and as soon as you get anywhere near Scotland educated kids you'll find that it's not particularly uncommon to be graduating at that age.

    I'm older than you (shock, horror, yes it's actually possible) and I have friends who are not only engaged but also married. I've got what many would consider to be a responsible, grown up job, I even have a grown up car, I have a savings account that's aiming towards a house deposit. I also can't remember half of Saturday night, spent all of Sunday trying to persuade the hangover to go away, disappear off for weekends when I fancy it. Just now I have to make up the hours at work, fit my adventuring around shifts, or book the holiday to do it.

    You might find yourself growing up a bit in some parts of life, but it doesn't mean you become boring over night. Or at least not that I've noticed yet,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ye fair, I get what you're both saying. Guess although I don't want to really 'grow up', also worried about being left behind. Natural though I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Left behind is all about how you keep score. If winning is house, car, job, taxes, wife, then running off around the world to see what you can find is going to leave you behind.

    But if winning is being happy, then...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you dont have to do what you think you shpuld be doing. Why should you stop travelling and settle down? You might never want to, or you might later. Its not about growing up. As long as youre supporting yourself, then I dont see the problem
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Valid points. Just having one of those mornings.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pill'ed i feel like this everyday. all the time :/ Almost same situation, but i haven't gone to Uni yet, but my friends have.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My dad's 44... He's a DJ and he still does gigs in Nottingham till midnight then drives down to Bristol and gigs till 7am.
    He's got a wife )who he met clubbing) but they only got married 7 years ago, a six year old daughter and me.
    He does have a sensible job (substance misuse adviser for teenagers) but he still goes round the world... In his massive green truck that gets him searched everywhere...
    I guess the whole "marriage" thing is just about meeting like minded people. And the whole "sensible job thing" isn't really true. My dad basically works with kids who want to stop drinking/taking drugs, and teaches them to DJ or making music on a laptop. There are jobs out there that don't have to be boring.

    My dad had me when he was 29, mum was 19. Mum decided to grow up... become a social worker blah blah blah. My dad, yea he stopped taking hard drugs etc. but he still went out partying, he used to take me to reclaim the streets and stuff like that. He still carried on with his life, did what he wanted, but just made space for little me. He raised me until I was 3, because he used to work nights DJing where as my mum worked in the day.

    Who do I get on with better now? My dad, by far my dad. Because he did what he wanted to do, he had a life, but he included me. He was happy, where as my mum... she was never quite so happy in her jobs/friendships/relationships. I always seemed to get in the way.

    You don't have to rush these things. Maybe not the best example considering my dad had a kid involved... but it just shows you don't have to grow up if you don't want to, but to the rest of the world, you can appear like you have :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    I don't want to grow up, it sounds shite.

    It's only shite if 'growing up' means changing yourself into something you're not. If you don't fancy the settled life, don't settle!

    Plus even if you do pick the marriage and kids thing, you don't have to suddenly turn into one of these people who get their thrills from traipsing round B&Q every weekend. IMO it's not an age thing, it's a personality thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    teaches them to stop drinking and taking drugs by learning skills mostly used in places where drugs and alcohol are the main pastime :):)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    teaches them to stop drinking and taking drugs by learning skills mostly used in places where drugs and alcohol are the main pastime :):)

    What my dad? He does music and DJ workshops with the kids so they feel like they have a skill, so they've got something to occupy their time other than substance. He works for the NHS so it's not like he's doing this on a whim, it's an actual help program he helped design that's used through out Nottingham and Mansfield. He's been doing it for 10+ years. It works.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Respect to your old man. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pill-ed, are you feeling like this in part because you're surrounded by people younger than you?

    Whatever the reason, do whatever makes you happy. If you want to keep travelling and can afford to do so, then why don't you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 23 this month and doing my Masters degree, but so many of my friends are engaged, 3 from uni have got married since we graduated 18 months ago (one was a guy I was seeing in my 2nd year). I've had about 3 engagement announcements on facebook in the past 2 weeks alone. I've still never had a proper job and trying to carve my way into a really difficult career and think it's a success if a guy wants to see me more than twice - let alone get into a relationship or even engaged. They're all scaring me with their shared flats and proper jobs and sparkly rings, it all seems a million miles away from me :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex has just told me he and his wife are having a baby.

    They're welcome to grow up - sounds like my idea of hell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guess time just fly's by these days! It's mental.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 26! Settled with my partner and our son but I think u should do it when ur ready ed, not before! Hope ur ok! Long time no speak huni! X
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I will never grow up! I'll never chain down that child inside of me. xD
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 27 and feel like I'm getting rather older all the time, many people would still consider me to be rather young, but I think in the past 4 years I've had more awesomeness in my life (as well as more shitness) than the previous 23. The only thing I can say that will transcend age groups and is in my mind a universal constant; no matter what you have seen and experienced in life, no matter how old or young you are, life will always find a way to surprise you no matter what.
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