Home Health & Wellbeing
Need support urgently? Head to this thread.

Issues with therapy

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've had 5 sessions with a new therapist - who is meant to be an art therapist but we haven't done any art yet! I had my review appointment yesterday and she suggested that she didn't feel that the therapy was really helping me. She said she felt I was in the gap between learning how to deal with my emotions and just getting on with being an adult. But I thought that the point of therapy was to help me learn new skills to deal better with my emotions? She has asked me to think about how I feel about the therapy and continuing with it and come back to her next week. Every appointment that I have gone to I have left feeling very upset and most the time crying after the appointment - i find her manner very challenging in a negative way.

I want to continue having some kind of therapy but I'm not too sure how good the relationship with this therapist is. She frequently brings up my physical health issues and how she feels that it is impacting on me getting any benefit from therapy. I feel that she has been bringing up all the different reasons behind why I shouldn't be having therapy with her since I have started these sessions. I'm not sure if I can or should continue having therapy with her?

I really don't know what to say to her in this next appointment. I want to keep having therapy, but not with her! How can I word this in the best way to make this more likely and not make it out that she's a crap therapist?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I really don't know what to say to her in this next appointment. I want to keep having therapy, but not with her! How can I word this in the best way to make this more likely and not make it out that she's a crap therapist?

    One of the most important things about any talking treatment is the relationship with your therapist or counsellor. It's really key that you feel able to raise the feelings you've written here with her and talk them through. She should be open to this and also to the idea that you may just not be well suited to work together.

    What's really positive is that you're still really keen to stick with the therapy, have you been able to tell her how upset you've felt inbetween appointments?

    It can take some people three or four goes to find the right therapist and that's not to put you off but to reassure you! ;) If you find that you're more preoccupied with worries about the therapist and your relationship then it's going to take away from what you could potentially be getting out of the sessions.

    It might help to think about the key things you'd like to say to her, write them down and take them along with you or look at them before you go in to your next appointment?

    I wonder if you did anything at the start of your sessions about your expectations or goals from therapy and if she was able to describe what an average session would look like and how it could help you over time? Having a clear foundation from the start can help to put you both on the same page. Perhaps you could work on some goals together to move forward?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I haven't felt at all able to tell her that I was so upset after the appointment - tbh she scares me a bit! I know it can take a few goes till I find the right person, but the NHS doesn't seem to understand that. I'm going to talk to my mental health worker tomorrow about it, and see what she says. I think I will still write down some of the key points and take them to her, I just don't want to make it seem like i think she's crap or that I just don't like her.

    We did try to set a goal but I found it really hard. I didn't even get what kind of goal she meant and I did eventually say i just wante to regain some headspace so that i could stop over analysing everything, panic less and learn coping strategies to deal with my flashbacks and etc. But she didn't feel that was defined enough and keeps referring back to that point when talking about continuing therapy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Miss Riot, just wondered how it went with your mental health worker? I think it's really common for people to worry about offending their counsellor or therapist if they don't feel the relationship is working, or worry about them taking your concerns the wrong way. If you're able to be as honest as possible then fingers crossed you can work things out.. let us know how it goes *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not really because it was my last session with her as well. So now I've got no support at all!
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Sorry to hear that Miss Riot. At least you have support here. *hug*
    You know when you said about not getting what kind of goal she meant, well I was the same and asked what she meant. I remember my counselor telling me that it could be anything. Anything I wanted to work towards, for example career, family, or just feeling happy. I said I didn't want to have these thoughts anymore. So that was my goal, and I don't have the really negative ones anymore, sure I get down days, but not as bad.
    I think your goal can be a simple thing, whatever you feel you want or need.
    Hope you find a great therapist soon. xx :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she sounds really dismissive. Im not surprised that youre upset if she said that little snippet as her parting gift to you. Patronising wanker.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Went back to see her this week as she said she wanted to talk about last weeks session and it seems I got the wrong end of the stick. What she said was she hadn't made her mind up about whether continuing or not. I told her about how I felt after last week and she asked why I didn't tell her I was upset in the session - I just close down when I feel threatened, but the problem is that I feel threatened by non threatening things - I seem to get the wrong end of the stick or take the negative part of a sentence and run with it, and assume what someone means because I get myself in a tizz and can't see an alternative viewpoint at that time.

    So we've decided we're working on this first and having frequent reviews. I can have up to 24 sessions (unless she can prove to her managers that I need more) so we'll see how I go.
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    Good luck hun. We're all rooting for you. xx *hug*
Sign In or Register to comment.