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Should I forgive my real birth father?, or just throw him away?,.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I found that I was adopted several weeks ago, me, and my real birth parents gotten along great. Until I found out that my real birth father wanted a boy instead of a girl because he thought that I would turn out to be a bad, and terrible person. He regretted finding out by my mother that she was having a girl, he regretted the first heart beat hearing, before I was born all three of us was in a car crash before I was born, then I was adopted after the car crash, and I found out that my real birth so called father wanted a boy instead of a girl yesterday.

My question is should I forgive him and forget about it?, or should I just throw him away but still want him to follow me around along with my mother?,. I am confused..once I ask him to come around I do not know what to do. He do feel terrible for regretting me and people are trying to calm him down but his cries are to severe to be able to get him to stop. And, he said that he will continue until I forgive him, and <3 him again. I do not care if he cries because in the adoptive house I was abuse and he did not do any thing to stop it. All because of him not wanting a girl. So, he can cry all he want.

But, what do every else think I should do?.

By the way I am not a attention seeker, poseur, or a stereotype.

Comments

  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Do you believe that he truly regrets his past reaction?
    Has he tried to make amends in any way?

    If the answers to the above are "yes", I don't see any reason not to forgive him, to be honest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I believe it a little but not much...and he held me, talking to him self while talking to me, and was apologizing. But, while I am awake his cries until I forgive him and I guess that I am just being evil because of what he did. And, I am wondering/thinking is it this difficult for me to truly have a father figure, and best friend. I am wondering/thinking who is my father, and best friend but he is right by me.

    I am also thinking why do boys get all of the attention?, what makes them so important that make a lot of husbands not want a girl?,. Or they have a girl but they regretted her because they thought that she would turn out to be a bad, and terrible person. A lot of boys are bad, and terrible people to. Killing, and doing other disgusting things is easier than what a lot of girls do or are force to do. With girls at least a parents have chances to save them. Because if a boy is in jail that parent do not have a child any more. And, girls do go to jail to that is only a example. :impissed: It is a pathetic thought that a lot of parents have..
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    You already know someone you can ask for that answer, and have a right to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Forgiveness is a process, not necessarily an instant decision. Dont let anyone push you into saying theyre forgiven just to appease their own guilt. He does sound very remorseful.

    What youre saying doesnt entirely make sense though. I cant imagine most people would just decide after a car crash that actually they only wanted a boy. I think there is more to it than youre being told. Is it your birth mother that is saying this?

    Did he want a boy for cultural reasons? Maybe he couldnt handle the responsibility. I wouldnt have thought it was personal against you, even though it must feel like it sometimes.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    I am also thinking why do boys get all of the attention?, what makes them so important that make a lot of husbands not want a girl?,. Or they have a girl but they regretted her because they thought that she would turn out to be a bad, and terrible person. A lot of boys are bad, and terrible people to. Killing, and doing other disgusting things is easier than what a lot of girls do or are force to do. With girls at least a parents have chances to save them. Because if a boy is in jail that parent do not have a child any more. And, girls do go to jail to that is only a example. :impissed: It is a pathetic thought that a lot of parents have..

    It's understandable for you to feel that way. But like SuzyCreamcheese said, is there more to it?
    I know some cultures favor boys over girls, and that as far as history goes males are the ones to inherit, carry on the family name and business. And they don't have to pay for a wedding if they have a son. But this is modern day.

    Have you tried talking to him about it? If not, why not tell him that you don't forgive him, but you will try. (assuming you want to that is) But it will take time, and that you don't know if you can ever fully forgive such a lame reason that lead to you being adopted out.
    If you don't want to, or feel you can't forgive him, what about starting again? A fresh start? Then maybe, slowly after getting to know him again, you might come to forgive.

    You have to ask yourself, do I want to forgive him? xx
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