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having a partner in the armed forces

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
What's people's experience's? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak to start dating someone about to join the army?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never dated anyone in the military, but I've been a military kid. It was difficult for my mum when dad wasn't there, but I don't think there was any heartbreak (I was little though so I probably wouldn't have noticed anyway.) There's a very strong sense of community amongst military wives, partners and so on that you don't really get anywhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Curvy_lass wrote: »
    What's people's experience's? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak to start dating someone about to join the army?

    There are two types of things which can cause someone heart ache, 1) Cheating and 2) Difficulties such as distance and stuff.

    Although I do accept there are more things than that, I bring out the above two to use as an example. Firstly if someone cheats/is unfaithful then its because of the person and I'm a great believer that if someone does that, they would be capable of doing it no matter what job they did. So in this case just be careful about paying lots of attention to any horror stories you hear about cheating squaddies. I accept it does happen, but it still happens a hell of a lot in the wider world.

    The second bit is the difficulties such as distance and time spent apart/together. As mentioned by grace, there is a lot of support and senses of community amongst military wifes, but as you state you are considering dating someone about to join up. I think I could spend all night talking about pros and cons of things, but the distances and time spent apart can and often does effect relationships. All I will say is that if he is going into the Army, his basic training will be 14 weeks long, and during that time we wont be allowed out much and will quite possibly for those three months become focussed on achieving what he is there to do (pass his training). If you think you can deal with it, and the following training issue of him potentially being posted a long way away once he is out of training (ie you at one end of the country and him at another) then I say go for it. However do take note that its not just any normal job etc.
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