Self-harming//domestic violence

Former Member

Hello, my name is Julia and I'd like to share my story with all of you.

When I was a child, my dad used to abuse of me. He hitted me several times. My parents separated when I was 10. Obviously, I went to live with my mom but I had to go to my dad's home every weekend. Many days, weeks disappeared of my memory.

Last year, my mum sent me to a therapist and she made me remember those traumatic days that disappeared. I couldn't cope with all those memories so I began self-harming. Everytime I have the necessity to cut deeper and I'm scared. Anyone knows about my self-harming but in my interior I feel like I want to tell to someone becuase I feel so lonely and I need help but I can't talt to anyone about cutting, even my therapist.

PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP, I'M SO LOST AND CONFUSED. I'M ALSO HERE TO LISTEN TO ALL OF YOU WHO NEED IT.

LOTS OF LOVE

Former Member

julia_ wrote: »

Hello, my name is Julia and I'd like to share my story with all of you.

When I was a child, my dad used to abuse of me. He hitted me several times. My parents separated when I was 10. Obviously, I went to live with my mom but I had to go to my dad's home every weekend. Many days, weeks disappeared of my memory.

Last year, my mum sent me to a therapist and she made me remember those traumatic days that disappeared. I couldn't cope with all those memories so I began self-harming. Everytime I have the necessity to cut deeper and I'm scared. Anyone knows about my self-harming but in my interior I feel like I want to tell to someone becuase I feel so lonely and I need help but I can't talt to anyone about cutting, even my therapist.

PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP, I'M SO LOST AND CONFUSED. I'M ALSO HERE TO LISTEN TO ALL OF YOU WHO NEED IT.

LOTS OF LOVE

I would love to listen. I know I'm only 13 but I have experience with self harming and councillors. My teachers at my school are helping me but its not working so I decided that I want to be a councillor when I'm older so they are helping me by getting my to help others with their problems/issues. Maybe you could think about doing this to. Its really helping me and its a good distraction. I'm always here to talk:)

Former Member

lostangel wrote: »

I would love to listen. I know I'm only 13 but I have experience with self harming and councillors. My teachers at my school are helping me but its not working so I decided that I want to be a councillor when I'm older so they are helping me by getting my to help others with their problems/issues. Maybe you could think about doing this to. Its really helping me and its a good distraction. I'm always here to talk:)

Thank you so much. I'm 16 btw. I'm going to sleep but you can email me if you wanna talk (my mail is in my profile)
Looking forward to sharing my full story with you and to listen to yours

Nice to meet you xxx

Reena

Hey Julia, welcome to thesite I'm sure you'll find lots of wonderful people willing to over you support and advice.

I used to self harm and still suffer from depression from time to time. What helped me, even though it was hard to talk about was the counselling. But I felt really comfortable with the counselor, she was really nice. Do you think the reason you don't want to talk about the cutting with your therapist, might be because you don't feel you can get on with them? I somehow felt like I was talking to a friend who wouldn't judge me.
But I think it makes a difference too if you choose to get help, or if you're told to get it. I wanted the help and was ready to talk about the difficult memories, I think if you're pushed into getting help it can have the reverse affect. So even though your mother thought she was doing good, maybe that's why you have a hard time talking about things with others, because you feel rushed or forced and unready to face the past.

Sorry if anything I said didn't make sense, I'm a bit low at the moment so I can't think straight. Again, lovely to meet you xx.

Former Member

julia_ wrote: »

Thank you so much. I'm 16 btw. I'm going to sleep but you can email me if you wanna talk (my mail is in my profile)
Looking forward to sharing my full story with you and to listen to yours

Nice to meet you xxx

Okay definitely will. I may not be able to find it because I'm on my iPod and can't use the computer otherwise my mum will wonder what I'm saying on here. I will try thoughxx

Former Member

Hi julia :wave:

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot at the moment *hug

I just want to reflect on what Reena says about maybe part of the reason of why you can not talk to your therapist is that possibly it's because you were made to go when you may not have felt ready for it. Do you feel this could be a reason why? Also Like Reena asked about do you get on with the therapist, do you feel uncomfortable talking to them?

Do not worry if this is how you may feel as you have come to the right place. You are welcome to talk about how you are feeling and talking about your self-harming on the boards as it is safe and a way of gaining support and advice :thumb:

Here is a link which gives you advice on self-harming that may help you http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/whatisselfharm

Please keep us posted with how you are doing

purple_rain

Former Member

Hey Julia, welcome to thesite I'm sure you'll find lots of wonderful people willing to over you support and advice.

I used to self harm and still suffer from depression from time to time. What helped me, even though it was hard to talk about was the counselling. But I felt really comfortable with the counselor, she was really nice. Do you think the reason you don't want to talk about the cutting with your therapist, might be because you don't feel you can get on with them? I somehow felt like I was talking to a friend who wouldn't judge me.
But I think it makes a difference too if you choose to get help, or if you're told to get it. I wanted the help and was ready to talk about the difficult memories, I think if you're pushed into getting help it can have the reverse affect. So even though your mother thought she was doing good, maybe that's why you have a hard time talking about things with others, because you feel rushed or forced and unready to face the past.

Sorry if anything I said didn't make sense, I'm a bit low at the moment so I can't think straight. Again, lovely to meet you xx.

Hi Reena, thank you sooo much for replying! I think you are right, I don't feel comfortable with my therapist, I think that it's because she is quite similar to my mum and also because she is always in contact with her by mail. It's really hard to face the past, and I think that my therapist doesn't understand how much difficult it's for me to talk to people about my emotions.
My therapist wants to finish my visits because when I go there I just say a few words but everyday is harder and I'm worse.

I don't know exactly what to do...

Again, thank you xx

Former Member

purple_rain wrote: »

Hi julia :wave:

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot at the moment *hug

I just want to reflect on what Reena says about maybe part of the reason of why you can not talk to your therapist is that possibly it's because you were made to go when you may not have felt ready for it. Do you feel this could be a reason why? Also Like Reena asked about do you get on with the therapist, do you feel uncomfortable talking to them?

Do not worry if this is how you may feel as you have come to the right place. You are welcome to talk about how you are feeling and talking about your self-harming on the boards as it is safe and a way of gaining support and advice :thumb:

Here is a link which gives you advice on self-harming that may help you http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/whatisselfharm

Please keep us posted with how you are doing

purple_rain

Hey, thank you for all the support.

I think you all are right and I wasn't ready to talk... I'm scared, I can't stop cutting and everytime it's more often but I'm a dancer and I couldn't cut my arm as musch as I wanted so I began cutting other parts of my body....
It's really weird and confusing because I feel I'm not ready to talk but I aslo feel that I need help...

Thanks for everything!

Former Member

Just sending all my best wishes and support. I know it may make you feel alone sometimes, but there are so many of us here willing to listen whenever you need it - you should never feel alone. If you feel it's not working with you current therapist, you could always try going to see your GP. I think you are able to without your mum's consent. Lots of Love F xx